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Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

So So Sad and Alone

by zebragirl1984
written by zebragirl1984

I’m sitting here again…So sad and so alone…I have been sleeping all the time…I have no energy or drive to even face the day…My life seems to be falling apart all around me…the love I thought I had won’t talk to me, I feel so useless and unwanted…it seems as tho I can’t do anything right…it’s just worth it anymore…y is it that no one wants me around? What’s so wrong with me? I do I even try? Spent a couple days with my mom and grandma, and my mom spent the whole time telling me how horrible I am, how I haven’t lived up […]

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I Am Alone

by nerevars
written by nerevars

“I am alone. I am… I am s-so alone, and there’s nothing I or you or anyone else can do about it. I’m gonna be stuck here forever. No one can help me. It’s like… Like you’re invisible, even though you do everything as loudly and as brightly as you can in their very faces. They just don’t want you to be a part of their lives, so that even your own home feels like a cold place where you’re not wanted…”

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One day later

by dontpushme
written by dontpushme

My friend moved on yesterday. Helium. Wish it hadn’t worked. Dammit. Of course he would be clever enough the first time. No problem. Genius. Reminded me of my failed attempt. It was a long time ago. I had no perspective. Didn’t believe anyone else could understand. Not really. But now I understand. Really. He didn’t know that. Couldn’t have. I don’t share. Why would I. Why wouldn’t I. So here I am. Sharing.

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Just so people know why

by killmenow4ever
written by killmenow4ever

I am about to commit suicide.  I know it is selfish and cowardly.  I know that others feel that same that I do and I’m not alone.  I know that I have friends.  I know that there are people that love me.  None of that helps.  None of that changes how I feel.

I’m not going to tell you that I’m worthless.  I’m not capable of doing the things that I would like to, but I’m not worthless.

I don’t even want to die.  I cry and beg and say it out loud every day.  Earlier today I was holding my gun and telling myself how much […]

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You broke my defensive wall…

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

I wrote this poem today at 1:21 am. It’s about a situation that happened just before.

In all those years,
I’ve built up a defensive wall.

It’s made of a thick layer of glass,
a thick massive wall of concrete,
and a thicker immense wall of marble,
with in the core the vulnerable and breakable me.

My defensive wall is that thick and strong that nobody ever came behind the wall of concrete.
My wall of marble stayed all that time unharmed and without a scratch.

But now that’s the past,
because you came into my life.
You took your gigantic wrecking ball to break my […]

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Scared But So Excited

by zebragirl1984
written by zebragirl1984

I know I’ve had a lot of posts as of late and they’ve been all covering the same thing. I don’t think I’ve fully been able to get out of my chest what I need to get out so I’m gonna try again. My life is turning upside down as of late…What I mean by that, is that the life I kno now is changing and its changing dramatically…and I am soooo excited about it, but scared….also I’m also frustrated that I can’t have things happen sooner. I am very impatient. This life altering change means that I will be leaving the only life I’ve […]

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by hellblau
written by hellblau

I feel like given up, i won’t fight anymore. I’m drowning. But somehow, i’m still here; and i don’t fucking know what is pulling me out of the sea.

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Wished I could tell them…

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

I wished they would knew what was going on in me, but I can’t tell them. My parents are noticing that I want to do less things, and they don’t agree with it because they think it will take me down. What they don’t realize is that doing so many things is killing me, it makes me more depressed and more suicidal. So doing those many things will actually take me down, but they have another vision and don’t want to listen to me. We have constantly arguments, and I really wished I could tell them, but they won’t agree with me. They just don’t […]

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Domino Fell Down, Mommy.. (Question for Y’all)

by Domino Jays
written by Domino Jays

It’s been how long now? I don’t really remember. But I do know there is some major shit going down at my house.

Specifically, Mom and Dad split up, Mom has a boyfriend, Dad has a fiance, sister’s pregnant and due in about 3 weeks.

Lots of shit.

And then there’s me.

Domino.

 

Y’know, I’ve been to hell and back with depression and suicide. And I was doing good too. So what the hell happened?

I might as well be clear with you all, at least the people who are going to read this. I’m a gay transboy. Which means a lot of stuff. First, I’m a boy in a girl […]

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This is so Hard

by zebragirl1984
written by zebragirl1984

I Miss You

As I lay down at night
I think how things have changed
Ever since you entered it
My whole life’s re-arranged
But I wish that I could see you sooner than I can
It’s like you’re a movie star
And I’m your biggest fan

But I miss you
Like I miss the sun on a rainy day
Like I miss the moon when it goes away
But the sun and the moon
don’t mean nearly as much to me
As you do
I could live without them But I need you
And I miss you

Now that we’re so far apart
I love you even […]

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So Far from Me

by zebragirl1984
written by zebragirl1984

I cried when I read this. This poem means so much to me, because even though we are under the same sky, you are so far from me. I know the time will come when you are next to me, but until then…My Angel, My Sweet…I will miss you with every ounce of my being.

My Angel, My Sweet

My Angel, My Sweet,
How I long for us once again to meet.
How I long to run my fingers though your hair
and to smell your suculent perfume in the air.
Oh how I long to feel your face,
and to sense your gentle presence all over […]

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I Miss You

by zebragirl1984
written by zebragirl1984

I found this online and it captures how lonely I feel.

I Miss You Dreamer

You don’t know how bad I need you here with me,
I need you more than anything more than I need to breathe

How do I last now that my heart has grown so cold,
Being without you its like my heart was put on hold

How do I stay warm without you to hold me tight,
I wish I was in your arms and everything was right

When I’m with you my body becomes weak,
I want to say I love you but its really hard to speak

I get this amazing feeling from […]

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All I wanted was to play with my friends…

by meVStheworld
written by meVStheworld

Now, you may think I’m just that teenager, who goes bitching about their Mother and has tantrums about who gets the remote.

This isn’t the case.

Throughout my life, I have had a fairly descent childhood, I’m not raped, I’m not assaulted. It’s more of a psychological thing. From the age 0-7 every thing was fine and dandy. Both my Mother and my Father had a healthy relationship, two sweet little girls and a bouncy boy (me). Then it all went wrong. My Mum decided my oldest sister was responsible enough to look after us, cook for us and care for us; being 13 at the time. […]

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Everyday I Lose Hope

by justleavemealone
written by justleavemealone

When you tell a therapist all your problems and they say, “Wow, oh my gosh! That’s a lot to deal with at your age.” And then invite you to a stress management session, you know your life is shit. I’ve told many of my “friends” that I didn’t want to live anymore, and they always say, “No, no! Just stick it out. You’ll see. You have so much to live for.” And then I don’t.

My mother is abusive. She’s getting old and losing her mind, and now that I’m at boarding school I have to constantly worry about my autistic&&ADHD brother and what she’s doing […]

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Should I Even Try Anymore?

by Bernybert
written by Bernybert

Heya.  It’s me.  I don’t really know what to put now that I’m trying to..

 

Let’s start with school (?) then home I guess.

Everyday I put on a pair of skinny jeans; most of the time they are plaid or a cool color like a greenish-blue, but other times its just blue jeans.  Then a shirt which is either a band shirt that is too tight or one of my other shirts (including some band tees) that are way too loose.  I have no shirts that actually fit me.  Then I go to bathroom for hair and makeup.  I almost always put on black eyeliner that […]

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Suicidal for a VERY long time

by Reitanna
written by Reitanna

Hi, I am Reitanna, and I have wanted to kill myself since I was about twelve or thirteen. I will be twenty three this November. When I was twelve, I was diagnosed with manic depression, but we had seen signs of it when I was a young child. There may have even been thought of suicide when I was young, but I don’t remember. I was abused by my mother, whom I will call E because I don’t consider her my mom anymore, until I was fourteen when custody of me was finally taken away from her.

However, I’ve always been scarred by this, and being […]

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I’m so tired.

by Aerylin
written by Aerylin

I’m so tired, it feels like I can fall apart every moment. I just.. ugh. But the weird thing is: I don’t want to commit suicide. Death is one of my biggest fears. I just want to be happy. I just started high school and I was like: I’m really gonna miss my old class, but I’m sure I’m gonna make new friends. My best friend came in the same class as me (let’s call her A), so I was really happy I wasn’t ‘alone’ because I’ve always been a shy girl. She made friends, I didn’t. I was happy for her, I can’t blame […]

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Sometimes the top begins at the bottom

by Omar
written by Omar

I want to say that nearly half the males in my family have contemplated suicide at some point in their life.  For some reason, men are taking their lives at nearly five times the rate of women.  I have had friends and family disappear, overdose or lose their life.  I thank God for one who still lives…he became a best friend and between him and some damn good women in my life ,they lead me through the most depressing time of my life.  I’m not exempt from the statistics of contemplation.  But when I came out if it, I found my life back on track. […]

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