Carla, my aunt, and Philip my uncle, said that if I drank more thank a 12 pack of cooers light, I’d be banned from drinking here again. Well I took a taxi and for a 12 pack of cooers light PLUS a 2 24 ounces of natural ice (the heavy stuff). I still didn’t get the intoxication that I wanted but I got the best – in retrospect, I should have gone ahead and got a 12 pack of natural ice, since Carla never came down to check on me. Yes I’m an alcoholic but I gotta figure this stuff out myself. Carla, my aunt, […]
Can you find were the empty beer cans are? yesterday I was craving alcohol and couldn’t sleep because of it. Around 3 pm I took a shower, dressed real nice, got me a bag of water and told my aunt that I was going to take a walk. Knowing I’m an alcoholic, she didn’t bring up any questions to my surprise! I walked a mile to the store, even anxiety couldn’t stop me! I got 12 cans of bud light because they were out of the good […]
I’m writing an entire political manifesto that covers everything from national security, to the abolition of the penny to better social programs to how emerging technologies can create a utopia in the future. Even though euthanasia is a section of the manifesto, it’s very important. I still got a lot to write on euthanasia including the right to die for the mentally ill. Here is what I got so far (prob about 10% complete on tthe euthanasia topic)………………
The Bioethics Agenda
EUTHANASIA
Denying the right for terminally ill people to choose to end their own lives by peaceful means is one of the biggest human and civil rights […]
Haven’t heard from him in awhile
I will never forgive him for his horrible comments he made about Brittney Maynard saying that her choice to end her own life was a “crime against God”.
what a horrible year it’s been – the worst year of my life. Just like last year, the leaves will soon turn, than fall off there trees. The snow will come and then the first flowers will rebloom next spring just before the scorching heat of summer….than September 2016 will arrive.
I wonder how 2016 will be for me. Seems like ever year is a cycle that keeps repeating itself as I sit and watch the world go by.
you know, I spoke very prematurely when I came out of the psyche ward. In hindsight, all it did was trigger my desire to make friends. Once they all rejected me, it brought out my Borderline Personality Disorder (which was what I was diagnosed with in the ward). I have attachment and rejection issues. What a load of garbage. I wish they would have just sent me home the next day after my suicide attempt. I wasn’t suicidal a day after my attempt and I’m not suicidal now. If I would have just went home instead of going to the psyche ward, I’d be just […]
so I decided to invite 5 friends over
xanny #1
xanny #2
xanny #3
xanny #4
and xanny #5
5 good friends for a lonely night.
I thought the therapy was great at the time while I was in the psyche ward. Problem is, what really helped was the “friends” I thought I made. I have severe attachment issues and can’t stand to be alone and rejection brings out my PTSD. If they was going to do therapy, it should have been some sort of 1 on 1 thing. Now I feel this huge empty void again but without the suicidal thoughts. Because nobody returned my calls and deleted my friends request on Facebook, my self confidence is one again in a graveyard. I’d be right where I was if I […]
do they also tell you how intelligent and well spoken and talented you are? Just trying to figure out if all psychologists say the same things to people to boost there egos
at the psyche ward I went to, I actually gave humanity one more shot. What a fucking idiot I was. Couldn’t I see from past experiences what was going to happened? All these “friends” rejected me in Facebook and never returned my calls. To think I could have friends. Fuck them! last night I ripped up there phone numbers and decided to put myself back into self imposed isolation. Humanity is a god damn sham, a lie. For some people women and friends fall into there laps, me asking for a relationship or friendship is like asking a homeless man to break into a jewrey […]
Yall remember those “friends” I made in the god damn psyche ward? Well I added Sarah and John on Facebook from that ward and exhanged numbers. Not only have they not returned my calls BUT I looked on my Facebook page and fucking beautiful! They both denied me. Couldn’t have fucked me over better myself! See? Fake people! No wonder I’m a god damn recluse. As for my “fishing buddy” Mitchell, never could get ahold of him ether. Well fuck me!
after my one day stent in the ER, and the 5 day stent in the psyche ward, I became close to a lot of people in there. I exchanged phone numbers with about 5 people. They was like family to me. When I tried to call em, it all went directly to voicemail and I left a message but nobody returned my calls. Me and this one guy was planning on meeting up and going fishing.
My fear is – what if they just felt that fellowship on the inside, but once they got out they moved on? I heard stories about prisoners who promised to […]
I been working on a political and social movement for years. The name or the organization will be called The Actionist Movement (a generic name for a complex ideology). I lost interest in it for years. One of my main goals is Neuropreservation for far future transhumanism. I haven’t gotten to that part because its complex. my philosophy covers a number of issues such as prison and school reform etc. here is what I wrote so far on my Bioethics Agenda (a lot more to write about that).
The book will be called – My Vision: The Manifesto of the Actionist Movement
EUTHANASIA – The option of […]
as you all know, I attempted suicide Friday night and had to be taken by ambulance and then to the psyche ward. While I still believe that the mentally ill should choose only if they go to treatment, I think that many would opt out once they got finished. I was one of them. After 6 days of treatment, I would have refused euthanasia. I loved the group and they loved me. I never in my life got so much positive feedback from people who was suffering just like me.
there is a problem. I’m still an alcoholic. I drank today. I called my dad and […]
Friday night I said goodbye to SP. after the recent stuff that went on, I lost patience on my suicide plan. I went upstairs, and then took a bunch of pills. The intention of the pills was not to kill me but to sedate me so I could suffocate myself. Didn’t work! So I went up and took more and than when I was heading back down stairs, my aunt cought me before I could use my Halloween bag. She said “come here let me look at […]
I love you all. Please remember all that I said and tried to do. You all are very special to me.
1-304-727-2357
got a 12 pack of natural ice and 2 25 ounces of it. I love you guys.