My previous post was about my saving up but, due to recent events… I’m just going to do what I had in mind quite a few months ago… I am going to go out to the woods, take some pain killers, cut myself up(if that doesn’t work) I’m just going to climb up a tree and hang myself… No one will find my body, no one will care, no one will notice…
My life is just a nightmare that will never stop hurting me…
I have to end my pain… once and for all! :'(
Well, the title pretty much says it… I plan on saving up my money to get a gun and end it… maybe even take some pain killers while I’m at it so I don’t feel anymore pain as I pull the trigger…
I’m just sick of everything, I’ve been trying for years to keep going, to find reasons to keep going but, I haven’t had any reason to live in my entire life. No one wants me around, no one would ever miss me… and I’ve been told I should just live for myself but, I’m not like that… I’m not selfish, I can’t even […]
Reasons to ‘opt out’ : no one wants me, no one needs me, I have no purpose, I am hated by my family, every father figure I’ve ever had knew I have to be erased, I’ll never belong anywhere, No one will miss me, I don’t deserve to be called nor classified as human, I don’t deserve to exist, and nothing I do is ever good enough.
Reasons to ‘carry on’ : foolish hope that my poems might get noticed(HIGHLY UNLIKELY!!!) and fear that my 175 poems might get stolen(and that no one will care)
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I should just do the world a favor already and […]
This was probably my 32nd time trying to end my life… and again I failed… I can never seem to fully break the skin enough to do anything. :'( I just want to do because, no one needs me nor wants me around and I have no purpose nor reason to exist anyway…
I still have a few other ways to try before I officially give up on trying to end my life for good… so far I’ve tried, Hanging, burning, cutting, drowning, electrocution, running in rush hour traffic, and beating myself. And I have done all of these things multiple times… š And no one […]
I’m sorry but, I can’t take it anymore… the nightmares get worse, my family seems to enjoy my suffering and online… things just seem to be getting worse, I can’t take it, I have no means of escaping the pain anymore…
I….. I have to end it all tomorrow, final chance for everything and everyone… Not like it’ll matter…. not like any of them will notice… :'( I’m sorry for not being good enough for you, I hope you find happiness, where I failed to provide you hope. :'( Good bye…. forever. :'(
But, please know, I didn’t want to do this to you, I’m not ending […]
I should end my life, tomorrow’s the big day after all… No one will miss me, no one will care, Tomorrow is the only day I’ll have to myself, NO ONE WILL TAKE IT AWAY!
Tomorrow, I die!
Sliced wrists, Downed pills, and a rope around my neck! I’m making sure I die this time! GOOD BYE FOREVER YOU HEARTLESS MONSTERS OF THE WORLD!!!
I simply don’t know how to feel about this anymore… I’ve been planning this for nearly a month now… And now that my time has come, I don’t know if I”m ready… no one from my family would miss me, none of them even care about me. If anything, they hate everything about me, from the sound of my voice to the fact that I exist. I’ve already tried countless times before, why is it that this time seems so much more difficult… I don’t know whats wrong with me anymore… it doesn’t matter though, because, this time I’ve planned the whole thing out, and […]
For nearly a month now, I have lost so many things in a matter of seconds, I never have time to cope with any of it, and I just can’t take the pain anymore as well… Seems like for as long as I can remember all I’ve gotten to feel is pain, pain, pain and more pain… Endless, never ending and unrelenting amounts of pain… It just never stops… it just keeps growing and growing, like an ocean that expands over the land, swallowing all in its path.
There just doesn’t seem to be any reason for me to exist at all anymore, no one wants […]
Dear,
Whomever is reading this, I have planned out my demise for nearly a month now, it took careful planning as well and I may add more to it, just to be sure. I cannot fail this time! I already have the items required to finally end my pain, forever. You, the reader of this final note of my existence will know, that I have not only hung myself but, have slashed my arms and drank some pills. I wanted to be sure of my demise. My reason for my untimely death is the pain that I couldn’t handle anymore.
For you see, ever since […]
Throughout my life I have been hated,
despite my efforts of approval of others.
Pushing myself beyond my limitations,
it was never enough, not even for my parents.
Abused, and bullied, I was never loved nor needed.
Rented to mental hospitals,
only to be tortured and experimented on.
No memories of happiness are inside my head,
only frequent reminders of hate.
No friends or moments of joy nor compassion.
Nothing to live for, no hope, no dreams, no desires.
I have nothing in my wake and even in my sleep,
the nightmares are there to hurt me more.
I end my life on this promising […]
I have tried endlessly,
failing constantly.
I am a disappointment to my family,
a terrible failure.
No matter how hard I try,
it’s never enough.
I punish myself constantly pushing further,
and still not approved.
I have endured a great deal of suffering,
to please my family,
and still not enough.
Having been burned, bruised, and strictly damaged,
all in the name of making them happy.
But, it is never enough for those fiends.
They take whatever they can out of me,
drain me till I am weakened and broken.
Just to destroy me more,
They have no heart towards me.
Caring not of what […]
Dysfunctional in modern society, I do not belong anywhere.
Darkness has consumed my outlook on life,
and I cannot see any hope.
Despair has taken a liking to me, causing pain inside my being.
The suffering tortures me as it flows in my veins,
damaging every molecule and fiber of my existence.
Twitches are the result,
along with violent tremors,
all of which are noticeable.
Names are called upon me,
strong and power they pierce my feelings.
Making my emotions bleed in the shadows of torture.
Endlessly I hope for an end, but no one stops.
Like walking on pins and needles,
there is no […]
I’m sick of feeling nothing but pain… Tired of feeling the pain flow inside my head, echoing voices of a constant repeat of words of sharpened steel that have pierced my heart.
I am unwanted in this world, I am hated by many, and have no purpose in this life… I need to be erased, for I am… nothing more than a mistake!
Chased down like a deer during hunting season,
I’ve outran them before.
Having moved to a new town,
to start a new life,
quickly shifted back to the old ways.
With the same rules,
and new means of being bullied.
Their words pierce, stab and cut me.
Battered and bruised my mind is,
thanks to the poison they’ve struck my soul with.
The void in my soul buries deeper each day,
even though I am older now.
I learned to adapt to the pain but, it still hurts me.
Their words return constantly,
reminding me of how worthless I am.
Suicide attempts were an outlet,
My first memory was when I was three, I was in a store and running from my father, I had this little pony tail, and my dad grabbed it and pulled me back, slamming the back of my head onto the ground. I donāt remember anything after thatā¦ and then the next memory I remember is when I was at this āMental Hospitalā I was about 5 years old, and had just woken up inside this room, there was no padding, there was a vinyl floor, everything was white or close to it, there was no toilet, no sink, no bed, no cot, no pillow, […]
I tried being perfect for everyone but, always fell short, nothing I did was ever enough, even when I’d drive myself beyond insanity trying to be perfect, it just was never enough. I started realizing that no one will ever love me thanks to my mom having had abandoned me to face my overly abusive father alone, unwanted, and always getting used as a punching bag, I hated myself more and more because, I believed that my suffering was punishment from god, for things I have done and will do. And after years of my father beating into my skull that it was my fault […]