i liked this quote. I like Edgar Allen Poe. So here it is. It has no reference in particular; I just read some of his work today and it stuck in my mind.
it’s been months since my last post on here – good news I guess. But now I’m back – bad new now, I guess. Everything’s been okay-ish. I was recently re-admitted to hospital for abdominal pains, had another operation and I’m out again, for now anyways. Now, surely, when you’re in hospital, your ‘other half’ shall we say should want to see you, correct? Or at least want to talk to you, if nothing else than to check in once a day to make sure you’re okay so as to not bother you; am I wrong? If I am, then I certainly don’t want to be right. I cannot be the only person to think that I should just be ignored by my so called ‘other half’ when I got damn rushed to hospital. I think I can count on one hand how many times he texted me. I told him visiting hours and he never came. He never called. The day I got out he didn’t even want to see me (coincidently on the day FIFA 16 was released – I’m not one to complain about his tendency to prioritise his Xbox over me from time to time, I know he needs his space, but surely after what I’d just been through, you’d think I’d be top of his list of priorities on that particular day). Anyways, today he asked me if he could go to a party. We both got invited a few days ago, I was in hospital so explained why I wasn’t going, and my ‘boyfriend’ never mentioned it. He only mentioned it today; the day it was on, a few hours before it started and after we argued about him not wanting to see me. He saw me for two hours then left so he could go get drunk. I didn’t even get a hug goodbye. I know he waited until the last minute to ‘ask’, though he knew I’d say yes obviously I’m not his babysitter, but it’s the fact he didn’t want to see me and then thought because he did see me today for a couple hours he could go get pissed with all of the shitty people who screwed me over a few months back because ‘they didn’t do anything to him’. That’s another story though. This is a really messed up kind of rant but I just don’t know what to do. The worst part is I don’t know if I care anymore and that’s what I’m most afraid of. If I don’t care then what left is there to care about? There’s more to this story I just can’t get my words out right now, my head feels like a washing machine
also apologies that this post doesn’t have my usual… Candid, expressive thoughts placed neatly into sentences and lines. My head just hurts.
thanks if you read this – let me know if I’m just being too… Possessive or something. Thanks again. Have a nice day
5 comments
You’re not being too anything! It sounds like he’s barely putting any effort into caring for you, appreciating you, showing that he loves you… that’s what relationships are for. I know some people don’t show it in the same way, but I’d be upset in that position. If you’re feeling like you don’t care, it’s probably a kind of coping technique… if you feel like he doesn’t care (though that’s not to say he doesn’t… but sometimes you need to be shown), then it’s only going to hurt if you do. Personally I’d confront him about it. I’m single, but I still think it’s good advice.
Seriously though, I would say it’s best to talk to him about it sooner rather than later… before it makes you really mad or just stop caring entirely. For me, a lot would depend on how he responded. You have a right to feel the way you do. If he cares for you and if he’s mature enough, he’ll try to make you feel better.
Well I feel a little less naggy I guess now… Also *UPDATE*, another girl slept at his house last night too, he told me this morning but said nothing happened so… After all that and then I find this out – what on earth am I supposed to think?
Anyways – I spoke to him today, he was just dismissive and shouted at me for wanting to be with him all the time. He actually wasn’t going to see me today because he needed rest, but I later found out it was because a few of his friends were going to town and he wanted to go too, so I sent a very nice message of course which changed his mind… Which is a start but my god… He was just so ignorant, I’m still waiting for an apology even now. I said I wasn’t even angry anymore, just more sad and upset. I told him that I’m not saying he doesn’t care, but I get worried sometimes and it’s nice just to be reminded once in a while, without prompting, that someone really truly cares for you. But he’s not the type of person to do that anymore, he used to a little but now he thinks because we’ve been together for so long he just doesn’t have to bother. Either that or he just really doesn’t care. I don’t know – he really is confusing…
Thanks for the response anyways 🙂 good to know I’m not the only one to think that way aha
I’m not suggesting that you should just break up with him, but I think you should think seriously about whether you want to be in that kind of relationship long term. He seems to like being with you but it also sounds like he hurts you a lot and he isn’t really trying not to.
Yes, you are being too………….forgiving and accepting of his atrocious behavior. I was in hospital recently for 7 days and I never had a single visitor, but I have nobody in my life but other patients who had partners would be visited mostly twice a day. I think any normal loving partner would be there at least once a day.
Read my comment above – think it overlaps a little bit with my response here aha. I’m sorry you were in hospital though, I hated for the 4 days I was there, I can’t imagine 7, I hope you’ve recovered well now though 🙂 yeah I had my parents occasionally but my boyfriend didn’t even mention seeing me. The day I said I was getting out he said ‘cool’, and I asked if he wanted to see me and he said ‘no’. Which pretty much sums up our relationship I fuink; no effort and dismissive was from him, hurt and tears from me… On the joy aha
Thanks for the response anyways 🙂