eternaldarkness

Life feels so hopeless…

No amount of “journaling,” “yoga,” “going for a walk” makes it better.

Chemicals (caffeine, sugar, alcohol, drugs, etc)- only makes you feel good for a very short bit, then you come back down to reality. And life sucks again.

I guess the better question is- “What Makes it Better?” rather than “What Makes it Feel Better?”

Well damn…And these weren’t even depressed ppl…
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1APXpFebWfk
~1min

~1min

Glad someone out there is finally talking about this shit.

If affirmations worked, MILLIONS of ppl suffering from depression and shit lives wouldn’t still be suffering from depression and shit lives. And if you disagreed with affirmations, you were labeled as “negative” and “not even trying,” as if the solution is there ALL along and you just won’t listen to it, bc we just WANT to stay depressed. Anyone dissenting on the status-quo or established dogma is always treated like shit, like we’re crazy, like we’re just not trying, or we just don’t want to get better. -_-

I’m sure affirmations work for […]

Wouldn’t it be nice to be one of those ppl who’s happy with a life of mediocrity? Some ppl are just fine working 9-5 in a mediocre job, making ok money, not having a deep purpose or meaningful impact on society, not achieving greatness, doesn’t care about finding the perfect partner but is happy with someone who’s just “good enough.” You know those ppl- those who are just happy with “ok.” Or happy enough with “ok.” People who don’t think too much. People who don’t question much, but just accept life for what it is.

Meanwhile, if you are one of […]

hm, Google showed me this a few videos after the George Carlin “Life is Worth Losing” clip. I’m sure it’s 100% coincidental, but it’s interesting this showed up on my feed…

~20s clip

Good ol’ George Carlin. He was WAY ahead of his time. Knew about The Agenda decades before any of us even had any inkling. If only he was alive today…

It’s confirmed, I *AM* cursed.

So the power went out in the whole building. Four units. OFC *MY* unit is the ONLY unit where the power is NOT back on. The other units/floors power went back on immediately. But I’m the only one left with NO power. The rest of the block has power too. Just. Not. Fucking. Me.

And family left. They won’t get back till very late, and even then, it’s unlikely they care to fix it late tonight. So that means no power for all of today and all of tonight. And all morning. […]

I am tired of suffering. I just wish I knew how my life would turn out- I need a crystal ball to see into the future. I want to see if I should just kill myself now and be done with it, or struggle some more and maaaaybe life would be better/worth it at some point.

It seems rather pointless and a waste of time and effort if we try, and life still doesn’t improve. Then we might as well end our suffering now.

with our own depression?

i had wanted to become a therapist a while back, get my PsyD, and thought I’d learn psychology to help myself, and give myself purpose by helping others.

–if you’ve left the profession burnt out, i take it counseling did not help most ppl, nor did it help you lessen your own depression?

i had attended a psych panel and after listening to these apathetic jerks, i decided not to (plus grad school was $$$$ and it wasn’t free). the only one that had a heart and cared was the newest one to the profession. the longer someone was a […]

What if we’re not good enough?
What if we’re not strong enough?
Not confident enough?
WEAK.

What if we just can’t make good decisions anymore?

What if the reason we’re depressed is bc we’re too chickenshit- not confident enough and not brave enough, to go do what we should do? Whether it’s expatting overseas by myself, despite being sick and disabled and alone. Or maybe in your case not confident enough to ask a girl out on a date. Or insert any thing we haven’t done due to lack of confidence.

There’s many reasons for my depression but the biggest one is on […]

It seems those who are depressed are masters of self destruction. That apparently goes for me and I gather for some of you here as well.

First by being passive: depressed = no energy and no oomph to go after things / make changes / do stuff that improves one’s life. Now, it’s not that we want to be depressed, that’s just the nature of depression. When you don’t have the will to live nor the anticipation of a rainbow and a better life, one doesn’t have the will to push through to make the changes one needs to improve one’s life.

Then you […]

There is no such thing as hitting “rock bottom.” That’s a lie told to us so we can be “okay” with where we are, it’s ok bc after all, if we’ve hit “rock bottom,” things only get better from here, right? Well no, bc there is no rock bottom. However bad you think you are, things can and often get worse.

You think you’ve hit the worst moment in your life? Nah. Wait a few months or a few years. You’ll hit a low and lower over and over again. Until you hit the final “low.” […]

is the biggest joke. That’s like saying drinking salty sea water will keep you hydrated.

We don’t even have democracy in our own country- haven’t had it since the 1980s. And yet we are “spreading democracy” around the globe, or at least that’s the lie told to Americans and most Americans believe it!! When in reality, what the US is doing is destabilizing countries around the world to steal their natural resources.

Anyhow, going back to American soil- America hasn’t had real democracy since 1980- our government has been completely bought and rigged by the oligarchy for a LONG time now.

This is […]

WHY in fucking September is it still 94 fucking degrees? For the past 4 fucking months, it’s been blisteringly hot and humid and disgusting. Sweat dripping literally 10s after you step outside.

THEN in a week, it goes from hot, sweltering summer 90s weather, to suddenly being cold, so cold that you now need a fucking jacket during the morning and nights. A week ago you sweated through your tank top and shorts!

And HOW is it possible for it to be both HUMID and COLD? WTF?
The temperature has dropped significantly during the morning and night, and it’s quite chilly now, but […]

Why is it that some ppl have to suffer so much while others have it made, without having done anything to deserve it? Some ppl win the birth lotto- 99% of your life is determined by who you’re born to and where. Who your parents are and how much wealth they have (or not) 100% determines your fate. If you were born in Africa, you’d be screwed (yes i know, not all parts of Africa are bad off). If your parents were selfish assholes and never treated you well since a baby, well, you’re in for a lifetime of mental issues/depression/trauma, […]

So the short version is this:

I was in a guild in this money-sucking game.

1- The Guild Master and the top SIX members left suddenly, without warning and without notice. Basically dooming the guild and everyone that was left.
2- So I joined another guild. That guild kicked me out after like less than hour. I ofc hadn’t done anything. No decency to even message me as to why I was kicked out.
3- So I joined another guild but that guild was a baby guild and there’s no one on my level to do Adventures with.
4- So I left and […]

The stereotype of the old crochety senior citizen is true- I’m now “middle age” but the older I get, the more people and things annoy me. And the less I patience I have with humans and things in this world.

1. Crying babies / screaming toddlers / unruly little shits
Holy shit- I can’t take the screaming little brats. I just wish I could go and smack them. *whack!* lol I swear, kids were MUCH better behaved when I was younger. Previous generations smacked their kids if they misbehaved or were […]