Hello guys! I haven’t used this website in 2 years and seeing my older posts are quite a strange experience. I came here in 2014 because isolation and depression pushed me to the edge, rock bottom, or whatever. Started feeling depressed 10 years ago! It’s my Sadniversary and I thew up my birthday cake. My birthday was wednesday and I had a violent indigestion, because why the hell not. Well this feeling persists, yet again. The reason I’m here today is because even if I do feel this pain, this need to die, this very heavy weight of self shame and being worthless, it is […]
I’ve been using this hotline called Listeners. it’s an app you can download on your phone and you can call a Listener any time you want. It’s 100% free, it needs internet connexion thought but no long distance fee. The people on this are professionals with diplomas in psychology and they are paid. They are so nice and caring they really want to listen to you and help. I’ve made a friend with one of them. When you hang up you can rate them and they will then appear on your page so you can call them specifically when they are online. It’s only […]
This f*cking sentence… change your attitude. They are not only implying that whatever you are going trough is your fault, but they have not a single parcel of empathy for you. I have had a lot of friends who never seemed to take me seriously and told me this shit. They think that they are so strong for not being like you, like they do right in life and you are only there in pain because you want to. You genuinely decide to suffer and be “negative” and cut yourself from the wonderful beauty of life.. yeah sorry to see things as they are. They […]
Does what I will describe ever happened or is happening to you?
At first of my depression, I was of course sad, hopeless, and in great pain. But as the years go, I keep those feel but it’s becoming more and more twisted. I feel this anger growing and I feel like in those moments I really am dangerous. I’m not a bad person but I can’t stand any more of the injustices, of people like us living one foot in the grave while other people have it all easy and painless. Laughing doesn’t feel sincere, it’s always with a part of bitterness. I can’t feel […]
At 12 when I did my first depression, I really wanted to die so badly. Then I found that what I really wanted in life was love. Everything I ever did what for that goal and it’s the only thing that makes me happy. The only thing that could keep me alive, the only thing that would make my life worth living. So yea, I needed to be loved and didn’t try to kill myself, it was some kind of a second chance I thought. Second chance… for what? to feel even more miserable, hurt and dead inside? The only thing that keeps me alive […]
I’m writing it all because I need it, I know you’re the only people who could understand on this site.
It’s funny how much it takes to suffer a living hell to understand what life really is. How happy people with everything you want doesn’t know shit about life and just tell you to be positive. I was a normal kid, average happy with nice family and a best friends in the ‘popular’ girls you know. In 6th grade my friends were leaving me one by one and the next year I would be entering high school alone. In this summer I discovered I was […]