So I want to kill myself. I mean really kill myself not some half hearted attempt or something on impulse. I am tired of life tired of dealing with roller coaster they call bipolar..and I am tired of myself. My bottles are ready for me to take, I just have to plan on when….I think maybe by the weeks end….I need to put a little money together so my ex can get a house to have our daughter in, he doesnt have one right now….make sure my boyfriend will be ok. I know that I should be happy but I can never be happy my […]
smtrost85
smtrost85
I am 25 years old. I have been diagnosed as having Bipolar 1 that is rapid cycling, borderline personality disorder and PTSD. I am currently in the midst of a divorce, (Yeah he broke up with me while I was in a pysch unit over the phone) I have been struggling with wanting to live because all I want to do is die....
I have it all planned it: take the whole bottle of pills, my depakote , tylenol, klonopin, benadryl, mix with a little alcohol and off to the woods I go with a bag to place over my head….that way no will find me until its over with. I will finally get away from myself. You see people may have hurt me and abused me but in the end it was all me I have hurt myself too much and I am done. I cant handle my diseases the meds dont work and I am a horrible person for the way I act. I lock myself […]
They use my problems against me,
Like Im some evil thing,
Just because I want to die,
doesnt mean I dont deserve to live,
why do you look at me like I am a disease,
You cause me more pain than you can see,
I slice my arms to stop the pain,
I take the pills and wait,
wait for it to be over,
wait for my freedom,
but then I wake up,
and realize that you have stopped me once again,
you hate me anyways so please just let me go,
you judge me for my pain,
just let me go
Please dont stop me next time,
dont take the bag off my head,
no need to call the ambulance,
just let […]