Lets just chat…..
I am glad that I don’t want to hurt the people that I wanted to hurt by committing suicide. I’m glad that it’s not about people wondering if they would have or could have said something to change things. I’m happy I don’t have to think about what’s the last song that I’m going to listen to, what’s the last trail that I’m going to walk down, who is the last person that I’m going to see. I’m glad those feelings have left. They hurt my head thinking all those things.
Thank you so much for turning my tears into smiles. Wish it could be that way every night. Hope someone else feels the way I do tonight.
well people found out about me on here. so i haven’t posted in a while. not too much has changed in my thoughts. you know you see the future and hope for the future but you know it won’t be that way. that’s where i am. i don’t ask anyone to be sad for me. i don’t ask anyone to pray for me or care for me. i live my life as it should be, as it was planned to be. i thought that i had it all, or was working on having it all. but that […]
I am just less than 15 hours away from a long awaited back surgery that will finally relive the pain in my leg that I have had since May. 39 minutes ago was supposed to be a different kind of surgery….A self administered death. But here I am thankful that it didn’t happen that way. I have learned that we are blessed with people in our lives and that sometimes we may think those blessings are curses. I see this is not the case anymore. Everything happens only to make us strong and smarter. I have been depressed for so, so […]
…is by DHT -Depressed. Hot song! Happy and kind of haunting in a way. The part of the song that gets me is this..
“Oh God please let me go.
Let me leave my misery.
I’m so tired in my head.”
“Can’t keep on living like this,
’cause I have no life you see.
I shall end my own misery.”
I spend almost every hour, every minute of every day wishing, thinking of how to end all this. I get hairs of hope every now and then and that is what keeps me hanging on. I’m tired, really tired. I know there is nothing left out there for me. But something keeps me thinking that maybe there might be a chance. I watched this documentary on youtube about suicide. They showed a real picture of a guy with a bag over his head that used natural gas to end is life. That picture kind of stuck in my […]
I’m getting closer to the day I have choosen. I didn’t go to my son’s hockey practice because I’m trying to stop seeing people. I just wanna be alone. I gave my life to a girl for almost 20 years and she walked out. Now I gave her plenty of reasons too but at the same time there were issues right from the start. I never really had a wife. I had a roommate. She was more interested in sleeping than spending time with me. She was more interested in reading that spending time with me. […]
Hi every0ne. Kind of new here. At least new to posting here. I have read so much and learned so much and I’m thinking that maybe this might be my last straw. This could be the last place I might find something that can change my mind. I’m 38, soon to be divorced after 16 years of “marriage” and still lonely after so many years. Guess I’ve never been quite right and the one that I thought could help me become someone only wanted to be a “roommate”. I should have left her years and years ago. But I didn’t. I have wanted to die […]