Ahaa… I miss him. :/ He made life seem livable.
Anyone just want to talk? I have email, skype, facebook or maybe even xbox?
Just ask. I’m not a judgemental person and I like to think that I can give some good advice to those in need.
I love talking to you people, Don’t give up.
<3
I wish i could say that i’ve reached my happy ending. I really do.
But no. The depression is as deep as ever and there is a 50/50 chance that i will still be here next week.
I’m no longer with that long distance boyfriend… And now i have some annoying freak telling me that he loves me, when he doesn’t even know me.
This world is fucking strange and i would rather not be a part of it anymore.
Fuck you, Daniel. Fuck you.
<3
So. I’m not dead.
I’m still as depressed as ever, And the ‘voice’ has developed. His name is Daniel. I know what he looks lik, does this make him real?
I have a new boyfriend. It’s long distance but i hope that we can make it work, He’s too amazing to let slip away.
I really don’t know what to say on here anymore. I guess my story is done.
So… Hi Guys :3
I know, It’s been a while. And quite a lot has happened… :/ I don’t know whether or not I have told you that my mental health has gotten worse, But hopefully going to see a doctor about that… Finally get the crazy diagnosis. :/
So, My birthday was good :0 so **** in fact that i decided not to kill myself, If I could I would. Things just got worse after that, I got into a relationship with this guy called Aarron. But in the four days D: that i was with him it made me realize how much I love my […]
Today has been… Crazy.
I heard the voice again… During my english lesson, and I was just… I went crazy. I thought that if I scratched open my hand and revealed this vein I could slit it open and let the voice go… so it would leave me alone. So i just started scratching like mad at my hand, I gave up after a while, Realizing that it wasn’t going to work. I’m stuck like this… And no one can help that.
It’s my birthday tomorrow…
:/
<3.
I’m not telling anyone anything, so it’s ok…
But basically i had never really thought of it before, I see things and hear voices. It’sdeveloped more recently, I see myself. Something has happened to me and i see how people try to help me… And i hear voices. They tell me things. They make scary predicitions.
It usually only happens when i’m alone, rarely when I’m with someone…
What’s wrong with me?
Things couldn’t have turned out better, I have been ill these apst few days and was prescribed pennicillan. But they just make me feel worse so i’m thinking about saving them for tuesday…
I can’t believe how quickly my birthday has came around, The only problem is that my dad is coming down for the day. :/
I want to ask the guys something, For you see whenever I want to stop one of my routines I usually asked a guy if everything would be ok and if it was safe to do so.. But I don’t really have access to my usual suspects. So i would […]
I want your opinion, guys. It’s about relationships… Should there be an age limit on love? I’m asking this because i’m 15, and i met this guy called Josh. He’s amazing and funny and so polite and kind…. And i think i’m falling for him, a little. Trouble is, he’s 20… O.o so i just want to know what you think. I know nothing will probably happen between us though… :/ <3.
I told him, about my thoughts. Naturally he didn’t want me to do it. He just surprised me with his kindness.
So… Anyway. Life is shit. Only 21 days now? sweet, I can’t fucking wait. I’m sick of this life and this family and all of the arguements. My brother is a selfish prick, my sister is a *****, My mum just fucks me off all the time… And my dad. Bless him, trying to help but really, he was just making things worse. He shouldn’t blame himself though. I have found out how to cause bruises! 😀 which is amazing as they are easy to […]
Ever heard that song about teddy bears in the woods having a picnic…?
‘If you go out in the woods today, You’re sure of a big surprise, If you go out into the woods today, You’d better go in disguise’.
I have no idea what that song has to do with this post or even my thoughts, but the song came into my head yesterday evening and has buzzing through my head like a constant bird’s song. And for the minority of the majority of you that are wondering whether or not i still want to kill myself, the answer is yes, i do.
Fuck.
I really want to […]
Today.. was interesting. It was parents evening, so my dad got to meet my teachers :D… Haha… No. It was going alright until we came to my english teacher, Which started off good. She cracked a few jokes, kept making me laugh. Then she turned serious, Saying that she had 2 things she wanted to bring up. 1. I was writing lyrics in the back of my book instead of doing the work… And number 2… Well she turned around and took my book off the window sill saying that she had seen something that was worrying her, at this point I had started to […]
I’ve had enough. I want to do it, sooner rather than later. I woke up today and started crying at the thought of school and OCD and life, I kinda get the feeling that I won’t be waiting for my ‘date’.
What i don’t really understand is that when you tell someone you’re suicidal, they nearly always say ‘Don’t do it, I don’t want you to’ To some people this doesn’t matter because we are so far along in our state of depression that it goes in one ear and out the other, We don’t understand what we are doing to people. It’s like some form […]
I have been telling myself that lately, just to get through each day until my time nears. Today has been… Just terrible. I kept wondering what else could wrong? Most of the time, it went wrong. If I didn’t already have a ‘date’ planned I probably could have gone through with it tonight. I feel so depressed and ill all the time, lately. I hate this…
Damn. That song brings back so many memories. Happy-ish Memories from happier times.
Basically, I’m thinking of doing ‘it’. I don’t want to be around anymore… I’m sick of life and all it has to throw at me. It’s not going to get better like everyone keeps telling me. I want it to stop. I think… My mental health is also getting worse… I don’t want to be the crazy one. I did want to stick around for my nephews, watch them grow up… be happy with them. Looks like that isn’t going to happen. They will be ok without me. I know it. And sure, […]
So guess what?!… i’m feeling depressed. :/
Sorry about that, you were probably expecting some great, amazing news from a well loved and appreciated person, instead you got me. And all I do is complain about how much I hate my life when somewhere in the world there is a kid wishing he/she could be me. I don’t deserve this life… I’m just going to fuck it up, and already have. I’m only 15 and have already fucked it up. I should just leave. Either the permanant way or just gather my things and walk out of the door. I don’t want to stay here, really. […]
Can’t stand this life anymore, i’ve had enough. People are jerks, they don’t care. My family are twats who want me to kill myself. I don’t want/need help. i don’t. I hate all of this anxiety and nerves… Things i haven’t told people just get worse. I’m not normal, i don’t belong here. Everyone keeps leaving..pretty soon i am going to be all alone…People email me, i love talking to you guys… you make me feel less alone. Don’t leave me. My days are pretty much routines, depression and MW3… i was told that i need a boyfriend, i don’t. that would just make it […]
I don’t know what to do.
Cry?- Check. Have a mental breakdown?-Check. Sit and stare into space?- Check.
So.. Tonight, at about half eight-nine, i started to break down. I started to tell myself that it was happening and everyone is going to die. Then i logged onto facebook to try to calm myself down, only to read a lot of status’ about Chantelle…. Things like R.I.P. After some research, i found out that on Tuesday 3rd April 2012, she committed suicide.
I didn’t know her, but still this news has mentally destroyed me.
It makes me think that, how i’m feeling right now… will be what it’s like […]
I have a very violent brother, and what’s the worst part? a tiny piece of me really wants him to take out all of his fury on me. To properly hurt me, like i can’t. My razorblade just doesn’t do the trick anymore, i think it’s blunt, only leaves a scratch that doesn’t bleed much. It’s killing me. i need pain, deliberately holding my hand under hot water just the feel the burn…. i don’t think i can do this for much longer.
Life is becoming darker and darker…. i can’t see the light. Afterall? We were just born to die.
I think i’m starting to love […]
so… a lot. It’s easter holidays and told myself that i’m allowed to cut myself… it has slightly spiraled out of control. My left wrist is covered in small thin, lines and my right has 3 simple lines. My upper left arm looks…well. i carved ‘CRAZY’ into it….
Basically, i met this guy online, he is 18. we talked about a lot and then out of nowhere he removes me as a friend and blocks me…i could deal with the pain if i hadn’t started to really like him… and he also told me ‘ I would never leave you’…
I want to be sort of like […]
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