last blood moon till 2033.
It should end in the next 30 minutes. Enjoy!
after spending five minutes in my garage, with the car running do you think I’ve poisoned myself enough or should I sit here till I pass out
I definitely had my share of trials and tribulations last night. I just don’t know how I feel right now. It’s between understanding and numb. Not completely either one, but maybe somewhere in between of them both. I don’t know if I’m handling my emotions or if I’m hanging on to my sanity. Last night was crazy.
I finally got Jordan to come over and get the rest of his things. Of course he was over prideful, over furious at me and too stubborn to listen, he fought me every second I talked. After begging, he agreed he would talk. We sat down and I talked, […]
I call this day one because this is the first day I haven’t cried in a really long time. I’ve come to believe the fact that Jordan will not come back to me. That who ever wrote the quote, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was always yours. And if it doesn’t, it never was; never dated a stubborn, prideful, Army Ranger.
I can admit I fucked up. I completely screwed up our dreams of marriage, happiness and children. I can say, I never cheated, never thought about it and never wanted anything more in my life than […]
My heart is completely broken. Reality is setting in that I am now single and alone. My heart is pounding but my body feels numb. I can’t even eat, it just makes me feel sick. I’m at work right now wondering why the hell I didn’t just kill myself last night. I can’t handle all of these emotions running through my head. I can’t think straight about what I’m going to do with my life. Leaving is a way out of this all and it seems to be the perfect answer. I just want to be held. I want someone to smooth my hair over […]
I would do anything in the world to fall asleep right now & stay in my warm comfy bed. Forever.
Thursday night was suppose to be my last night alone. I was suppose to be so excited I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I was suppose to be freaking out all Friday for the moment I got the message to come open my door. Well it didn’t happen. I doubt it will happen today either. I guess I can play with the dogs sometime today before I drink the night away watching SEC.
Is anyone else on here a Military spouse or SOS?
Its my day off. I woke up too early. I cried in bed for probably an hour. No shame in lying about that. I prayed, and I cried some more. I actually made myself breakfast today. But it happened to be in the after noon when I ate it. So I guess I can consider that brunch. I ate in bed… And have been there all day. It’s the place I feel most comfortable.
I feel very numb today. I feel as if I have given up the hope I was holding onto so dearly. Why? I don’t know. Nothing has changed. I tried to cheer […]
I don’t know how to even begin with how I feel. My heart has been running on overdrive and I’m seriously on E. I can be fine one afternoon or night to turn around and be in agonizing pain the next. My heart literally hurts. I never thought heart break could be so agonizing.
Ive written my goodbye letter. There’s nothing I could say to my family and friends. They wouldn’t understand. They all right now tell me to give it time, leave him alone. I just wish he would talk me down from this ledge I’m on. I’ve called, emailed, texted, Skyped. He ignores me […]
I’ve been at work since seven
I haven’t been able to even think about work clearly, because my mind is reminding me about my relationship
Reminding me of how stupid I am
How being a female, who’s over emotional already, shouldn’t act crazy for attention
How I made the love of my life walk away from me
How I asked him to please come back to me and he told me I was killing him…
but little does he know is that he’s killing me.
I found a box of razor blades.
one cut for every time I’ve called
their not big or deep cuts but they hurt
I’m not good at pain
idk what to […]