For general topics related to the site.
I hate being in love. It makes me very depressed. I become bitter towards my partners. I just want to end it all. I can’t be with them because I hate them sometimes, and I can’t be without them because I’m miserable. I just want to die -_- I have nothing. I have no job, no money, no father. I miss my home, england, I hate where I live, Canada, I’m nobody.
There is no order to most of my life.
Just as there won’t be much order to this post; my mind yields only things of its own nature and characteristics.
My poor mind, relatively young yet feeling so old. Worn down, like a war ship incessantly buffeted and berated by the interminable winds howling across the vast expanse of sea and darkness; never letting up, allowing no time for reprieve.
The wood creaks, the boards swell with moisture, and the sails test the very limits of the ropes that hold them, seeming as though they might snap at any moment.
But there is no ship. You know this, as you […]
Well lets start with this. My first suicide attempt was when i was 12, its only gotten worse from there. I was so horrified from even the thought of ever wanting to hurt myself. Then my mind just got so damaged with my own horrible thoughts. I tried to hang myself with a belt in my bedroom when no one was home. Back then no one knew about my depression. Not my family, friends, no one. Yeah, life sucks, right?
A few years ago I was high on life. Had a good job, 2 great kids, a home, 2 cars. Seemed like the perfect life. Then i met this guy. He cheated on me, beat me, raped me. The list goes on and on. When I tried to break up with him he would kick my door in or break a window. I felt i had no choice but to give in. I sent my kids to live with there father (I did it for them but now they hate me). I tried to kill myself. Waking up in shock trauma was not fun. I gave […]
frog:
take a birth in a well
ribbit
die
human:
take a birth in planet earth
speak
die
only difference is frog dont have chance to visit sp
She saw my scars. She traced my arm while at work, and just said, “you’re not weak, you’re just too strong to hold it in”. She doesn’t know I like ger, but there was…tenderness there. I’ve never once had that. But I’ve learned from past mistakes, she hasn’t seen the real scars, not my shoulder, not my sides, she doesn’t know the monster within. And I won’t show her.
Im new here and i found this site by typing in im so fucked up in the mind. Cause I really am. If you knew me you wouldnt believe it. I run cross country and track really fast. Get told I’m intelligent all the tune. I love computers and gaming. I used to use it as an escape spending hours in my ruin on a game to avoid reality. Then i started smoking in eight grade. I slowly went down hill and od’d on pills. This year was my freshman year i got alcohol poisoning. Here recently i started smoking weed and you know i […]
Okay so I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot recently. Actually I was online trying to see what over the counter medicine would be best to overdose with… and then I came upon this site. I figured I might as well talk to you guys on here and see what you think since I can’t talk to anyone that I really know without them wanting to not be around me and trying to avoid me like I have a disease or something. Ok so Im 17, I first tried to kill myself when I was 13 but over dosing on seroquil, obviously it didn’t work […]
New piece that Shakinbakin and I put together. I wanted to give him something that he could really sink his teeth into so I wrote a progressive-themed piece for him to play with. It’s sort of a new style of writing for me, for that reason, but I think it turned out well – mostly thanks the Shake’s incredible jamming out on the track, tbh.
Like normal, the poem is posted below for anyone who wants to read along.
>inb4 extend a metaphor much?
Orbit
A fresh sun dawns on the face of a new son
The opening refrain of a song as yet unsung
A race that’s not […]
My mother was here a week or so ago for my kid’s bat mitzvah, as were my friends. She called today just to say, “hi,” something she never does. Hmm…must be that since she was a narcissistic **** all weekend which was noticed by all, she now has to do some damage control. Sorry, not going down THAT rabbit hole. Not this time. Fucking ****.
does that mean you don’t need to be suicidal?
So I attempted suicide in 2001? I would have succeeded if a certain someone didn’t stick his nose where it didn’t belong. Here I am 13 years later and find myself feeling exhausted and tired again. Life truly is cruel and full of evil and corruption.
Somewhere online today I read to wait 3 days before acting on my feelings; why wait? Then I found myself here and don’t understand why I’m even typing this. All my letters are written, all important papers are out and on the kitchen table…… unless someone hands me the winning lottery ticket or changes whom I’ve become; my life will […]
“I can be very cruel. I have been taught by masters.” — Catherine Sloper, as portrayed by Olivia DeHavilland in “The Heiress”
I decided I won’t leave the site. Mostly out of loneliness. This past month has been an unbearable hell, losing two people I really, really cared for. I’ve been lost as to what to do with myself. I’ve been really battling just ending it, and now because I’ve been such a numb, lonely, distraught mess, I don’t even know if I deserve something as easy as suicide.
Maybe I deserve to suffer for another 60+ years. And I know people come and go out of your life, but too many people go and never come back. I literally have no one outside my immediate family (meaning only my […]
So some of you may remember one of my earlier posts where I talked about my jogging group and this girl I talked to. Even though the first time it was pretty awkward, we had some nice conversations over the last few times. And she even smiles or laughs sometimes when I say something funny (at least when I say something, I don’t say a lot though). And sometimes she falls back or speeds up to run next to me even if we’re not saying anything. And she always smiles and says good bye after the jogging. I know I suck at interpreting those “signs” […]
It’s all too fucking much for me…I seem to fail at everything.
I failed in school and high school
I’ve failed in love
I’ve failed at sports
I’ve failed to achieve a normal social life
I’ve failed to continue my musical career because of being a pathetic,self-hating idiot
I’ve failed as a son
I’m only a financial burden on my family,who’s still keeping my useless ass in high school,and for what?I’ll just end up working at a McDonalds for minimum salary and spend all my money on drugs.I know I’ll just disappoint them,like I do with everyone…
I disappointed them when they found out about my mental problems…They wanted a normal son,not this […]
Hey guys, it’s been a while. Just thought I’d update about my shitty life.
Well, the night before the last day of school was…interesting. I know I had tried to kill myself in the past. Multiple times. But this time…I could feel it. I felt calm. I felt ready. My head was clear and my decision had been made…My rents were out in the garage doing whatever and I was inside alone. I grabbed a total of 63 aspirin (I know probably could have grabbed something better) and downed at least 13 or 14 of them. I had made sure to read the bottle and it […]
I first had thoughts of suicide when I was six years old. I don’t know why or what triggered it. I just remembered, that there were reports of people committing suicide by jumping off buildings in the newspaper, and I was, for some reason, unhappy, and wanted to hurt myself.
I remembered bashing my head on the tiled floor of my room, then climbing up on a high chair and jumping off, hoping I’d snap my necks when I land.
I remembered banging my head on hard walls, like I am trying to silence screams filling up my head.
I remembered being at school, unhappy. My classroom was […]
Hey everyone. I’m 24 years old, currently in grad school. I lead a relatively comfortable life except for a few cases of domestic violence (from family and partners) and a sexual harassment experience. I work, and I volunteer, and I have a few hobbies I enjoy.
But something I’ve been feeling lately leaves me hopeless, stuck, and miserable.
I’m working at an internship I hate. I thought I’d like it but I hate being in front of a computer for eight hours a day. The thought of working hard through college and grad school to just sit at a desk for the rest of my life sounds […]
Hello
How funny is this life I love sb but I have to run away from her.if you’re asking why because my last loves are dead and I don’t want to kill another person even I have no best friend because all of my best friends has gone somewhere not because of me but because of their destiny It’s silly but I have nobody to talk and love.
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