I just got into my goddamn second Car Accident. First ine happened in 2016 now i got into another one because the road was wet going down hill i spun and landed in a ditch. Front is fucked. Im depressed and im not hurt but i honestly wish i was dead right now. I hate my life i hate everything.
I did everything right yet I still got screwed over. I did as i was told all throughout my life. Go to school make good grades. I did and was in the top five at my high-school and graduated with small scholarships to college. I graduated and got my associates degree. Had a job at a library then at a laboratory . Well now im 25 no job, still living with my abusive mom. No job, no boyfriend, no house of my own no loving family to help me. Eveeyones all like oh you need to do better oh your So Lazy oh you […]
I’ve been crying for the last fours hours. I just became overwhelmed with such sadness. I’m thinking about killing myself(again) but instead of trying to overdose on Mirtazapine my mind keeps playing the local Bridge. Over and over again on a loop. I keep thinking about the cold cold water. And that it’ll hurt, but then the pain. My pain will finally be over. I tired to die back in 2019.
And I honestly, stupidity thought that It would get better. That my family would treat me better that people would be nicer to me. I thought things would change. But I was WRONG. It Will […]
As the title says everything fucking dies around me or leaves me. When i say everything dies around me i mean EVERYTHING. My cats died, my plants died, objects i come into contact with stoo working. I have a LITERAL animal cemetery in my yard filled with cats, dogs, chicken, ducks, and mice. Things i loved and fed and watered died and NONE due to old age. And any friends or relationships i had just stopped talking to me or just abandon me. Everyone leaves me when i try so hard. Am i cursed? Am i just destained to be alone forever? Why can’t i […]
I had a horrible day today. My niece (12) had lied to her mother, my sister in law about me. Saying that i “made” her mow tge lawn all by herself when I and her little sister helped. ALL three if us at the same time. She was even paid for it yet told a damn lie like it was child slavery. But its not that its the fact i tried to make her happy, free trips to the movies, free symmer camp, bike rides, trip to the water park, getter her free school supplies, ice cream, candy, staying up until 11 or even one […]
I just turned 25. And i font know what to do.
I went to college and go my associates degree in Science and one in Arts. Then i went to a 4 year university and failed and withdrew after one year.
After that i came back home and tried trade school. I got my osha license and a ServSafe certification. I wanted to go back to a new university but i already have debt from the first. Now i got these degrees and certificates yet i still live with my mother and no good job. I feel like ive done nothing with my life. I […]
I’m feeling sad lately. And I don’t know why. I guess it’s because I feel like I wasting time. My life is boring even with so much craziness I go through with people and my family but even so I still feel unmotivated. I’m sad October is almost over. It’s my favorite month. And I feel like I didn’t have fun in it. I didn’t watch enough horror movies, I didn’t eat enough pumpkin stuff, I didn’t watch enough football. I feel like I haven’t done enough. I don’t know how to make myself happy. Nothing makes me happy I feel empty.
Last week after hurricane Zeta come through Alabama and fucked everything up I was cleaning up the house. As per usual. Anyway I was taking out the trash to the trash pile to be burnt when I threw away a brown bag on the floor. Anyway later my **** mom storms into my room and asks me if I’ve seen the bag I said I thought it was trash and burned it then she starts yelling at me and slapping me. Then she goes into my room and throws my stuff out the backdoor. Now my money is gone, the xmas gifts I had are […]
So today my idiotic super religious nut job mom accused me of bullshit i I didn’t do again. And same as always sge didnt let ne me explain anything to her. She just went on and about How Gawd isnt going to bless me because im a lair and I need to get right and blah blah. Which to me is fucking hypocritical coming from this *****, she beat me with a belt naked all the time when i was young over bullshit i didnt do or because i bought home a bad grade. Now that im to old for her to hurt physically she […]
Okay so i recently lost my crappy job at a fish plant, only to get shit on by my so called friend that was “disappointed ” in me. Like its my fault my damn crap Volkswagen broke down. Now im out of a job, no money but just 500 dollars left and im 23 with Two college degrees still living with my mom. I feel like just killing myself again, but i know it wont work. I hate the fact that my parents made me and gave birth KNOWING i would suffer in this world before going to suffer eternity in hell.