LivingOnBorrowedTime

I cut my arm. It’s pretty deep. I tried to tell somebody earlier but they were busy.

My world’s caving in on me. My friends have become my enemies. Deep down, they wish I’d just kill myself already.

Everything’s clear now. I thought I’d get over this feeling. I feel hopeless.

There are people who have gone through with it and now it’s time. Time for me to get away. Far away from here.

I’m going to make a video. My last video. If I have the guts, I will post it onto here.

I am so scared right now. I’m trying to distract myself.

I’ll never be what everybody else wants me to, therefore I am not good enough.

I’M EMPTY. I HAVE NO HEART. I NEED […]

Everybody assumes that I want to commit suicide for attention. I couldn’t care less about attention. I just feel so lost. And when I do go people will question why I did. It’s a sick world

So close to my death, it’s unreal.

I’m nervous.

Only a few days now.

This is it.

They’ve called my father in for parents’ evening on wednesday. I know what will be happening there. They’ll make me look like a right fool and this teacher will break my trust and tell him about me wanting to die. He’s going to be so disappointed. I guess I’ll have to persuade him not to attend somehow. I am dead. I’ll get locked away because I’ll be considered a danger to myself.

No.No.No.

Kill me, anybody.

Please.

I can’t do it anymore.

Pushing people away is what I’m best at. They’ll be glad to hear of my death. I can’t stand the fact that everybody hates me.

I haven’t thought about methods. Maybe I should think about this. It needs to be a success.

I’m so upset

I saw her. She saw me. She ignored me. She’s sick of helping me. I get it. Now she’ll start avoiding me

All I keep hearing from people is ‘don’t do anything stupid.’ Suicide ISN’T stupid. I just want to die. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is. I think it’s time to cut.

At the moment, I’m thinking about the best way to die in order to affect my family in the least way possible. I just don’t want to hurt them. Maybe I should make it look like an accident? My physical and mental state have accepted the fact that I’m finally ready to go and now it’s just calm. 5 days to change my mind. This is it. I need to make a plan and pray for my wellbeing and for others too.

My sister and I were just discussing our futures. Little does she know that I’ll be dead soon. This made cry. I’m going to ruin my family’s lives because I’m unsatisfied with mine. I feel so low at the moment. I can’t think properly.

It hurts.

All of this.

I can feel that my death is approaching. Is it best to say goodbye to my loved ones or should I leave with no explanation?

I think THIS week is finally the time when I do it and succeed. I can feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. It’s a peaceful thought.

 That is the REAL question.

I am sure that I am ready to kill myself. It will be over before you know it. I’m giving myself a week. I am done. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of breathing. I’m tired of being. I’m tired of living. Most of all, I’m tired of being tired. This world doesn’t need me anymore. I JUST WANT TO DIE. I can’t cry anymore. They’ve ruined me. That is it.