I know a lot of people here probably wonder how many people follow through with their plans, I am one of the ones who did not. I like to think of my self as the old man on the block yelling at kids to get off his lawn, a ‘back in my day’ esque thing. I doubt the people I had once known are here anymore but here I am, proud member of the ‘fuck this shit’ club since 2009. I’m back to complain of the recent hardships I face, which let’s face it are not important and quite frankly not worth fretting over. Now […]
Sunny yesterday my life was filled with rain.
I have given up to the point of no return, I can’t get out of bed, I don’t go to school, I don’t do anything but sit on my lazy ass all day. My dad has decided to not pay for post secondary, he however will pay me back for every semester I pass , that seems fair to me, it makes for a better excuse as to why I don’t want to go, it’ll be because I’m “saving up “. Im so content with mediocrity  it’s pathetic I don’t want to strive for anything better i just […]
“What’s the most disappointing moment of your life?”
“Waking up the next day.”
“Yeah man I know what you mean could have definitely used that extra half hour of sleep this morning.”
You don’t understandÂ
I’m alone. I’m under the impression that everyone hates me and so I isolate myself as to avoid annoying them. I don’t know how many people actually hate me but to me it feels like everyone. Yesterday I was home alone for the entire day. I mustve been numb because there where tears running down my face all day. The thought of making those two final red marks down my arms made me feel so happy. My skin began to itch with want and need. I imagined dragging a knife down my arms, somewhere where they wouldn’t find me. Alone. I just want to go. […]
I’ve decided to bore you all with a day of my life to see if anyone can relate to having “a good life” and thus having no reason to feel so bad all the time. Let me save you some time and summarize: whine, whine, whine, *****, complain, I hate everything, my friend tried to kill herself.
BAM. just saved you oodles of time.
It’s 6am. I’m tired, already tired and the day hasn’t even started for me yet. I couldn’t sleep last night, just like most nights, and stayed up until 1. I put on clothes, they could be any clothes really, they could be […]
I’m seriously considering suicide. I have a long weekend coming up, I might find an empty field or something, neutral territory. Maybe I’ll even get the boy I like to come with me, we both have the same idea. I’d just need to write a note… Im actually a little excited by the thought…
Hello Again,
I haven’t been here in a while, or maybe I have. I’m having issues telling how much time has passed. But same as always, I still want to kill myself (no shit sherlock). Something new though is my ability to be incredibly happy one minute and holy shit kill me now the next. Something old is cutting but it’s much worse then when I started last year. I’ve stopped cutting but once again I could not tell you for how long because I apparently can not tell you if it’s been a day or a week that has gone by. I think it’s […]
(And yes I am aware that the term is “bleeding”)
At least the cuts are easier to hide this time, they’re on my legs not my arms……. won’t make that mistake again…….. how was your guys’s day?
Well this would’ve have been my one year free of cutting. They’re small but deep. They’re bleeding quite a bit. I hope this is not a reaccuring event. I was doing so well……
I never noticed but when you look at comments through dashboard you can see peoples email adresses. Can I email you guys that way? Do you guys care? I’m bored…
I think I might do it Friday. I finally have my note written out. Took me long enough.
I’ve decided that I won’t be able to get better until I tell someone. I need to just tell someone that I’m thinking about suicide all the time. I need someone to be there for me and make sure I have no plans or dates chosen out. Of course that’s in perfect world where people actually care…..
This is just a little message to all of you who think your friends dont care.
A lot of my friends are suicidal and/or depressed. It’s rather torturous I gotta tell you. When you’re trying to help a friend your first thought of the day is never whats for breakfast, I should take a shower, etc. It’s “God I sure hope none of my friends killed themselves last night.” At the end of the day you worry if this will be the last time you ever see your friend. You lay in bed at night thinking “Fuck I sure hope I convinced them lifes worth living” […]
So I doubt many of you remember when I first got here, there’s only one of you who is still alive. Here’s a snippet of my story, like you actually care :P. As I’ve said before I’ve been depressed for a long time but it never really hit me until the 9th grade. That’s when I found SP. That’s when it sort of started. I had googled suicide for whatever reason and ended up here. It took a few months before I actually started an account. After that I started venting, searching for good methods, and cutting/burning. See the thing is that I sorta kept […]
You guys where absolutely right about my friends depression triggering my own. There was this feeling I would get where I would be okay with going home and killing myself. I got that feeling today, I havent felt this way since June. My friend is like a sponge, he just absorbs all the happiness out of me. For example today I was having a particularly slow day, it was only my second class of the day and it felt like the last (fourth, classes are 1 hour 45minutes.) and I was complaining about it when he came up to me and suck it up and […]
Is it possible to think yourself into insanity? I think it would be better if I stopped thinking so much…. Or at all…That would be nice…..
iamwhereasnailhastobe@hotmail.com
Let me Know who you are on SP.
My friend recently told me he wanted to kill himself and after a long logical conversation where I did not encourage him to kill himself or not kill himself he claims that I saved his life. So I began thinking of my own suicidal thoughts and how proud I was of myself for not thinking of killing myself for an entire year a thought struck me. I think about it everyday, it’s just become such a casual thought that I don’t notice it anymore. When I’m driving I think about speeding up and crashing into something, I think about how that would be a great […]
So my parents informed me that they where getting divorced, when they told me my dad came over to hug me then my kinda realized “oh shit that’s what good parents do” and tried to awkwardly hug me as well. Now you’ll notice right away that is incredibly biased. (I think that’s the correct term.) After 22 fucking years of marriage my mom decided she wanted to fuck us all over and divorce my dad. My dad asked me if I saw this coming and I said no but truth is I had thought about it, there marriage wasn’t really going anywhere but it wasn’t […]
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