I’ve been miserable for two years now. I’ve been self-harming during those two years and have been thinking about suicide, but never acting upon it.
My parents won’t do anything to get me any help, because they don’t believe in depression.
I’ve been trying so hard to try and get happier by myself, but it’s driving me into more sadness and despair.
I’ve been trying to stop my self mutilation, but my body has been craving it. There’s a part of me that wants to cut myself and see how much I bleed, but there’s also the part of me that doesn’t.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I need help.
3 comments
I am pasting a comment I left on a previous post because it is the same issue you are dealing with…and a little bit because I am old and lazy. haha 😀
Keep in mind I posted this on someone else’s post…and glean what you can from it. I’ll be around later if you want to talk. Keep your chin up. 😀
Yup that is bad. Suicidal ideation has become a comfort to you. A while ago…someone made a post asking folks to share their emotional state leading up to their suicide attempt. The truth for most was a total lack of emotion. Sounds to me like you could be spending tooo much time on the dark side…which is dangerous. One good psychotic break and you are gone. A bad one will land you in the nut hut. Is this what you want for your future?
I know it is easier to walk on the dark side…and life gives us plenty of impetus to do so…but ultimately you have the choice. Do you really want to die? Then keep going the way you are.
Depression is not a disease and cannot be cured with pills and potions…you just have to change your mind. A fuck of a lot harder than it sounds…but it is doable. The more time you spend on the dark side…the harder it becomes. If depression has not been a life-long condition for you…there is HOPE for you for a full recovery. You just have to make up your mind to change your mind. Most of us find it helpful to have professional help with this.
Our past has been written, played out…but not forgotten. In order to move forward…you need to understand the lessons from the first few chapters…and then leave them in the library and check out something new. Once you finish with your past…turn the page to limitless potential…and create a new story.
You are headed down the path of disassociation…Good Luck little one. But it’s not too late to turn things around. Understand? 😀
Your parents sound like they have their heads up their asses. Are they aware that you’ve been self harming? If your parents won’t help you then you’ll have to seek help from elsewhere. All I can do is suggest that you contact a doctor or a counselor regarding your self harm and see where things go from there. Good luck
No, I don’t think they know I’m self-harming. I try to hide it, because I don’t want to be seen as an attention-whore.