For general topics related to the site.
i hurt today very badly. but im trying to live. im trying to live.
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General
Being alone and being lonely are completely different notions. Being alone is the act of being secluded or apart from other human beings…Being lonely is the emotional detatchment you get from having no emotional connections. You can be in a stadium full of people and still be lonely. That is what I am, lonely. I revel in being alone. I love it. I can walk around my apartment naked if I really wanted to and there would be no one to complain but myself. And up until recently, I never minded be lonely, either. But now, I’m losing sight of any real reason to continue. […]
Do you REALLY think its a gift
a gift that you dont want
a gift that haunt your whole life
a gift thats makes people uneasy
a gift that people think that your a fucking weirdo
a gift that people makes fun of you
well sorry to tell you this
BEING BI/GAY IS NOT A GIFT
some people learn to live with it
but some dont
I dont
The site says no hate, but there’s plenty of hate.
I hate being me. I hate existing. I hate living in this world. This trap.
I hate being alone, rejected, unable to live.
I hate that anyone pretends that things get better.
I hate that suicide is never an option.
I hate being forced to live when I know full well it is hopeless.
I don’t want this. I don’t want to sit here and struggle any longer. I don’t want to have to struggle my entire life. I just want to sit back and fade away.
I go to martial arts and I practice, fine. An hour of distractions while standing […]
People seem to be constantly posting their stories on this site in the hope that people will just read and acknowledge each other’s difficult life stories so I thought, as I am no different in wanting to be heard, I would do the same.
I legitimately don’t have an extremely difficult life so I’m not really anything to feel sorry for. I’ve had a rocky (to say the least) upbringing from my father but my mother and rest of family have always been really good to me. School for me (I’m 18 now and I’ve finished Six Form (senior years(?) to you Americans)) was just me […]
When you look around for help…and see no one.
I am so exhausted from this long fight. I wish I had the courage to carry through with my plans.
Tired of life, tired of trying, tired of it all. Geezer crispies, no matter what I do or say or anything, I fuck up and no one likes me. I try to help, I try to make them smile, I try to make people forget their problems and what not… it doesn’t work. I am hopeless, worthless, useless, disgusting, stupid, need to go. I’m unhelpful. I’m not able to BE helped. I wish I could just lay down and disappear for life, but, I can’t. I’m too chicken to suicide, I’m too cowardly to run away, I won’t do stupid shit. What the fuck am […]
I seriously think I am throwing my life in the garbage, but sadness has eaten the last bit of awareness I had left in my brain and I discovered a profound love for drugs…. So I guess after the strong tides I’ve tried to swim through, it’s time I float on this raft for a while, just for a little bit. It makes me feel secure. I still see my dream island far in the horizon, but I need rest. I’ll have to start swimming again soon if I don’t want to be carried away on an unsafe shore. But for now, I am just […]
What’s up with all these u tube video attachments? Stick to your personal stories please. We’ve all heard The Rolling Stones.
dtm is what we make befor we die ay one who has had a near deth or has died for sevrel secionds (welcome to the club of almost there) will have felt this i first tryed dmt when i tryed killing my self for the 6th time and didunt understand it till at a gig i tryed dtm knowing what it was dtm is the cem in your brine that carms you down to die with out dmt you would spass out on the floor like in a bad scary film so the question will it help you pull the trigger no it whont if your looking […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLPsZoF8q1U
this is what i put on when im sad or takeing acid for a trip or both allthough i would say no acid when your in a low spot can stend your mind down a bad trip
I have been Googling and found plenty of information on accidental deaths via the “choking game”, but no info on intentionally dying via that method or what it feels like to die via that method (whether its painful or not).
So my question is, is the general method of dying via choking game painless? I’m assuming you would feel high and pass out before any pain begins but I want to be sure.
I’m doing this today evening. Don’t know what to do now. I packed everything I’m gonna need (not much, I won’t have a lot to carry), now I just need to get dressed and then I’m leaving but I have no idea where and how should I spend all those hours until evening. Can’t talk to anyone today because I have a big mouth and I’d just tell them everything. I regret not finding a suicide partner a few days earlier, when I was thinking about it, a day spent with another person wouldn’t be so long and boring. I miss my friends so badly […]
I hear all these people who talk about God’s plan for people, and how everything that happens is by “His” will. Personally I don’t really believe in that, for a couple reasons.
#1 If everything really is all part of a plan, then there would never be any cause for worry about consequences. This site is full of people who think that suicide is an acceptable way to end your life (I’m included in that category) but most of society especially religious nuts talk about how its such a sin. But if you do end up killing yourself, isn’t that part of the plan too? So […]
“Away From The Sun”
by 3 Doors Down
It’s down to this
I’ve got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I’ve done
I miss the life
I miss the colours of the world
Can anyone tell where I am
‘Cause now again I’ve found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I’m so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again
I’m over this
I’m tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling’s gone
There’s nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I […]
I googled suicide and this website popped up, I was aiming more for methods, but this will do for now. Makes me feel not so alone. Basicly, ive been through hell. My whole life, is just hell. Im tired of fighting. If im going to die one day why cant I just go ahead and get it over with. Its my life. I should get to decide when to end it. Not some drunk driver or abusive boyfriend. Me.
I’m not sure why. I just feel so surrounded by death. why are people in my family dying but not me? I know I’m fucked when I die, God will be so disappointed.. but why am I still alive? I have a good family, a few good friends. I’m not ill. I’m just so worn out and depressed I don’t see the point in life. it’s all so temporary.
used to ask God every single day for 38 months straight in jail to just kill me. lost who I thought was the love of my life. but I got past it and felt better. now I […]
I am alone. I hate the feeling
Lost all motivation. Don’t care about my life. Only care about my cats. Battling mental illness for three years. Invested a lot of time and money. Ruined my successful career. Keep deferring start of graduate school at one of the top universities in the world because I can’t find meaning or purpose to it. Totally black-balled in my line of work. For my last job interview, a former colleague was asked to inquire with me as to my “mental state” right now. If one more person tells me that I have so much going for myself, I will just lose it. My entire family (except for […]