For non-suicidal topics that are fun, entertaining or informative.
So I posted before on another account that I would attempt the dehydration suicide method. I said I would check in a hotel on my forth day of drinking and eating nothing. I did but it was on the 6th day. I took some things with me in a backpack like clothes my toothbrush mouthwash moisturizer and my note in a sealed envelope. I was feeling very weak already I had to raise my voice a little because I couldn’t hear myself and no one could, I was just confused the whole time. The people who saw me I guess they thought I’ve always been anorexic. I went in my room and all I was thinking was I got 4 days left in life and in this hotel. I was just listening to music in bed. I expected my brothers to think I’m gone completely so I took my sim card out of my phone so I receive no call and continued listening to music. I was thinking about filling my bathtub with hot water and probably staying there for the whole day to excrete more water by sweating so I went there and there was a problem with the heater only working for 2 minutes every 20 minutes couldn’t tolerate that so made a room change got a bigger a room but still had the same problem (this is a 3 seasons hotel) so I gave up on that idea and just layed in the bed for the whole day watching videos of water drinking contests on youtube.
I was always reminding myself that there are more important things than drinking and eating like enjoying life and being happy so that kept me on for a while I don’t remember if I ever slept that day but my body was so weak I couldn’t do a lot of movements I felt like a very thin old man with osteoporosis my lungs certainly had a problem if I did some walking around I would feel like I ran a hundred miles and can’t catch breath I was so exhausted. It’s probably the hardest thing ever to do to yourself. I was having my doubts that I will probably live longer than 4 days this way because I really depended on the hot water and sweating out more water so I was very worried that I will be found alive in this condition by my family but then was thinking what if this is the only way and what if my brain is manipulating me into survival. I really didn’t know anything but I knew I can’t think clearly and straight about anything. Decided I should just go on and let what happen happen.
I’m now on my 7th day and it’s 3 in the morning. I was so bored and I suddenly got a message from an internet friend and he wanted to voice chat so.. with my mouth being so sticky I pretended I was having a cold that that’s why my voice is weird. I couldn’t talk though I can’t even hear myself talking because of this air sounding in my ears. I told him I’m staying at a hotel bec my family traveled somewhere and left the house with no food or water (total bluff and nonsense) and so now I don’t have hot water to shower. He told me I can just check out order a refund and go home. I don’t know why but as he said that it sounded very interesting.
I felt like I could be just wasting time and that this is actually not guaranteed. I thought maybe if I go back to drinking and eating I will think of a better method because I obviously need an instant death not torture before death. I should also have a little fun before going or at least be in my right mind state, I should take that money and eat and drink all I want. I though had to think of a better method first before anything and I thought it should be cyanide. Thought of all this while still talking to my friend and as I have convinced myself of using another method I couldn’t hold it together and drank from an ice cube tray and as that wasn’t enough I went for the sink’s water, both waters tasted terrible so I drank only a little and felt sick afterwards (for a lot of reasons apparently).
I checked out at 4:30 in the morning and I know I’m in huge trouble if I went home bec my brothers called me on my phone over 40 times. Before I went home I drank a lot of fluid and ate just one sandwich, trying to eat more was hard because I felt like I couldn’t breath. I got away with it, I had to lie of course. I vomited for 2 days after that and couldn’t eat but little, whenever I ate I could feel the food passing through my chest and then I could hardly breath. I was so light that if someone poked me I would fall. This was actually very painful I almost collapsed a few times.
I had my first OBE 3 days ago, I was just relaxing on my bed after suffering a stroke that I couldn’t breath from and just in a sec I felt like my body is falling off a balcony it literally felt like I’m falling beneath myself then I saw what can’t be described it’s like a totally different vision, I felt a gentle vibration while moving my head and hand, since the begining of this experience though I was hearing a very scary noise like that noise a game controller makes but from a person’s mouth, I felt like there was a lot of “people” in my room I only felt it through energy, I knew I was having an OBE and I was always curious to how it’s like but I was too scared so I was trying to open my eyes and as i was trying to do so there was like a black thing infront of my bed telling me in an unhuman tone that I don’t need to go back now and that freaked me out even more then I opened my eyes, after I did I felt like if this was the spirit world then I don’t want to die. Anyway I’m fine now and I’m no longer anorexic. Sorry if I bored you with my story. I’m 19 years old by the way.