i started hallucinating about 4 days ago. Â i also have a voice in my head. i fight with it a lot. it tells me everything it hates about me, about how i don’t deserve to be happy no matter how much i wish i was.. and it hurts. i used to say those things to myself, and now a part of me got cut off and just lives in my head. i’ll have a good time with my friends, and it will tell me not to smile because my smile is ugly. i’ll put makeup on and it will tell me nothing can fix my […]
almost every day now, i think about suicide. when i shower, i black out, grab something sharp and just start cutting. i don’t really know why i’m doing it other than my list of disorders. i haven’t cut since 7th grade. i’m in high school now and i started again about a week ago. whether i’m depressed or not when it happens, i do it anyways. everyone except my family can see, i don’t care.. but i just like looking at them. not because i think they look cool or make me cool, it just makes me feel better to know that i tried fighting […]
i don’t even know why i’m on here. it’s not like people want to know about me anyways, but ohkay. i’m cat and i turn 15 in november. i’ve been suffering with OCD, depression, anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). the body dysmorphic disorder is the worst because i got homeschooled because of it. i would sit there and stare at myself for hours and cry when i should be getting ready. i would punch myself in the face or wrists and pull my hair or skin. i started out just being constantly late to school, but now i’m so afraid of people seeing me […]