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I’m afraid of love

by ClairDeLune 6/6/2014

written by ClairDeLune

and any other positive feelings. Not because I dislike positive emotions, but because I know they will not last long. And once they are over, you’re off even worse than before. It’s like life is constantly trying to show me how happy I could be only to smash all these hopes on the next occasion. I know the same thing is used in sleep deprivation where they let a subject get close to falling asleep only to wake him up with a slap in the face. It’s torture and forbidden with good reason.

My brain is naive enough to fall for the trick every single time. […]

6/6/2014 4 comments

Ghhh…

by hechatis 6/6/2014

written by hechatis

Don’t know how much longer I can keep deluding myself. So long as I don’t think of my life – or rather lack there of – I just keep on existing, surfing through web, looking at completely inane stuff… Sometimes I read something or see something and though it has nothing to do with me and at times isn’t even all that sad I’ll feel tears welling up in my eyes. Then I’ll find a way to distract myself and pretend all is fine with me again. (Even though every moment I’m awake I know it’s not – I know I’m not alright)

Then my parents […]

6/6/2014 3 comments

the pleasure of oh*

by Bisban 6/6/2014

written by Bisban

Oh, the sound of the magical lord.

Smile. Take me, will I ever go dance.

Funky. Oh, brother. Sister. Oh, sister.

This entire net of space would of been my bus.

Here, where I will create a new order. A flower.

But my half decapitated truth and deformed ego.

Inflamed, hexed. The world is indeed a cold place.

One versus the world, I always hear the sound of the chain.

Damn…

What can ever be the way, for me.

Oh, for the bounty.

Vowed, I swear it.

Take me to the land.

Take me to the land, oh.

6/6/2014 0 comment

Ugh…. :(

by InvisibleGirl 6/6/2014

written by InvisibleGirl

I haven’t posted in a while… Â I guess thats because I haven’t had anything to post about. Â Sure I’ve felt like shit basically every day since my last post but I didn’t know why. But today? Â Today is different. Â Why? Â You make ask. Â Because these two girls in my class decided to treat me like shit, but then again what else is new. Â Anyway over the year we get a weekly packet that we do for homework and a daily sheet we have to do everyday. Â At the end of the year, (Tuesday) we have to turn in a binder with certain things from through […]

6/6/2014 2 comments

Because it’s always raining in my head.

by alina_01 6/6/2014

written by alina_01

I know the difference between what is wrong and what is right. I know what I probably should do and what I choose to still do. I am AFRAID absolutely terrified because there is no real hope this time around. Why can’t anyone hear me or even see that I’m just scared?! I know the mistakes I’m making I know how my current decisions are hurting me. But i’m scared to be happy i’m scared to enjoy life, so scared that I’d rather just die now to avoid it. I don’t want to have a friend that I connect with and have the most awesome […]

6/6/2014 14 comments

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by quaero 6/6/2014

written by quaero

The note is complete. not really the best but its fine. but even now, when i am this close, i am not sure. its still looking like a hazy dream. David455 once asked here – “Is suicide romantic?” i can now definitely understand this question. but he went through the whole process. even now, when i can do it any day, its looking like a romantic idea.

I am not sure. Have i tried enough? ofcourse i have. there is no try left. being in the middle is a shitty situation. all you can do is rot. i do not suffer enough to do it without […]

6/6/2014 99 comments

Out Of Options

by Lashae 6/6/2014

written by Lashae

The Rope Is Tied . . .

& I Got All Bunch Of Meds

But Something Is Keeping Me From Ending It

I Dont Know What Is

This Life Is Draining Me ,

Sorry Tyree, & Family . . .

If I Choose To Go , It Wasnt Just Your Faults ,

6/6/2014 3 comments

So, what am I here for?

by Sitar 6/6/2014

written by Sitar

Hello.

I’m not quite sure where to start off, but I feel so useless; as if my existence had no meaning at all.

You see, I started to cut when I was around 15 years old, and the people I loved just kept using me. I felt so ugly, and worthless, and continued cutting. Thing is, I stopped cutting for a while, but I had to do so again, since I had depression again; this time with suicidal thoughts.

I was about to kill myself, when this wonderful guy appears (he has loved me for around 1 year and a half) and suddenly makes everything better. And you […]

6/6/2014 2 comments

Lost our animal nature?

by elliecats 6/6/2014

written by elliecats

This morning I was meditating on sexual abuse because I was abused until I was about 10 or 11 and I’m having a hard time dealing with the grief. And I was asking myself: why are there so many people who stand by and let it happen?

Perfect example: dad abuses kid and mom pretends she does not know, but OF COURSE she knows. She might notice her kid is a little “off”, but thinks they’re still upset about being punished for mouthing off last week. She sees the cuts on her kid (which the kind did him or herself)Â but buys the story about the […]

6/6/2014 2 comments

Bedbugs R Us – Rant

by elliecats 6/6/2014

written by elliecats

I only have one “friend” locally in town and she is dumber than fuck. She has an unbelievable bedbug infestation – so bad that they are living in her oven. If you know anything about bedbugs, you know that they like to live near their prey (and she doesn’t stay long by the oven) and they don’t live inside metal structures (generally) unless there are so goddamn many of them that they run out of other places to live in the house. This is my friend’s situation. I call her dumb because she refuses to admit she has them and refuses to take any steps […]

6/6/2014 3 comments

by Bisban 6/6/2014

written by Bisban

Alakazam! Is there a hell.

Yes. Life is conscious. Afterlife – next generation conscious.

An army of death, follows. Life is everything and one, heaven and hell.

The present. The now. I am the child of oblivion.

The sound of doom. Guide me back, I need to burst in the fire.

I am the walker of death, calling. In my face, forever to nevermore.

A fish that wants to bloom into a flower. Walk me to the nexus.

6/6/2014 18 comments

two types of depression

by addicted 6/6/2014

written by addicted

1. silly- kids used it to bunk school,gf/bf ditched, no money, not beautiful body, lost/no Â job, not enough money, not enough talent,…etc.

2. realism-allowing thoughts that most people will not dare to because they are intense, conflicts with survival. Â existential nihilism, Lost passion to do something. All human thing look like a foolish.

Which category are you belong to?

6/6/2014 9 comments

My friends…

by bloo d y 6/6/2014

written by bloo d y

Hi, me again. I don’t know what I am really saposto post on this but I do know that what I have already had people say, and the advice they have given, that this is a good community, like no other I have ever seen on the Internet, or even in real life. Call me morbid but I think to be in a community and act the way that I have seen so far, something must have gotten fucked up in your life, but that dose not make you bad, worthless, or less meaningfully than anyone else in the world now dose it. Now to […]

6/6/2014 6 comments

humility seeks tranquility

by Bisban 6/6/2014

written by Bisban

the music of doom always appears.

my heart outside my mouth and I can’t breathe.

and everything more tries to kill me.

no one hears when someone really dies.

I will forever walk in doom. my fate of infinite curse.

I can’t even feel the music that I listen to. Spirit of death, I am only an echo.

the maximum jewel evolution is inside the black beast.

I want to scream, so loud.

wishing I was alive in the first place.

Naruto wouldn’t have left me behind, I don’t think.

To the world. This light never made it through the tunnel.

Help me, to go die in peace. White Lighter, awaken.

Oracle. Save me or let […]

6/6/2014 0 comment

Myth of Sisyphus

by addicted 6/6/2014

written by addicted

1. a guy sentenced to spent eternity pushing a rock up a mountain. only to have it roll back down to bottom

2. that guy had no meaning

3. HumansÂ who don’t believe in god, heaven, hell all theyÂ have is struggle because in the end theyÂ are condemned to lose.

hence

Humans who believe in god are cowards and foolish.

Humans who don’t believe in god are deadly dumb to live because human life is likeÂ Sisyphus.

6/6/2014 8 comments

Alone

by weareinfinite_13 6/6/2014

written by weareinfinite_13

I used to be popular. Grades and everything was perfect. But the girls I considered my friends weren’t friends at all. They bullied me and I let it go on for quite some time. Ripping my journals, calling me names, making fun of the way I dress, spreading rumor, making me cry, and laughing at my failures. That’s when I ended my friendship with them. It just became worse. I started talking to new people, making new friends and they started making and spreading rumors to them about me in an attempt to stop then from talking to me. I became friends with a couple […]

6/6/2014 2 comments

Life is just another word for death

by iwillmakeitgoaway 6/6/2014

written by iwillmakeitgoaway

My life hasnt been living…its just been a slow and painful trip down to the grave….no one gives a shit about me…if I were to drop dead no one would care. Would anyone care to know why I want to slit my wrists every night? would it matter if I did???

6/6/2014 2 comments

I wish I wasn’t me.

by branbrunbren 6/6/2014

written by branbrunbren

I’m scared of being myself. Sometimes i have really bad days, & other times I’m extremely sad. My heart is broken, and I’m a huge mess. I’m scared that I will be alone forever.

6/6/2014 5 comments

by lalalonley 6/6/2014

written by lalalonley

the earth feels as though it composed of 9 billion humans, and then theres me, i fit in more with the animals, unfit here wild and chased away

6/6/2014 0 comment

It hurts so bad it’s numb

by Remnant The Unbroken 6/6/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

The light at the end blew out.

And now I’ve had it, just about.

If anyone is reading this please know,

That it wasn’t your doing that made me go.

6/6/2014 10 comments

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