I just had a breakdown. Â I started breaking things and throwing them all over the place. Â I had no control and this hasn’t happened for a long time. Â I feel claustrophobic, I feel as if there isn’t enough room to breathe no matter where I go. Â I have no motivation for anything, I don’t want anything. Â I want to give/throw away everything I own and just be bare. Â I wish I wasn’t such a coward and could find the perfect opportunity to end it. Â I have been scarred growing up and my defense mechanism was to lock away my emotions and never let anyone in. […]
elpayasotriste
elpayasotriste
raised with family of lower intelligence. Outcast all of my life. Father injured when I was young, mother doesn't like to work. Had to support family when I was younger. I'm ugly, in the military, make a decent paycheck, I find no interest in life. Women are afraid of me because I look angry all the time, go figure. I like being alone because if I have a nervous breakdown, no one can see how I really feel.
I’m tired of this hocus pocus hogwash mentality that people have with females/male interaction. Â The act of sexual intercourse is viewed with such a “taboo” image that it’s hard to get past the poster of it all. Â I was raised very conservative, going to church daily (as in 7 days a week), raised with the typical Christian “pre-marital sex is bad, drugs are bad, alcohol is bad.” Â Needless to say, that has all gone away, more so as I descend into the pits of hell. Â But one thing still really bothers me. Â The idea of sex. Â It ruins relationships before they even begin! Â I moved […]
My mom barely finished middle school, my dad barely finished high school. Â Most of my family is not very intelligent, the rest are mediocre. Â I have been gifted my entire life, always put ahead of my class because I found everything to be too easy (bear with me, I’m not gloating). Â People would say, “how lucky you are to be so smart!” but I now realize that it wasn’t luck, it was a fucking curse. Â I feel like Dakota Fanning in “I am Sam” when she doesn’t want to become smarter than her dad. Â I hate that my parents are so stupid and so weak […]
There are so many people here that feel exactly like me, almost as if I had written their posts.  Where the fuck are all of you???  I am surrounded by these proletarians that sacrifice their dignity in exchange for a piece of the pie.  How disgusting is that?  I almost don’t believe that these posts aren’t just a figment of my twisted imagination, it doesn’t seem possible that such people like me can exist!  I have to live alone and forego social invites because I cannot suppress the fury that boils within me when I spend a split second with all of the social slaves that […]