I’m not sure about the rest of the world, but in Australia at least, it was R U OK day. And it got me thinking about how my life is going great and I’m happy and I’ve got great friends, I’m doing good in school and with family and all those things BUT I’m not okay. I might be happy in the moments but I’m just not happy still. I feel like I don’t have reasons for feeling this way I’m just miserable right now. So this question goes out to everyone else, are you okay?
Okay, so I know it’s supposed to be 1 post a day but I need to get this out too. I’ve just been thinking about how hard it is to live – and how hard life is really. But death, it’s such as easy escape. It would be so much weight off my shoulders. It would be all of my problems solved. And for me especially, I have so many ways that I could die like to be honest I should not have the “luck” to be alive today. I could die from eating a peanut, having an asthma attack, cuddling a horse, eating as […]
For quite some time I’ve been really quite happy. I haven’t been thinking about negative things and I’ve been having fun too. But then I started feeling more left out at school again and starting to feel lonely or like I’m missing a person in my life. It’s 11:30pm and I’m very tired. I have to wake up in 7 hours then go to school. Im dreading this so much because of things that have been happening and how my friendships are AGAIN becoming more distant. One thing about me, is that I physically can’t deal with being lonely and being excluded – and that […]
“Do you want to die?”
This is a question I have been asked multiple times. By my counsellor, my brothers, my friends and my mum. I’ve recently started talking to an online counsellor and I’ve talked about self harm and she asked me if I wanted to die. My older brother mostly but also sometimes my younger brother have asked me in a threat kind of way if I do something wrong to them and they say “Do you want to die!?”. My friends maybe before doing something dangerous or stupid or while playing a game and doing something risky where I could die in it, […]
I hate my life and I’m miserable in it. I don’t want to be here and wish everything would be peaceful again. At the same time, I know other’s lives will be very different without me and I keep hoping “maybe things will get better”. But – what if they don’t and I’m forced to live on in a miserable sad life I have hopelessly created for myself? I’m stuck in literally a life or death situation. Should I stay or should I go? I don’t want to be here but other’s want me to.
I have so many problems and things wrong with me it’s hard to keep track. I know that this site is for things to do with depression, anxiety, suicide or similar things, but this one is more about other things I struggle with and could maybe find others who can talk to me about it.
So basically it all started that I was born 6 weeks early, a tiny underweight baby who “died” and got resuscitated or whatever 3 times. I mean, bad start right? Well, since then I was sick in hospital for a few months and then still sick after that, just in my […]
You know what, I seriously don’t think I’m supposed to be happy. Like I think my destiny and fate is just to be unhappy. I wish it wasn’t this way, but it is. Every time that I feel happy and can say to myself “life is going pretty great” (which is not often as it is) my life just suddenly says “oh, she’s happy, better change that”. Like literally things are finally going good like I can actually say I have friends and I’m happy with them and the way things are going but then now they’ve decided that they don’t like me as much […]
When my friends are sad or when I people I admire or look up to are sad or cutting, it makes me want to cut like as if its a trend when it shouldn’t be? I’m a sheep. A follower. If my friends jump off a bridge I would too. So I guess when other people tell me they’re cutting it makes me want to cut or feel sad about my life or feel like it should be bad. Even in movies or tv shows if people have shit lives and cut themselves or commit suicide, it makes me feel like my life is shit […]
I will not kill myself no matter how much I want to. I couldn’t do it the people I love and to the very few people who would actually care if I die. The one that I am staying here for the most is my cat Tinkerbell. I love her more than I knew was even possible to love anyone. I cry many nights because I know she is getting older and that she will eventually die too. The day she dies I will cry so much and I won’t stop. I think I will drown myself in tears. It makes me miserable thinking about […]
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