Yes, it’s true.
I’m Jealous. Very jealous.
I’ve never been more jealous in my life.
And it hurts. And it’s dark.
It’s darker than black hole. Darker than satan’s soul.
I am jealous of the ones who get to die.
The ones who get to leave this place. This awful pace.
The ones who get to sleep soundly forever, unbothered by this evil called life.
I want to die. But I can’t die.
I wish I had no one to disappoint.
No one to hurt.
But there’s too many.
I want to end my pain not pass it on.
So I sit here waiting.
Hoping to […]
I basically visit this site everyday since my sister told me about it. But I’m always somewhat off with my posts. Truth is what I’m going through doesn’t really match a lot of posts that I read on here. And that says something.
Sure enough, we all feel suicidal for whatever reason and that is why we stay so true to SP. We’re all linked that way. But our reasons for loathing three things: ourselves, other people and the world/future, are so different.
I guess I’m just stating the obvious here but I want to get this point across. There are no problems that are too small or too […]
My depression took a break, I think. I didn’t go anywhere or see anyone but I had a moment of happiness when I heard one of my favorite songs . Then I drew a little and actually enjoyed it.
I’m not sure this is SP material but I thought maybe this is hope for some of you.
Either way today was a win. I wish for all of you to have a victory tomorrow 🙂
The thought of my mom finding out about my depression scares me. Why? Why does it scare me so much? I’m not sure.
This post is similar to my last one but I have to let it out anyway. I woke at around 4 PM today. My friends had planned to come pick me up at around 12PM so we would go spend time together before we all return to college. So when my alarm woke me up at 10 AM today, I texted them saying that I was so sick I couldn’t even get out of bed. That was true, I felt so tired.
It’s ironic how […]
Honestly, I did not think I would be on this site this often. It seems like there’s this sense of family here where everyone just wants to support everyone even though, none of us really want to live in the first place.
It’s a very satisfying irony.
Today I woke up at around 3:30 PM. I would have stayed longer in bed if it wasn’t for my mom’s consistent yelling in my head. She thinks I wake up so late because I go to bed so late and, while I do, I should not be sleeping for 12+ hours every night.
Yeah, it’s pretty easy for me to hide my depression since […]
I’m here because I don’t know what to do now…
The easiest way to put his is to say that I am lost, tired and hopeless. Suicide has been on my mind for months now and the more I try to push it away the more it grows stronger.
When the depression started a year ago, I made myself promise that I would never ever, ever hurt myself.I love my parents, my family, my friends and the random people I meet that are full of life, kindness and appreciation. I also told myself that I am a fortunate human being. I was born in a poor country […]