im starting to realize that it’s just easier to push the ones who care about me away. I think I’d rather have people mad at me for doing this then being sympathetic. The more people I push away the less people i’ll hurt when I’m gone. At first I was cutting my wrist and kinda wanted some sort of attention from it but now I realize that was the wrong way to go. I’ve stopped cutting y wrist and now I’m cutting where can’t be seen if I’m fully dressed. (under and on my stomach going down to my legs about 8 inches of cuts […]
the first person I told about my suicidal thoughts/actions acted like he really cared. He made me tell my parents. He never asks me about it anymore. I feel like the only reason he wanted them to know was so he didn’t have to deal with me anymore. Which is totally understandable because i am areally hard person to handle. I still and always will feel really bad about telling him because I just threw him into a situation I’m sure he had no interest being in and he really dust have a choice but to help. I just wish he honestly cared.
I haven’t posted in a while. I told my parents.. I was kinda threatened to but I’m glad i did. Things were starting to get better when I first told them. Didnt cut till last night. I’m in the exact same spot I started in. I have made my 2 best friends cry because they are so worried. I know it hurts them but that’s nothing compared to the pain I have to wake up with everyday. I feel like now that people know it’s a free pass to kill myself because they won’t wonder why. We think I have depression. Could be possible […]
i haven’t cut for a while. My scars were healing and almost gone. I told another friend last night about my feelings. Second person I’ve told, And hopefully the last. Same thing, she said not to do it and I should talk to my parents and everyone loves me and would miss me blah blah blah.
I cut again last night.
Spent the entire night crying, woke up with my eyes swollen and sore. This is why I can’t tell people, im just gunna hear the same thing over and over again and have to act like theyre getting through to me when they really aren’t […]
today I decided to tell someone I trust about how I’m feeling and how close I’m getting to suicide. And he blew up at me, telling me I was selfish and livin in my own delusional world. Thought it would take some heat off of me having someone know. Just made me feel worse because now I feel like hes gunna see me as broken. And the only thing he could say to me is that I need to see a professional, and not for one second could he understand I’m hurt and just wanting to heal but I want to do it on my […]
Can’t stop thinking about how bad I dont want to be here. My birthday is a little over a week away (July 7th) and I’m thinking maybe I’ll take some kind of pills maybe muscle relaxers before i drink and drink A LOT. Just making it easier for everyone so they only have one day to remember me, cuz I was born and died on the same day. I want this to be the best birthday ever, have friends come out and just drink and get hammered and have fun, in turning 20, it should be fun! Now I don’t want to do anything.
I […]
Sometimes I’d rather think I’m just completely crazy then admit that I’m suicidal. You know? It’s easier that way. Less to deal with.
I just joined today and this is my third post already. I can’t believe how supportive people are on here. I’m really glad I found this. I glad I found people who feel like me.
Sometimes I wonder if I just want to leave because I’m not strong enough to handle the stress that is life, but I’m not stressed. I feel like I barely have feeling anymore, I’m just just here as a statue, as nothing. What is my life anymore? I work 3 jobs, all I ever do is work and drink. I’m not an alcoholic but I might as well be with […]
If anyone wants to talk outside of this site like through email or something let me know. I really need someone to talk to that won’t judge me and won’t tell me I’m wrong for thinking about suicide. I just need someone who understands m