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:'( :'( :'( I don’t know how to start from but the pain is killing inside me..my granny woke up at 5 in the morning and came over to my house just to convince me to go to school..she was ill but still she came..what if i lose her? i turned her down…i despise myself…but i had no other option..i dont want to go to school.
i feel like dying..the guilt is killing me… :'( :'( :'(
Got a new shrink who says I should consider in-patient treatment.
Seriously don’t want to.
Any clue from anyone who has been down that path would be helpful.
So, if you’ve ever voluntarily gone, what was your typical day like?
Everyday at work I come here instead of doing what I should. i love to help people, I really do. I think that we all deserve kindness and patience and love and respect but don’t give it to each other. Life seems shitty.
I’m living with someone who use to be one of my best friends and someone who I thought was my friend. The former BF slept with someone I was sleeping with. It makes me angry yes, but what makes it terrible is that we had a conversation about their desire for each other where I communicated I would be uncomfortable with them sleeping […]
http://play.textadventures.co.uk/games/cdf3rzcv60mbayjia3paig/Sacrifice3.html
I don’t know, I just felt like writing something. It takes about 5-10 minutes to play through the whole thing, so whoever does so: Please tell me whether you liked it or not.
I’m 52, I have severe mental illness, I haven’t worked for my living in twenty years, I have a son that I never see. I live alone and have virtually no friends anymore.
I don’t listen to music, I can barely keep my house clean, I don’t cook anymore, I am on the internet all the time because I’ve really got nothing else.
I have N, I am storing it for future use, I don’t want to upset my mother so I’m trying to hold on until she passes.
Should I not be here? Sorry I am not some guy hanging out with his mates in a virtual […]
I can’t trust anyone, not even myself. This feeling unsettles me and my world is built on quicksand.
I couldn’t even stay home by myself earlier because I know there is danger in the silence. My brain explores every unsavory character flaw I possess. I hate being this way. I can’t help but tongue the wounds and look for new ones.
I don’t want to die. At least I don’t think I do. Maybe I’m wrong. Sometimes I know I need to though. Lately there’s a lot of knowing. Like right now. I stare at my daughter and I know she deserves better than […]
Comrade. Somebody. Meet me at New Mexico.
Through the valley, of the shadow, and life. Oh, comrade. A dying saint.
Lucifer has captured me. Echo, abyssal, and oblivion.
Today, let me know. Progression, evolution.
To the death, is life. The whimsical and enchanted lost people.
My name is Morlock, but I am dead. The undead. Resuscitation.
The power, the sands of hell. Contort reality like a space wormhole.
In a world to conquer our fantasy. Here, in the mystery.
What’s going to happen, I don’t know, from where I am.
Yo, second hit it.
Let’s go, we gonna roll. Can we rock and roll.
One day, may […]
Entry 3
Beer beer I’m drinking beer. I’m gonna get drunk and overcome my fear.
I couldn’t afford it but that’s okay I don’t need money where I’m going anyway. Only a gold coin to pay the man so he can ferry me far away from this land.
All the bad memories and actions past, I’ll make them end very fast. The daily stresses and endless fights will surely be over after tonight. I’m done and spent I’ll tell you that. I don’t have to worry this beer will make me fat.
Goodbye mum goodbye dad I’m so sorry that I was so bad. Goodbye lover who was only […]
My girlfriend and I of over two years are going off to college this fall. She thought she was going to the same school as me until just a few weeks ago she decided to change for the better if her education. She going to a different state. We truly are in love and aren’t one of those bullshit high school relationships. I’m gonna miss her so much and she’s all il ever think about the entire time. Now I don’t even want to go to college. I just want to be with her. Any advice?
Hello all, this is my 6th entry from my journal (wrote this a while ago, just stumbled across it again actually)
As always, comments appreciated
Time has gone by and no marked improvement of my depression…what am i gonna do with myself, those people on the phone told me that no depression lasts forever… i think they were lying just to make me stay and watch me suffer a little more. Pills pills pills, after pills, having to look at my family each day and fail them again and again and watching their face as they feel sorry for me…asking the sky for a miracle so i can stand on my own two feet and live on my own and not depend on others… well oh well…. how marvelous. these […]
“You’re being selfish”, the words that any suicide debater wants to hear. Do they think this statement helps us. We already feel like a failure, or dumb, or fat, or ugly, or useless, but now we are selfish, thanks so much for the added negative title! In my perspective, they are the ones being selfish! They want me to keep living in this miserable world. They are not living my life, so to me they are the ones being selfish. I am already at a breaking point , does people dealing with a suicide debater, really think adding another negative title to my persona helps? […]
The above video uploaded by “Information Overload” portrays a 13 year old female who tags each member of the boy-band One Direction in a Twitter post, threatening to break her dog’s neck if they do not follow her. The pictures used on the account of this girl were used weeks before in another similar post. This “prank” is becoming a trend, apparently. Pictures of cats in blenders, children bound by masking tape, and a dog held at gunpoint. Maybe it’s just me, but this is not a funny joke. Comments? I can have very harsh, very sadistic humor at times, but I have never attempted or staged any […]
I am my feet, and my ways. Guided by peace to this day. I need my needs, cause I am sand. So I will slip in to your hands, and beyond your reach.
I speak the words holding me, like clashing these bricks and these swords, cutting deep through my soul. I reap the rewards for good seeds and still retain some sort of piece to myself.
I am my feet, no, not my name. Guided by hate through this game. I need release from this place and the chains still draining me until this day.
I am my search and my sins. Guided by […]
We fought last night and the harsh truth came out. My deepest fears swam to the surface drawn out by his mouth. I begged and told him my fears and troubles and they were confirmed by telling me they were uncared for and deserved. My being, dignity, pride and any settlement in self were mashed all by his sewer. My place and image in the workplace shifted to the bad plain because of him and his embarrassing mouth trying all too hard to gain masculinity. I am uncomfortable in my skin, squirming with shame to get out because of him. Him,him him. I am apparently […]
I feel like I’m only attractive for mosquitos, right now. I’ve been having a terrible day. But who cares ? Really. Nobody does. When I don’t have any specific drama to tell to people, I have no right to be depressed. I probably invent myself a mental illness just to get attention. Yeah. Why not.
I’m kinda drunk. I know it’s dumb. I don’t even like to drink. It a self-destructive pattern. I wanna be damaged enough so people will say, “right yeah, I understand why you would give up, I would too. “
lol. Like it’s possible. People are all liars and they try to make us […]
I wonder if I’m doing what’s best for me, or whether this decision will cause me more pain. I sit and think if there will ever be a day when I let go of this fear thats weighing me down. I wish for the day when I can love myself truly and be happy with who I am and where I’m at. For the day that I let myself fall hopelessly in love and get married and have kids, for the day when I’m not too afraid to let myself be happy. I wish and I hope for that day when for once my happiness […]
Do you ever just want to stab the fuck out of your arm?
pleas grab a coffe, relax and enjoy 🙂
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