I’ve been close to the edge before, or at least felt it begin to close in on me.. At which point I would try to find some stronghold to pull myself back from. But right now, at this very second, I’m finding it hard to have any reason to stay. There is nothing left for me. There’s too much going on, but at the same time there’s nothing going on. Right now, a way out seems like the only viable option. The only good and reasonable option. The only option, really. I just can’t do it anymore, I simply can’t, and I don’t know if […]
i liked this quote. I like Edgar Allen Poe. So here it is. It has no reference in particular; I just read some of his work today and it stuck in my mind.
it’s been months since my last post on here – good news I guess. But now I’m back – bad new now, I guess. Everything’s been okay-ish. I was recently re-admitted to hospital for abdominal pains, had another operation and I’m out again, for now anyways. Now, surely, when you’re in hospital, your ‘other half’ shall we say should want to see you, correct? Or at least want to talk to you, if […]
I haven’t been on sp for a few weeks now. Not because I didn’t feel like I needed to; I did. I just couldn’t find the words I needed to let out. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it.
Admittedly, I did have a setback a few days ago… I tried to kill myself. I’d say I got to the point where one more push would have sent me over the edge, literally, but I didn’t do it. Just at that moment – by whatever sort of force of coincidence it was – I received a text from my grandma of all […]
The title above is a quote by Edgar Allan Poe – one of my favourite writers, and if you haven’t read any of his works yet I highly recommend it!
Ive been reading through his Complete Tales and Poems recently and honestly I’ve never enjoyed myself more. His writing is beautiful, and the words come alive as you read them.
Anyways, the point of this little note is to say that Hell is already in the world in humanity itself. It is a tragic thing but it is logical in the sense that humanity is the worst and best thing to happen in this planet; so corruption […]
I think this has to be one of my favourite quotes (not of my own creation, but well-liked all the same).
Rather than believing in the typical meaning behind this quote that just because you grow older and ‘wiser’, it does not mean that you will also mature in body, mind and soul; I personally interpretated this quote, due to my own experiences etc., as saying that sometimes no matter how hard you try for a period of time – whether it’s a few days or a few years -, your mind will never change. I suppose this could be passed as ignorance but that is […]
A friend of mine recently said to me ‘ you’re the author of your own life’ and my response was the title of this post. It’s true. It’s similar to the saying ‘men are masters of their own fate’ I suppose.
To make my recent downward spiral more persistent is the recent events involving my boyfriend of almost 1 year cheating on me with someone who used to be a good friend of mine, talk about ironic since she’s supposed to be in a relationship with my boyfriends best friend.. They insisted on lying but the truth always reveals itself eventually. Ha.
Anyways, apart from the usual […]
I doubt I posted often enough previously for anyone to have taken notice that I haven’t posted anything for some time now… The simple explanation is that I did not feel the need to. Every negative feeling for some reason subsided for a while, I was happy-ish. My boyfriend and I were getting along well, I finally managed to fit in amongst decent people.. Then I got admitted to hospital.
For physical reasons only was I admitted for three weeks, which took its toll I suppose. I was discharged a few days ago and honestly I’ve never felt worse. My boyfriend has decided once again to […]
So I managed to stay the whole day at school today, which made it a promising day. What was bad was what came after it.
I don’t know if it’s just me causing all of these problems in my relationship or if it’s naturally strenuous because of how me and my boyfriend are. Regardless, I got pretty upset today. To cut a very long, ongoin story/conversation short; I don’t believe he is making enough effort in our relationship. We never do anything, and all I’ve asked him is that one night when the majority of people aren’t there if we just take a walk down to […]
Hello,
So today was a pretty bad day for me. I got sent home from school because I couldn’t stop crying. Well, I told them the reason was because of a bad headache, but in reality I just couldn’t find the strength to get through the day. The thought of walking around and talking to people who I know don’t like me, the thought of simply being somewhere I don’t belong scared me. So I cried. I continued to do so until I got home where I finally slept. But my dreams were simply filled with horrific scenarios which I dare not repeat for thought of […]
I’ve just realised how vague my previous post was, which may delay the process in receiving some form of helpful reply.
Ill try to put into words this feeling.
I can’t do anything right. No matter what I say or do or how I look. The phrase “no-once cares unless you’re pretty or dying” comes to mind. Of which only one applies to me, and I can certainly say that my appearance has had no positive impact on my life. I feel empty but at the same time I feel nothing, so really the question is – do I really feel anything at all? Am I forcing […]
I thought by coming across a site like this would enable me to actually be able to rant about something, anything, so that my mind would be clear for a moment. But sitting here, typing this out, I’m struggling with how to put into words something which might catch someone’s attention who may be going through something similar. Someone I can relate to. The majority of people on here I suppose will all have similar background stories or specific tragedies which crossover with someone else’s, and so a relationship forms as these crossover people discover each other and help. My issue is; despite knowing the […]