Does what I will describe ever happened or is happening to you?
At first of my depression, I was of course sad, hopeless, and in great pain. But as the years go, I keep those feel but it’s becoming more and more twisted. I feel this anger growing and I feel like in those moments I really am dangerous. I’m not a bad person but I can’t stand any more of the injustices, of people like us living one foot in the grave while other people have it all easy and painless. Laughing doesn’t feel sincere, it’s always with a part of bitterness. I can’t feel happy for my friends when they have nice things anymore. I’m often told that I shouldn’t be such a negative person well fuck that I’m not. I’m realistic. I feel angry at everyone cause they don’t understand I wish everybody would live like us just for a year and maybe after we will be seen as warriors, not “whining pussies/faggots/teen”. Gosh I hate them. I’m such a nice person, always devoted, caring, and I will always be there for the people I love, but on the other hand I’m this angry monster that would just want to battle this goddamn bullshit of life. The only thing I would need is to be with someone I love and not having the life taking it always from me when I get close to get it. I don’t want to die, I want to share love. But I prefer to be dead than living 70-90 years like this.