LiquidHuman

The first time I tried to cut was in fourth grade.

Kinda weird that it happened when I was nine years old. I say tried, because the blades of the scissors weren’t sharp enough anyway. But it was a fair attempt. Good try, young me.

Anyway. I was in class. Hacking away at my wrist with scissors, not getting anywhere fast, only receiving the most minor scars in the process. I remember this kid looked at me with this odd stunned look. He didn’t like me much (not many did) but the look in his eyes looked like that of concern. Or at least pity. The way […]

I’ve been locking myself away. Haven’t spoken to any of my friends in a month now. I guess I feel like I can’t hurt anyone if I keep myself in a bubble. Me putting myself out there has only caused problems form everyone else. I’m taking steps to make sure I hurt as few people as possible once I finally kill myself. This is one of them.

I know a lot of people are thinking, “why don’t you just do it?” Unfortunately, I’m still living with my family during this pandemic. I don’t want them to have to find my body. The situation will be traumatizing […]

It’s been a while since I posted one of these.

This isn’t going to be one of these “woe is me” posts. I think I’m over posting those. Not because I feel much better, but because it just feels kinda immature and I don’t want to bother people with my problems anymore.

I’m posting this in an effort to get an answer to my questions.

Lately, I’ve started giving to charities. Nowadays, with me barely able to build up the courage to leave the house, giving money and support from a distance is really all I’m capable of doing. People need support anyway they can get after all. […]

So, yeah. Coronavirus is a thing.

And I can safely say that if I get it I’m killing myself right then and there. I’m not doing this to “die with dignity” or any of that shit, because as bad as this shit is, it’s not young healthy people like me who are at risk. It’s people who are older, people with weaker immune systems, or young children who really have it bad. And I don’t want to be the cause of someone’s parents, child, or grandparent getting this thing. And I especially don’t want my family to be exposed to this shit. I’d much rather die […]

But the future doesn’t look too good either.

I’ve been thinking about saving up money to help my parents pay for my funeral. I almost want to write in my suicide nite for them not to bother with one, but I know they’ll probably want some send off for me. Apparently funerals cost from $7000 to $10000 dollars. I figure I’ll save up $7000 for the cost. If they want to waste more money on me, that’s on them. But they shouldn’t have to pay for an event they don’t even want to be at in the first place.

Why’s dying got to be so damn expensive?

Does anyone else feel guilty over things they’ve never done?

I read a post online from a deaf girl who said she was tired of people pretending to know sign language. And I thought “Damn. Well, I feel like a shit person now.” That being said, I’ve never interacted with a deaf person nor have I ever pretended to sign to them. I guess it taps into my debilitating fear of accidentally insulting someone. I hate any kind of conflict, and I’d rather bring a razor to my wrist than bring about any kind of animosity with someone.

I’ve pretty much decided that if I end up […]

So, this is going to sound like a stupid question, but I know I’m not going to get a straight answer if I go to a message board. So here goes.

Is it culturally insensitive for a foreigner to kill themselves in the Aokigahara forest? (I warned you it was stupid.)

So, I’ve always been eerily fascinated in the place. It’s not just because it’s considered “the suicide forest”, but its also just how gorgeous the place is. Apparently, once you enter the forest, the trees and ground are formed in such a way that you can’t even hear anything going on outside. In that sense, you’re […]

Alright. I’ve tried researching this for years now, looking this exact phrase up time and time again since I was in highschool. But I could never find anything. I think that automatically means I’m insane. So be it. I guess that’s something else I’ll as to my list of problems.

I want to preface this by saying, I’m sorry to anyone who is or was abused. I don’t want to make you feel worse about your situation. I know even with this premeditated apology, someone will be thinking “who the fuck does this person think she is.” And You have every right to say that. Because […]