Family & Friends Effects

I have tried suicide before but when I OD’d my body got all tingly and it hurt and the pain forced me to call for help. They said it was enough that I would have died had they not gotten to me in time so I know it would have worked. I want to do it again and finish the job this time but I’m scared that it will hurt again and ill have too much time to feel the pain and will call for help.

I would jump in front of a train but that would scar the conductor for life and I don’t want […]

Everyone says,  “it will get better” “hold your head up” “its gonna be okay in the end” Eventually it starts to feel better and you can’t remember you’re lows because you are so high on that mountain top. Then you are flushed with memories and pain, it hurts more physically and you fall backwards and hit the ground hard than before. From the outside everyone thinks its easy to get yourself together, but its much harder.

I’m exhausted, and not just me, the people around me as well. Some nights I just sob in bed, shoving my desire to go get help back down my throat because I know no one wants to wake up to listen to me cry about how I’m hurting, feeling destructive and suicidal. I guess when I feel like I do some times, all I want to do is get help, to talk about it, tell someone so I’m not alone. More often than not lately, I’m choosing to be alone fighting all by myself against myself. I might be screaming into my pillows, at war […]