For general topics related to the site.
I am new to this site and I was wondering what does your comment is awaiting moderation mean? Does it mean that the person who made the post that you commented on has to approve your comment?
This is probably going to be long. I just needed somewhere to write out what has happened these last few years so I can get my thoughts in order. I’m sorry.
I first noticed that I was apathetic with my emotions when I was 10. I didn’t think much of it then – only wondered for a little while as to why I was different to the rest of my classmates. It never really bothered me much, that is, until I got to high school. I suppose that I should mention that I’m an introvert. I don’t have very many close friends, and none that I […]
You think I’m fat? Cool. You think I’m a loner ? Fine by me, love the comment. You think I’m ugly? What wait….sorry I was looking for a fuck to give.
It amazes me that people could be so cruel and uncaring towards another person. They whisper and point, my mother always told me pointing was rude as was bullying. It hurts honestly to hear what I already know. I guess the words coming from someone else’s mouth hurts a lot worse. I look in an reflective surface and immediately I feel self conscious.
I hide it. Laugh it off and joke around. It’s not that hard, […]
So I have a boyfriend that I have just started going out with and I’ve known him for six years. We met in a residential program. I was there because I didn’t have a family and I was struggling with mental illness (which I still struggle with). Thankfully now I have a family. I got adopted at the age of sixteen. I am now nineteen. But this guy has liked me for a long time, and now he says he loves me but I’m not sure I even like him in the way I should like a boyfriend. I’ve always had difficulties in relationships. I […]
iam a 27 year old male…at the age of 21 my mother (who had divorced my father when i was 9) eloped with a man i had never met and left me with no where to go…i ended up roomating with a guy that was a drug addict and had a mental problem..i became greatly depressed as i was already suffering from social anxiety..and fell into heavy drinking..i would drink almost everyday…and i couldnt stop..this went on for years until i had a nervous break down at the age of 26 and i was put on to anti psychotic medications which i take every night…(alot […]
Are you still here?
I keep trying and nothing is ever good enough for anyone. I give him everything he wants, do whatever he tells me but that’s not enough. I just want to be done…with everything.
Many people here frequently talk about ending it all and even make plans but never actually do it. Some say they stay for their family, some their faith, and some are just curious about what the next day will bring. So what’s your reason for sticking around?
Out of all my friends I am one of the most suicidal unfortunately.
When I admitted to The clinic, my closest friend had already been in here for a month prior due to an Eating Disorder.
When I’d get severely down she’d always say “we can do it together” I always said “no. I refuse to drag you down with me” and I meant it. Jess doesn’t actually want to die, she has an ED that wrecks her life but I can see hope for her. She’d been well once, she can be well again.
And then I met Britt. Both these girls were so much […]
Is it possible that suicidal depression is a biological response to over-population?
Maybe I’m confused because I’m on this site using a phone, but in my profile it requires me to provide an email address. Is that shown publically? If so, is there a way to hide it? Don’t exactly want to belong to this type of website if it’s not anonymous, lol. Talk about crazy. (No offense to anyone that doesn’t hide it. )
so should I make a new email address for this site or is it not shown publicly?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDM2QRW-kD0
After falling this far, it should be easy to slit my throat and end a lifetime of misery within 10 minutes. Have I got the balls?
I’ve stayed away from this website for some months now I was trying to make things in my life better but I was kidding myself I’m no much better then I was 2/3 months ago. my self-worth my soul are damaged and they are unrepairable I’m lost and homesick for a place that dose not exist I’ve tried to get on with life for my loved ones I’ve pretended to be well I cart stand to break my mothers heart anymore I don’t wont to hurt her and i know suicide is a permanent solution and they do say its for a temporary problem but […]
Today as I got up for school, my mother came into my room.. telling me if I don’t go to school she’s going to kick me out of the house .. I’m only 16, I can’t drive, I don’t have a job, and I have no friends .. As I finished getting ready for school my mother tells me she mad me breakfast. I informed her I wasn’t hungry, she thew the food In the hallway, shoved me against the wall and repeatedly pushed me, therefore we moved into the kitchen. I told her I wasn’t riding with her, she grabbed me by my arm […]
I’ve already had mine kissed. I wish everyone who has scars know how it feels to have someone who loves you kiss your scars, and promising you with their lips, that they’ll never let you do it again.
Tonight I wait.
I don’t know what I’m waiting for really but there’s nothing else to do.
I know I am worthy. I know life has it’s spectacular moments, its rare gems, its perfections and its laughter.
Yet here I am, full of hopelessness. Crazy with shame. Riddled with feelings of inadequacy.
Tears are rolling as I write.
I am despondent.
My daughter sleeps so I am silent in my anguish. In fact anguish is a strong word, maybe too strong for this state.
I am almost indifferent. Definitely a bit pissed off.
Ive lost my spark. Not sure if it’s worth chasing… I want to..
But I’m afraid and oh so so sad.
I […]
This pain I’m having needs to stop already I can’t sleep it feels as if someone put a knife through me the pain. I’m having is sharpness just when will it ever end my damn scoliosis is such a bother n I feel as if I can’t really enjoy life I know I have appointments to see doctors for them to help me n shit but I can only wait so long till my breaking point. It’s such a ***** to deal with I cry when I’m alone n when my friends or family r around I hide my feeling I don’t want them to […]
Karma
As I sit under this empty tree,
I wonder how life could be so cruel to me.
I give my all to those around,
But karma doesn’t come back and surround.
There are no answers that I can see,
To ease this pain inside of me.
But it will end sooner than you know,
When all I have to do is let go.
I cannot wait for karma to return,
The love for my soul that I most yearn.
All I hope is you learm from this,
To take more care of those you might miss.
D.A
.
.
author- me 2013
I had many more poems, but sadly I lost the only copies when I couldn’t afford my storage shed […]
I RAISED MY SON TELL HE WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD, THEN HIS MOTHER DECIDED TO TAKE HIM BACK. HE IS NOW 25 YEARS OLD. I WASNT ABLE TO TALK TO HIM TELL HE WAS 16 YEARS OLD WHEN HIS MOTHER WANTED ME TO TAKE HIM BACK. HE DIDNT WANT TO COME BACK TO WASHINGTON, BECAUSE HE HAD A GIRL FRIEND THERE AND DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE HER.
HIS MOTHER THEN THROUGH HIM OUT AT 16, BECAUSE MY SON AND HIS MOTHERS BOYFRIEND DIDNT GET ALONG. ANYWAY, ME AND MY SON STARTED TALKING THROUGH EMAIL. ONE DAY HE WOULDNT ANSWER MY EMAILS FOR ALMOST SIX MONTHS. […]