Hello all. I’m sitting here at my dinning room table weeping so hard. The reason is because I’ve searched intensley on an answer for the last few wks. I’ve talked to people including a therapist, some friends I kno in person, a couple from this site and even my Pastor. I’m 32 and have no relationships. I do everything alone and I can’t fucking take it anymore. I feel most have blocked me out. Let me say I was going to go thru with it last nite but the law got involved sumwat, plus I didn’t have all the supplies I needed. I’m now sitting here looking at the helium tank and have placed the bag over my head a couple of times. I have had 2 fucking people say I’m doing this shit for attention and honestly that is what is pushing me over the edge… I’m in so much pain, I can’t stop fucking crying. I can’t take anymore of this lonliness… people have asked “what can I do” well fucking promise your not going to JUST be there in the nearly impossible times but your gonna build a damn relationship with me. Once a month or every two wks go shopping, for a walk, go pray together sooo many things… why is that so fucking hard to ask for???? But I’m thinking its time… all I have to do is turn on the tank… and within mins…
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Hi. So I guess the main reason you wish to end your life is because you have no friends? You don’t need friends. People think you need friends to make you happy, but that’s a load of bullshit. The more friends you have, the more problems you’ll have. Learn to be happy being by yourself.
I’ve fucking done that… its pure lonliness… and I don’t give a fuck what anyone says everyone has to have human contact with others…
I wish I knew what to say to you..
So I guess I’ll go with what I wish someone would say to me if I was in your position right now.
I have no idea who you are and we could be miles away or minuites away from each other but you know what? If you did take your life, it would effect me. If you don’t post anymore I’d assume the worst and think about how sad it is.. A complete stranger will feel sadness by you leaving this world. That’s pretty deep. This site may no solve your problems but it helps you get through the day when nothing else can. Just try and hang in there a little longer.
Then try making some new friends. It sounds like your current friends don’t really like you that much.
I’ve tried the method your thinking about and I kept pulling the bag off. I’m replying and you may already be dead.
I’m thinking about ending it also, it is so hard to end physical life when the real desire is to have something worth living for.
I agree Caucajun. And ItsJustMe, of course you feel the need for human contact and companionship! I understand that. I’m often lonely too, but I also knowingly push people away and distance myself from them because I’m too sensitive and want to avoid the pain involved in letting people close.
You do have a caring job. Surely you can find some meaning and purpose from that? You have your faith, ditto.
Please don’t give up. What you say is right for me too. A lot of us can relate. We don’t truly want to die, we want to find meaning, purpose and joy in our lives!! We just don’t want the same old same old. Thinking of you…your story truly touches me. Z x