I just hope you still love me
After all of the catastrophe
We were once companions, I believe
I never thought I would cause you to grieve
I miss you, and I love you
I just hope you love me too
I remember the mornings you came […]
We listen to objectively vulgar, demeaning, and strange music. The lyrics hold meaning that are not widely accepted by society. To me, and I’m sure plenty of other teenagers, the lyrics hold a different meaning. Those who know serious emotional and psychological struggle see those lyrics as refreshing, and symbolizing an encouragement intended to help deal with the struggle. That’s how I see it, anyways. Opinions are like anuses.My generation astounds me, negatively and positively. They act out particular behaviors that are cliche for a teenager, but these “punks” are still human beings. They have the same brain every other human has; only teenager brain’s […]
I can hardly place these thoughts into words, into sentences. I am incapable of being happy with a free education, food, home, clothes, and people all around wanting to take care of me. I am not abused, not regularly anyways. A text from my mom sometimes: I must b a total loser since u stay with Mike. Mike is my father, but far from a winner. If this child game is nothing but who wins and who doesn’t, I’d suggest that they are the ones in need of extensive therapy. Not me, I’m their child, they spawned me out of their supposed love. Raised […]
I’m held back from “doing the deed”. It’s innate and external factors, I believe. There is a part of me that has ceased to care about either. I acknowledge them, but I push the deep thoughts away. I want to leave.
My reasons for staying are limited. I don’t know what will come next for me in life. Sure, I can create my future to be absolutely amazing, and carry it through with some serious will-power and ambition. Ambition…..I can grasp it and never let it go, if I chose to. Why am I not choosing to? I don’t care about myself, apparently. I’m looking for […]
I’m sick in my mental, terminal
Lost in my heart, where to start
There is no beginning, head is spinning
I feel reckless, I feel emptiness
I don’t want this to leave, I want to grieve
Break me, take me
Hate me, wait for me
Don’t leave, there’s more to achieve
This shit is fucked for days, months
I’m stuck in this haze
Where are you
Don’t tell me we’re through
Come get me, don’t forget me
Steal me from this hell, destroy my jail
Let’s both be insane, let’s both release our pain
I feel the angst and the stress, but I do not want it to go. I want it to fester, I want it to grow. I want you to see the blackness’ magnitude, I want you to create a fued. Hit me in my face, uncover my disgrace. Slash my back, peel my flesh. See my pain fresh? I want you to hate me, I want you to confront my differences. Numb my senses, forget the expenses. I have, long ago. I forgot what it feels like to glow. What it feels like to grow, but I do know what it feels like to blow. […]
Heart, honor, respect. Kendrick Lamar is the most influential artist that has ever been in my life. His words have a correlation with what I was taught at a younger age, but they blend, mix, and bend with new ideas and concepts. His lyrics inspire me to continue to fight against forces that try and sometimes success in breaking my mind, spirit, and heart. I really hope to see him live one day.
As of right now, I’m kind of numb and have lost something along this path I’m on. If my mind isn’t playing games with me, I believe I’ve lost indifference to certain objects […]
You are the ocean. So beautiful and blue, secreting so many mysteries and memories. I see you and my heart flutters and grows with sugar adoration. We travel along the path to reach the destination of our dreams. My heart grows tired and cold during the travel, because it is as if the ocean gets more and more tumultuous. The dysfunctional waves collide and fill with a force unbeknownst to me; my fragile mind. As the destination of our dreams draws closer, motivation created by the light and perfection surges through my mind and my body, and I become aggressive. I fight with everything I […]
I look around sometimes and see nothing. Literally nothing. No people, no love, no humanity.
But what are they to me? I am in the same society as them, they who are nothing, but I can escape that mentally. They don’t own any part of me, and never will. This is my life, my body, my thoughts, my feelings, my beliefs. “You can play a role in my life but not the lead.” -Lil Wayne
I look around sometimes and get really depressed because of all the nothing, sometimes. It’s all just black, and I get the feeling of escaping it in a very taboo and ‘crazy’ […]
It never ceases to blow my fucking mind every time a thought of you goes through my head. Everything you ever said haunts me and really, really hurts. I think I actually know what hate feels like now. How could I ever forgive you for this?
I’m not going to waste my time on idiots, moochers, degrading, controlling, manipulative, sons of bitches. I’m tired of those people and what they tend to put me through. They constantly drag me down, throw a guilt trip or 12, and feed off all of the energy saved up inside of my body, my mind, and my spirit. I’m doing me from here on out, and I don’t give two fucks what anyone has to say about it.
Mind games are useless, and no longer am I going to play them or have them played against me. It’s so disgusting, and makes me feel so dark […]
-Jamie
I’m out on the beach, and it’s really crowded. There’s at least 3 feet of space between myself and other beach bums. It’s really hot and sticky out there. There’s not a single cloud in the sky, besides a few swipes and swirls of cloud matter here and there. My hair is a knotty and matted mess from the sea water and all of the wind, and I’m trying my best to relax and let go of all the tension in my head. It’s hard to though, because not only am I uncomfortable in my black bathing suit, but I have a sort of paranoia […]
I scare myself with these thoughts. I don’t want to hurt anyone…I can’t. I don’t have that in me. But what I do have in me is the sincere yearning to hurt myself, even to die. I want to disintegrate into nothing and be gone from everything. I don’t want to feel this way. I have so much to love, so much that could hold me here on Earth and keep me from going 6 feet under. But this feeling keeps me from thinking about those things which I love when I get this way.
My little brother is 13. He’s so wonderful. I would do […]
I’d rather not become the enemy they make me out to be, like I was previously taught. I’d rather be me, and be one of the most humane, generous, caring, and considerate people you know. I want to be remembered for these traits, not something vile, rebellious, and purely dark. I want to be the light. Do I have to be a Christian in order to genuinely possess these traits? I’m tired of expectations and not knowing the truth. Someone please give me insight on the so-called ‘afterlife’. I need to know.
I’m tired of such hypocrites and judgmental individuals. I have made mistakes in my life, I’ve done some screwed up shit. But guess what? SO HAVE YOU. There’s no reason to act as if you are a saint. It’s ridiculous.
I’m tired of drama. No one cares about your life. That’s one concept that nearly ALL of humanity cannot seem to grasp. The only reason they would care about or even acknowledge your life is if there were DRAMA. Doesn’t that kind of seem like a freak show? Like the audience (humans around you) are enjoying watching you struggle with some obstacle or watching you completely fuck your […]
The constant movement, struggle, and rotation of the world sets my mind ablaze. The constant parade of our society shouting demands from all people of all ages to look like this, talk like this, dress like this, believe in this, support this; if not, you’re nothing. How sweet is that…?
The neverending battle between good and evil, which has an invisible origin, kills my nerves every day. It’s like it makes me paranoid, asking myself constantly, “Am I believing in the right God?”, “Am I acting like I’m supposed to in order to be a member of this spiritual group/organization?”…..thoughts of ‘not being good enough’ or […]
Everyone has heard of the term, ‘teen angst’, or at least you should have heard it before. It’s a period in an adolescent’s teen years where many changes are taking place all at once, and it may cause some strange side effects. Depression, withdrawal from family and even friends, ‘out there’ ways of style, and very volatile behavior. These ‘strange’ things happen because of the unbalanced hormones in the teen’s body that are trying to get balanced, preparing them for adulthood.
I am 15 years of age, 16 on July 22nd. I was prescribed Prozac last year around the beginning of June. Now, if my ‘depression’ were to be stemming from teen angst, like many […]
So many words and feelings in my chest….it hurts to try and push them out. I feel so sick and volatile. I just wish I could scream at everyone around me and burst into a million useless pieces. I keep thinking you’re here, when you’re gone into a forever I’m not capable of really knowing. I wish I could forget, and wash away with the roadkill.
I want to escape this pain so bad, all of this darkness that overwhelms me. I wish I could be free from these chains of regret, remorse, major depression, and saturated loneliness. I can’t commit suicide, which hurts even worse. My family […]
Rip currents choking me constantly. No matter the amount of pot smoked, or the amount of Prozac consumed. Torturous and stabbing thoughts barge into my mind and kill the newborn happiness and peace with their burning hot swords. The pain is sour, hot, liquid fire. It erodes the walls of my mind that act as a nursery to the best parts of me; the healthy parts of me. Trying with all of it’s might not to tumble over and lose the battle, the walls of my mind rattle and shake to stay erect and guard over my inner happiness. It sends shock waves down my […]
Newer Posts