This is the new thing on this board. They won’t post you’re post unless they review it first. I said something about trump so they didn’t post it. Goodbye Suicide Project. I can’t think of the word. Someone please help me. I think it’s called Fear. You’re trump lovers and I get that but you’re a joke. You should have posted my post but you didn’t do it because I said something against your Dear Leader. I’m never posting on this board again.
Our Dear Leader went on a Twitter rampage again. Imagine if it was George Washington doing this sending messages by horses? “And now that you’ve come back here’s 2 more I want you to deliver.” Then when he gets back “Here’s another one. Deliver it!” The guy would have probably said “Excuse me Mr. President. Can you get your thoughts into one cohesive message? My horse is getting tired.
Tried to post but it didn’t work. “No comments allowed” What does that mean ? I didn’t make a comment. I tried to post.
How sick I am of being human. Always looking to get laid. I know that doesn’t work on this board because a lot of you have the opposite problem. Struggling to pay my property taxes on my tiny house. There’s a candidate named Andrew Yang who advocates giving everyone in America, over 18, $1000 a month. Yes. Do it. That would relieve half of my problems.
My other problems can’t even be described. I don’t like being locked in a body in this 3D environment. The restrictions. I’m one of these people that believe the Universe is teeming with life and other civilizations aren’t restricted by time and space the way we are. One example is time.
There’s a belief that we don’t experience time the way it really is. That past, present and future are all happing at once. Neither you or I can conceive of that but I believe it’s possible. I heard this the other day and it’s exactly how I feel: I feel like I’m 50 yards of Spirit stuffed into 5 and a half feet of body.
Has anyone ever had calcification in your shoulder? Like calcium deposits that build up. I’ve had it in my shoulder blade for six days and this pain ranks with any depression I’ve ever had. It’s a constant sharp pain that doesn’t go away unless I sleep flat on my back and when I get up and move around the pain returns. It’s driving me crazy. I’m going to the emergency room at the hospital tomorrow.
I read on the internet that a radiologist can stick a needle in and wash out the calcium. I’m glad I came across that because I know the alternative is to have an operation where they scrape it off your shoulder and I want to do the thing that’s the least invasive.
I think he went to the monastery to try it out for a month and let the Monks observe him for that month as well. It’s been over a month and I haven’t seen him around. I’m thinking maybe his situation shifted to a better place and he doesn’t want to ruin that by coming back here. I’m also thinking he’s still there and he doesn’t have access to the Internet or he doesn’t have access to this type of board. If you’re reading this and you can respond, I’m sure people would like to hear an update on how you’re doing.
If it didn’t work out and you’re back home more depressed than ever, it would still be a good idea to post here. People on this board are generally friendly and helpful and as you know it feels good to vent all that crap out in a safe place. I’m sure you’d get some feedback because that was an interesting thing you did. I have a couple of questions I’d ask you.
Just want to say something about antidepressants. I’ve been taking them for about 3 weeks now and for the first time in a long time I feel pretty damn good. I know this doesn’t apply to people who have a fucked up external environment. And I know some of you have tried meds and they didn’t work. It’s for people who show up here and say my life is great and I still want to kill myself. That’s a chemical imbalance and you can go to a doctor and get help for that.
If I had one person who was a support system who would invite me to a different part of the country I might pick up and try and start again but I don’t have that. Even if I won the lottery I don’t know if I’d want to stay. I would probably buy a house on a lake but in time even that would fade. Some lives don’t turn out the way you thought and mine is one of them.
I’ve been doing this for decades. A fairly young good looking guy who has this karmic curse where I can’t find a woman. I don’t want to get married but I don’t want to be alone everyday. I’ve simply made the decision that I want to experience life outside of this restrictive 3D environment. I believe people survive physical death and I want to be free of this body.
I believe in a God, just not the judgmental fire and brimstone one. I don’t know why the Universe hasn’t helped me and I can’t help myself. Like I said, some type of karma that I seem to be paying off but after 5 and a half decades I’m calling the debt paid in full. I believe the Universe is teeming with life and there has to be better environments to exit in than this one. There’s no other way of saying it. I need to be free.
I don’t know why God/law of attraction hasn’t helped me but I haven’t received help. My support systems have left me and I can’t seem to help myself. At this point all the fun has gone out of it and I just want to be free. I believe we get answers on the other side and I’m expecting God to say something like “You really stuck it out considering. I think I would have left earlier myself.”