So I made the noose today and hung it in my outside storage. So whenever I’m ready and I feel the urge… I’ve been cutting and purging for the last few days… it seems to help for a moment but not completely. I’ve been in the hospital twice and I go to therapy wkly and am on an antidepressant but I don’t remember a time when my depression and thoughts have honestly been this bad. I dunno how to control my emotions… I’ve been diagnoised with borderlin personality disorder and am very embarressed by what I’m going thru. I dunno if it will be tonite, […]
I’ve been in the hospital twice in less than a month and tried to commit suicide 3 times… and the last 2 days I’ve been back in bed with hardly any contact from anyone and I’m not going to contact people and be a burden to them but honestly I’m going crazy… and afraid it won’t be too much longer… I just want to die, but I guess its my fault b.c. I’m posting positive sayings on facebook like I’m excited to see what God has for my future. My mom has asked for my schedule but I don’t want to deal with her because […]
So in the last month I’ve tried to commit suicide three times and have been in the hospital twice. I admitted myself and was there for 72 hrs the first time which didn’t help at all.. the second time they really tried to help and it did for a day or so. They diagnoised me as being Borderline Personality Disorder and honestly I can really see that in myself but now that I’ve studied it and see what I really am it brings me down even more. And I’ve hid all these deep feelings even the thought of being suicidal for over 15 yrs but […]
So here is what is up. I’ve been in the hospital for a few days, I’ve seen sum doctors and a therapist. I went to my new therpist and doctor today and had very good results. . They kno that the feelings and the depression has been caused by all the nuro/seizure/brain issues I’ve had all my life. Plus all the meds I have taken. They are also believing the auras I’ve been having are silent seizures, which scares me so please keep me in ur prayers.. I have a wonderful therapist that is helping me thru sum issues in my life as well as […]
That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done! I just got myself locked up as a prisoner for 3 fucking days… put on a med… it was fucking retarded. My therapist and psycho dr came in each day for like 5 fucking minutes… after 24 hours I signed myself out and they still wouldn’t let me leave. It all was a fucking joke and a fucking lie. So I just started lieing to them and told them I was not suicidal and to leave me the hell alone. I called my doctor a dick b.c. he was being so short with me and being sarcastic. […]
I just got here! Sitting un the ER now… Lord help me! I need this gone… I want to be happen
P.s. If i can do this… Any of you can too!
So I’ve been sitting here at work talking to one of the nurses which is my inspiration with all this. She’s the one who has referred me to the hospital an hour away. (Her son went there) She got a med book out and started looking up warnings and precautions to medications. To tell a little more about myself… when I was a yr and half old I had a high fever which caused a scar tissue on my brain which in return caused me to have really bad seizures. In 2006 I had brain surgery to remove the scar tissue… which I have not […]
I moreless want to write this post to encourage someone else! I’m still battleing suicidual feeling real bad and if that one guy would email me back and tell me he found a gun, id leave work to go put an end to it all… but honestly I’m tired of it all! I really want out! I kno there’s two sides of me speaking. All I kno is if I have another attack like I did the other night I will end up doing it! And really deep inside I just want a peace of mind and true happiness more than anything. So the day […]
I need sumone so bad rite now! It hurts so bad! I can’t stop crying… I need a fucking gun! But if you could read my last post it would be easier to understand.
Okay I have had depression and suicidal thoughts since I was in my mid-teenage yrs. I’ve always blocked it out of my mind and hid it and was in complete denial. I actually started admitting to it about a yr and a half ago, but I’ve started dealing with it in the last month especially in the last week. I was always told by churches that you’ve got power of these things that all you have to do is pray and God will take care of them. Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world. I believe in God […]
Okay I said I wasn’t going to come back to this site but here I am. You ppl seem to be the only ones to understand. I’m in my early 30s and very alone. It sucks so bad but at the same time I push people away. I have these anxiety attacks and deal with depression so it embarresses me to be around anyone but at the same time I can’t handle being alone. I kno makes no sence at all. Its just like now… I lost 3 people just yesterday. Crazy weekend… had the police tracing my fone b.c. I was open to a […]
Hello all. I’m sitting here at my dinning room table weeping so hard. The reason is because I’ve searched intensley on an answer for the last few wks. I’ve talked to people including a therapist, some friends I kno in person, a couple from this site and even my Pastor. I’m 32 and have no relationships. I do everything alone and I can’t fucking take it anymore. I feel most have blocked me out. Let me say I was going to go thru with it last nite but the law got involved sumwat, plus I didn’t have all the supplies I needed. I’m now sitting […]
I’m thinking about starting to cut to see if it will help release the pain like it used to. I used to do it like over 10 yrs ago… I’m sooo much older now. I always think only teenagers do it (not to put down anyone) but I’ve been thinking about starting it back up lately just to see if it helps. Does it really help? The pain has been getting really bad again… been thinking about going thru with suicide and using helium to accomplish this… but gotta make sure a few things are in order first.