The effects of suicide on family and friends.
I would ruin myself to fix you.
After 9 years of thinking about suicide every day (first time I ever thought about it I was about 9, I’m now 22) I finally decided to let everyone know. In October I texted my mother & husband about it. My husband’s response was an atypical caring one, “just hold on” “you’re strong” “you can make it.” “we’ll survive together” etc. You know the garbage anyone spews at someone who comes forward professing their suicidal thoughts. My mother however took the atypical rude approach, “so many people have it so much worse” “you have no idea what it’s really like to struggle” “you’re life has […]
I’ve been miserable for two years now. I’ve been self-harming during those two years and have been thinking about suicide, but never acting upon it.
My parents won’t do anything to get me any help, because they don’t believe in depression.
I’ve been trying so hard to try and get happier by myself, but it’s driving me into more sadness and despair.
I’ve been trying to stop my self mutilation, but my body has been craving it. There’s a part of me that wants to cut myself and see how much I bleed, but there’s also the part of me that doesn’t.
I don’t know what to do anymore. […]
Hi people.
It’s great to know that there are people that feel just as shitty as I do. I have a more personal blog where I rant about how I keep delaying “The Grand Event” and how there is always some tad of hope I have in humanity. Life,though always makes me regret even being conceived to begin with. I’ve been looking for a method to leave fast and painless I cut,but I’m not cutting to deep.
I know you understand me.Being a 20 year old female, South African.I don’t have much support of this side.My only way is out.
Here is one of my blog entries in […]
An 18 year old, senior in high school. She found a way to survive for 6 years and finally set herself free. The pain and anxiety got to her. The depression ate her alive from the outside in. The tears lay on her pillow case where she suffocated herself the night before. Her father, still the drunk he was before, still doesn’t realize that his screams actually got to her. He doesn’t understand that after every hit, it pushed her off the edge more. Her mother, still the druggie she always has been, doesn’t understand that it’s not easy having a parent that would rather […]
Such depth in words
…
Despair is nothing compared to what I live.
Just a click away.careful and close analysis of what has lead me to this dark whole in my life.
You will not regret it.
This,friend.
This is the stuff.
www.sirgrandad.blogspot.com
Finally,
Enjoy!
-Gran(^•^)Dad
I almost always feel comfortable around others in a business sort of setting. When it comes to casual meetings and activities, I want the fuck out. I remember back when I had friends, and we went out to go eat, but I was bored to death. What was there to talk about? We already discussed poop. We talked about sex and food too. What was the point? Friends don’t last, they just come and go. We all run out of things to say, and being stuck in an unfulfilling relationship is… unfulfilling. I don’t get why people are so happy on the TV and outside […]
I went to a psychiatric testing place last week, and I’ve got to go back again Monday. I’ve noticed that I express far fewer symptoms of depression than I had years ago. For instance, I don’t actively want to commit suicide, but I still wish to stop existing. I sleep whenever I can, because there is nothing to do at all that means anything. I don’t want a job because there is no point, and I’m currently mentally incapable of having one, as I break down about a couple of weeks in, realising how pointless and worthless I am and that my job suggests the […]
I hate the world we live in, the society we’re built on, and any direction i could take my life in…. I feel like such a disgrace, my life is wonderful! As i type this on my smartphone in my cozy bed in a warm house, my loving parents are probably thinking about me just like i think about them constantly… They shower me in love and gifts and praise, but I DO NOT DERSEVE A FRACTION OF IT! Killing myself would be too harsh for these beautiful, kind individuals, but I feel it would save them from dissapointment and hardships in the future… I […]
I’m so tired of being a punching bag. Why do you have to push all of your ideals, veiws and bs on me. I’m wearing out real fast now and I have no idea how much longer I’ll be able to last….
If you hate me so much now and have regrets the why the hell did you even keep me ariund.
Well dont worry. You know my favorite saying a man is known by the silence he keeps… I guess I’ll take that saying literally and become silent forever.
On October 26th, last Thursday, I ate a handful of poison hemlock seeds I had researched thoroughly. I was so ready. I had prepared all summer. Ready for peace, or nothingness, or heaven, or hell, or my next life, or a reset. I want to die, and I’ve wanted to die for a very very long time. My chest and gut physicaly hurt when I think of having to push on for 60 or so years living only for my friends and family. ..the seeds are from a camping trip. I know hemlock. The leaves, the flowers, the colors, the smell, and yes, the taste. […]
I quit my job and moved across the country so that I could afford living without a job while I apply to grad programs. At the same time as studying for the GRE, I got engaged to be married. You’d think it would be a really exciting time in my life, but the same two months I was going to use for improving my GRE score ended up being dedicated to wedding planning. Wedding planning was a nightmare, I felt extremely depressed, and then I would beat myself up for feeling depressed during a time I was supposed to be happy. Oh yeah, I forgot […]
Well well…seems like every time I take a trip down memory lane to this site, there’s oodles of new people and none of my old friends left…I wonder if they ever visit? Anyway, hey guys. Name’s Blake SinBad and I thought I’d let you know that I’m always open to talk or vent to if you need a hand or someone to listen to you. Totally free from judgement of any sort. I promise.
email: frejashinepaws@gmail.com
kik: xXFrejaShinePawsXx
Tumblr: just click on my link and use my ask box
Phone: HAHAHAAHAHHAHA no.
Sometimes I find that strangers are the best form of medicine…
I promise I’m not a […]
Where do i start eh?
I am 48 yrs old, married to my gorgeous wife Victoria. we got married in 2006, we’ve had our ups and downs liek all couples do and we have come through it because i thought we were strong.
I had major back surgery in 2011 that failed now i have disc degenerative disease throughout my spine and survive my days on large amounts of morphine just to get me walking.
My Mother passed away in Nov 2012 and i felt a part of me died too, my Father died in 2007 the day before my Birthday and that is crippling me big time. […]
I know you aren’t to bring religion onto this site, but it’s important in order to understand why this is hurting me.
I grew up in a strong Christian family. We always go to church and pray and follow the Bible. But that’s the problem. My family had their minds set on what was wrong and right, and they weren’t going to change what they thought. According to the Bible, two people of the same gender are not to be together. But that’s what depressed me.
I met this girl and to me, she was everything that I’ve ever wanted. But again, I was from a “Christian” […]
I found this site while searching for ways to make suicide appear to be accidental. At first I thought it was a place for methods, but after reading other people’s stories, I figured it couldn’t really hurt to share my situation, just to see if getting it out there will help me out any.
I married the love of my life a little under two weeks ago. We’ve lived together for almost two years now, so he knows how bad my depression gets. I feel terrible because I’m always hurting him. He can tell when I’m sad, and he doesn’t understand why I won’t tell him […]
When I was a young girl, my parents were divorced and I lived with my mother. I thought that’s how families were suppose to be though. You have two separated parents and just visit the one occasionally. Then one day my mom started seeing this guy. I had an idea of what was going on because my dad was also seeing another woman. But the strange thing to me was when my mom and this guy who was actually a complete stranger to me got engaged and he moved in. It was weird at first but I liked the idea of having two “parents” together. […]
My best friend well maybe friend thinks I’m crazy or looking for attention.I just want some help and I have no other friends really.Last night since we got in a fight about this(we fight a lot).after I got really upset and frustrated and kept looking up less painful ways to committ suicide.idk what to do I wanna kill myself so bad but at the same time I don’t cause there’s too many factors that come in to play and what if I go to hell???:(
Damn. It’s Hot. I hate this island. Nothing ever makes sense here. Everyone is smoking and drinking and killing cursing and…is happy. Why do buses filled with white people come here? Who in their right mind would want to come here? Avoid the groid! It’s so hot! Is this hell? Because everyone torments me with their jubilee while I am just devastated. I thought that If I preserved my memories they preserve me but they are just a mental horror movie. My childhood wasted. The real me Lost somewhere in between the beatings and loneliness and alienation. Why here!? Haha. Maybe I should run to […]
I’ve lost count of the years since he’s been gone, but today marks another. Today, October 25, 2014 is my soul mate’s 19 birthday. Every day I think of him and every time I do I ache to hear his voice again. I’ve been doing pretty good with my depression, even got a new boyfriend…but every time this day rolls around…my resolve breaks. I realize everything I’ve done and built is nothing and worthless. Nothing is the same without him and it never will be. I’ve never felt so miserable over someone before for so long…his loss has made me unable to care or love […]