SuicideKillMe

Eating, eating, eating. Thats what i do. No thats what everyone does. I hate food. Food is not my friend. Food is mine enemy. I rather strave then eat. No wonder america is getting food. Thats what we always do. I eat out of emotions and i hate it each and everyday. I bet food is one of the reasons we should keep surviving. I know this isnt a healthy habit, but im breaking and escaping from it. Its like im being held in prison. And my Death penalty is nothing but over eating. I hate food and i hate myself. I need to knock […]

you know what. I dont know what to do with myself anymore. I have like nothing to live for. I dont excatly know why im righting this. Im so confused right now its crazy >. <. My friends say im skinny. But i feel fucking fat. Mine weight is just like the gas prices up. But sometimes it gos down to. I cant stand it any longer.I know im just ranting but i cant help that. It so hard to breath right now its not even funny v- v.

Worst school day ever. I hate my life so much its not even funny. God why are you punishing me? What did i do wrong? I beileve in you but it seems you hate me. Why do people make fun of me. I got stares from people and they just point and laugh. AM I THAT UGLY? Did i look the wrong directions? Nothing but tears today. Nothing but sympthy. My friends said to forget about it or ignore them but thats not working at all i cant do it. Everyday its the same thing. Like i said i am weak. i cant […]

Like the title said im done. I cant do it. i cant go on like this. I dont need fake happiness to continue my life. I don’t even have a friend who understands what im going through. I doubt anybody can see the real me. I’m pretty sure they will once i’m dead. I dont want attenion cause that is the last thing on mine list.
You know… i dont even know who i am. I dont know who is in mine body. Who is in here is just another puppet being controll. Who knows who is controlling mine emotions. I know im not strong […]

Stop stabing me
I’m sorry if i did wrong
My tears hurt
That pain cries
for attention
My eyes are red
Quit this horrible crime
This hurts enough already
STOP LOOKING AT ME
I’m sorry i’m that ugly
Sell me to the streets
if you must
Stop this pain
Its like hot water
spill on my back
Please i beg you
I’m trying my best
If you leave me alone
I could just die
in my own blood
I’m just…
Sorry

Like the title saids i cant take it anymore. Everything i do is wrong. v- v I feel so empty inside. Like right now, i have no words to describe how i feel. It seems like im dying more and more and not even knowing it. My fun personailty die weeks ago and i already feel like shet. I just want to end my life and left everyone be happy. I dont know whats wrong with me. Am i going insane?Or am i just…. i dont know. There is nothing i can do anymore. I have given up on everything pretty soon my grades […]

Welll on Easter Sunday my pastor came back. Well he was doing a sermon on Suicide.(Which is how i found this website). Then he was talking about this one thing that got his attenion. I forgot what it said but it brought him onto something. Then it got me thinking and how im typing this. I know God wants us to die of old age. But they say if we kill ourseleves we go to hell? But alot of people are complain cause God didnt help them out or he did save them. Not to be mean or anything but what did you do for […]

Who knew these thoughts can get stronger and stronger.The pressure to do so is not going away. I really want to kill myself. I want to jump infront of a moving car. At least put some damage on mine body or kill me. Or at least jump in the river. I know where one is and it wont take long for me to sink either. I just want to leave is all. I just want everything the way it should be; me dead. I dont know what to be happy for anymore. Maybe crying could help. But i don’t even know that would slove anything. […]

The only thing thats keeping me alive is that promise. Since that day i can’t kill myself. No matter how hard i want to i cant. Same goes for my friend. He can’t kill himself either. I’m pretty sure he is doing well as i feel there is a gun pointing to mine head. I cant take it anymore >- < i feel like im crying on the inside and it hurts. v- v it hurts alot. I'm trying my hardest, but i dont know anymore. Maybe just staying in my room all my life can help. Or have insanity take its course. […]

when i wake up in the moring im always still sleepy. When i get out of bed and walk around doing what i need to do im doing alright. When that one spot hit me, i feel depress, wanting to cry, and ready to kill myself. I dont need pills cause i take more then what i really need. I got in trouble for the things i wrote and been send to the guidence counsler. I found out that that really didnt work at all. Mine mom talk to me and that didnt help at all. Why am i such a failure? I can never […]

Why put on a happy face when you feel like shet on the inside? Why laugh when you know it hurts. Does it seem fake to just let everyone not worry? Hidding everything from everyone. Do they not see the look of suffering laying across mine face. Even if you think its a sercet. When your down people will ask if something is wrong when you just shrub it off like its nothing. Do they not see the tears fall at night when i have nothing to leave for? Can anyone see what im hiding. The loneliness that space out from everything. It seems to […]

I guess crying is the solution to everything.
I dont know how it keeps me sane,
but i guess i have no other chosed.
Days like these…
always brings the ugly out of me.
nothing more can take care of it.
No matter how many sympthic please i get
everything will be the same.
Saddness and depression
are mine enemy.
I dont want them to beat on me.
No matter how much it hurts.