I am so bored …
I can’t stand it .
My friend invited me to come to a gay bar with him tonight with some other people for his birthday but I don’t know if I’m feelin it . I wish I had the excitement to go out.
And I am even more bored because we are in winter break at my school. There’s literally nothing to do . I watched all the lost seasons and now I’m sad and pissed that it’s over.
God dammit .
Plus being this bored makes me feel so shitty about my self .
Ugh
What is all of your names ? I am
curious . I wish I could put a face and name to all of your usernames .
I feel like it would be fun to see all of yours too . These are mine.
1. Find something I’m passionate about . I really want to find something to put my time and energy into . Art ? Music ? I have a great ear my friend tells me . And I love going to shows. I think I would like to buy a synthesizer . I’m really into some funky music.
2. Pass my dental assisting radiology and infection control exams . I’m coming close to the date to take them and I’m nervous . After I take these tests I can get […]
Today I saw my old love and I was happy . We just listened to music and laid together . And I felt content . But the second I left I feel so alone . I’m so unhappy . Any second I’m not around something that can make me happy , I instantly become sad again . I really want to die. I wish I could order a hit man to kill me. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy . This all seems pointless as fuck . I have such bad anxiety now anyways around people that I don’t think I’ll ever make friends […]
I woke up and played my spotify and this song came on. It reminds me of my self. It’s about building up a relationship only to break it down with your craziness. I can’t have relationships with people because they can’t really help me, and i’m way too bipolar.
The last relationship i had with a guy was the best i ever had. We met at a concert on the beach on Labor Day weekend. I fell in love with every little thing he did. He was a musician so we always made music together. And traveled. He had such great life lessons and morals. I […]
This is my absolute favorite singer. Every time i hear his voice i want to dance. I can really feel his music. He has a great story too. He was depressed and started with nothing. He recorded his album in his bedroom and got somewhere. I think we can all get somewhere too. The video is kind of weird. God, i would do anything to meet this man.
Today was horrible. Let’s start of by saying I met up with a old friend and we smoked a couple bowls and I got really stoned . I stopped smoking because it turned into paranoia. I would just get really anxious and my heart would start racing . I had compulsive thoughts and so much more . And that’s exactly what happened to me today . I thought it would be different . I felt so awkward with her . I have no friends so I thought this would be a good day . Then I ate a lot of food because I was anxious […]
There’s so much sad shit on here , so I thought to change it up a bit. Well here is some cool facts about me.
1. I’m related to Edgar Allen Poe . He’s actually one of my favorite writers . Before I knew I was related to him I would have nightmares about him. It was a little weird. Maybe he secretly knew we were family .
2. I have the same birthday as Neil Armstrong . August 5th, 1997. Yeah I’m a late 90s kid. How cool…
3. My grandma helped hide Jews in her home in Copenhagen Denmark during ww2. It was one of the […]
It’s 80 degrees out so I went to the beach I feel so happy right now and there are so many people out . So much life .
All I think about is killing myself . I try to be happy in moments but I can never seem to do it . All I have been thinking about lately is wanting to die . I don’t know if I can make it in 2016
Merry Christmas to all… I hope you all had a good day .
I didn’t feel like it was Christmas today .
It’s my least favorite holiday.
I feel like today is a day where people find a excuse to get back in touch with you , people get you gifts because they feel like they have to, and family’s have to get together because they feel bad that they haven’t for a whole year .
I kind of had a good day though. I saw my step family . Their really nice . My actual family is pretty much all dead , except for my great […]
Good morning to all my Christmas goers. I woke up today feeling good actually. Its going to be 80 degrees in Virginia beach where I live so much m pretty sure that means a good day is waiting for me . It usually freezing this time of the year . Apparently it hasn’t been this hot since 1895. So great. I’m probably gonna head to the beach and read some of this book and walk the trails . I’m actually feeling like doing something with my self today .
I feel like I’m different .
I don’t have an opinion on anything . Nor do I have a passion. I’m not good at anything . Not having a opinion for anything is boring .I’m so fucking bored.
And I’m tired . I had a short class today before the holidays and i got home at 10 and slept until now (7pm) I’m debating whether or not to sleep again. I can feel my eyes drooping.
I just hate that I feel like I don’t feel for anything and I feel nothing . & these thoughts make me feel like a looser .
I can’t even explain […]
I feel so lonely right now because I am spending Christmas so alone . I wish I had friends to give presents to or go to Christmas parties with . This time
Of the year makes me so sad . It’s hard to get out in the world and make friends .
But anyways happy holidays to you all. I’m gonna go drink some wine .
This song is so good . It speaks to me . I think you should all listen . And had a good music video.
“Amor Fati”
Don’t try to find
Words now, you fall
Then go, reach out
The choice is yours to find
This life you’ve got
The light to guide
Your faith decides
The roads you’re going to find
Realize
So tired
Got hope, desire
Even though it’s hard to forget
What you can’t afford now
Chasing all your thoughts, you know that
You’ll be all right in time
This life you’ve got
The light to guide
Your faith decides
The roads you’re going to find
This life […]
I feel bad for telling people how I feel . Most say that I am too much , and that they cannot handle it .
God I wish I just had someone to sit with me and that would let me lay in their lap and cry .
I can’t even talk about my suicidal thoughts and it kills me .
I wish I could leave this life, I just want to see things more beautifully .
I want to wake up and see the sun and trees and birds outside and feel happy to be alive . I’d rather sleep , and that’s all the energy I have […]
I have so many secrets that are eating me up inside . That literally no one knows . I think it’s time to share some of them .
I’m addicted to meeting older guys online and meeting them in person. I just have a thing for older men. About 25-30 . I don’t know why. I feel like only
These people online give me the time of day . They listen to me . And plus I like
Getting free food from them.. I never end up really talking to them again. I just never feel a connection.
I think it is that I just […]
I watch everyone’s days go on around me. I feel like in stuck in time. Depression has slowed me.
I feel even when I sleep for hours, I do not feel rejuvenated. I don’t feel good.
Even when I have the least bit of confidence, it soon diminishes after a few seconds.
I feel content for moments at a time. Yesterday I felt the warm sun . I was happy. But that feeling soon disappeared.
I think it’s hard to get better. Nothing seems to have a point. I don’t feel like there’s any reason to be alive. I don’t think my life has meaning at all.
I wish […]
No one knows how much I’m suffering . And the ones who do tell me I’m too much. So what do I do?
I’ve been going about every day all by my self . And I am alone . All my thoughts get to me . Some days I stand outside and notice how beautiful it is and feel the warm sun and close my eyes and i somehow feel content in that moment , being by my self .
Whenever I’m going to hangout with someone , they end up making excuses to why they can’t hangout. I wish people would straight up tell me they […]
I got fired today . I honestly feel better . I got fired because I was late . & this is my first time being late . But it’s whatever . I could care less . That place is fucking toxic. I feel like everyone there bully’s me. So I don’t care . I feel like that place was really bringing me down . I need a new environment and new people .
I hope to make a change in my life
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