Carla, my aunt, and Philip my uncle, said that if I drank more thank a 12 pack of cooers light, I’d be banned from drinking here again. Well I took a taxi and for a 12 pack of cooers light PLUS a 2 24 ounces of natural ice (the heavy stuff). I still didn’t get the intoxication that I wanted but I got the best – in retrospect, I should have gone ahead and got a 12 pack of natural ice, since Carla never came down to check on me. Yes I’m an alcoholic but I gotta figure this stuff out myself. Carla, my aunt, doesn’t understand that I get itchy and have problems sleeping when I gone 72 hours without a drink. I hope to soon get a fucking HUDD house so I can get what I please. I built up a tolerance to alcohol – meaning I need more to get that perfect high. I’ll find a way, even if it kills me. Nothing to me is as sweeter than pre black out intoxication!!!!h
mg aunt is going out of town tomorrow.who knows what I’ll think of next.ijust can’t stand being sober
4 comments
If you can’t stand being sober it probably means you have issues you are trying to avoid. Alcoholism will catch up to you and make you feel worse, so maybe you should think about why you want to escape your own head like that, and try to resolve persistent issues from the past or present. Don’t blame everything on other people, either. Your problems will just keep returning and snacking you in the face until you realize how you provoked them in some way yourself, and thus decide to change your behavior or attitude.
*Your problems will just keep returning and *smacking you in the face (auto correct).
I know you can’t just decide not to want the alcohol, so I’m not trying to make it sound like that part is a decision. But are you sure you want to carry on going down this path? I’m worried about you, Windows… You found positivity that some of us haven’t felt in years. You have it in you. If you reached out for help you could find it again. I know you feel that people let you down, but there seem to be others like your aunt who are by your side and rooting for you whatever happens. She probably doesn’t know what it’s like to feel that way, but she’s trying to help you survive.
You seem to expend a lot of effort and take a lot of pride in “getting away with it”. You seem like a good guy. You’re intelligent, charismatic, funny, etc… I wish you’d put more of that effort and pride into yourself. You are a person worth both.