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I hate feelings.
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I want to go home. I don’t understand anymore. My life is full of happiness and love, I have everything I could ever want, I like who I am. I am strong in my religion, I have lots of friends and lots of people that love me. Why am I considering suicide? I’m on medication and I go to therapy. Why am I still anxious and depressed? I’m so scared. I don’t remember how to be happy. The thought of killing myself scares me, why am I still tempted? I wish I knew how to fix this. Right now, it seems killing myself is the […]
Life is messed up that has been pretty obvious to me, yet I still find myself hurt about it. I don’t know why I hope why I even care? I’m slowly shutting down, I care less and less about any and everything.This year has been the worst of my life thus far, I’ve lost so much and there is this aching pain inside. I lost family and friends and a significant other all in a matter of months back to back. There is literally nothing left in me not a damn thing I wouldn’t care if my own family died if what little friends I […]
Do you think it’s worse to feel sadness all the time or to feel numb all the time?
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by whyyyy
written by whyyyy
I’m still alive. Miracle I can do what I do and function. This is pure pain, and we don’t sleep forever when we die. I’m scared.
I want to believe in someone, I want to believe in something, I want to believe that I can love again.
Ive always felt alone since I was a little kid. recently i lost my job, car got repoed, bills piling up, girlfriend left me, no one talks to me. ive lost 40 lbs over 5 months from not eating. I have a 12 year old son who idolizes me and hes starting to act like me, sad.
I was “happy” last year the world looked good.
I have had suicidal ideation since I was 9 or 10. I believe it is largely due to being raised by two people who pretty much daily let me know that I was unwanted and a tremendous burden. I hesitate to suck on a helium tank because I’m told that it would irreparably harm my 13 year-old daughter. I am 50 years old and cannot grasp that I matter that much, never having meant anything to my parents except to be their emotional punching bag. Sometimes my empathy is crippling, but on this point I just don’t get it.
Music isn’t helping me at all right now…..but I hope the tune I’m listening to at the moment distracts you guys for a little while. The lyrics here are quite nice. Enjoy.
I need to find a way out, out of this existance.
I’ve been living in a foreign country for 8 years. I have no friends of my own. I have a successful job, 3 beautiful kids and the person I’m married to has never understood me.
Enduring her verbal abuse on a daily basis directed at myself and my kids. If I intervene for my kids it explodes into a violent confrontation with me on the recieving end. I feel guilty everyday for not doing more to protect my innocent children.
I’m sick of having my kids see me so disconnected, silent, and unable to do more […]
I’m quite isolated from other people my age; I’m shy and feel uncomfortable around other people quite easily. I never go out and do things with friends. I have casual friends who i talk to at school, I have no real “good” friends who i regularly see out of school.
I used to get depressed quite a lot, mostly last year though. I haven’t really felt depressed in two almost two months now, though suicidal thoughts are a constant threat.
I am almost finished school, and I catch up with friends most days. But once I get home or they leave, I just feel empty. […]
It’s not the first time
My family has caused these thoughts
The thoughts of jumping
They wouldn’t care
They don’t care
They never did
They never will
They’ll never love
They’ll never care
Regardless of what people say
My family doesn’t love me
They glare at me
Wish I was better
I’m not good enough for them
I have the wrong taste in music
Disgusting fashion style
The way I think is awful
All they ever wanted was a perfect daughter
They got my sister
But then the mistake came
Me
And now they can’t live with me
So they hurt me
Glare at me
Why am i here? Why am I alive? I feel as if i’m alone. An if that’s the case the I WANT TO KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW !!!
The person I want to be is the one that has a great life because he has actual friends and a family that loves and supports him in his decision. But I know for a fact I have none of that. An i’ll tell you why.
I am not a social person. Iv’e spent my whole time after school at home not with friends. When I try to make friends I end up either trying too hard or just […]
Hello. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to die, but there always is something that stops me. I’m useless, worthless, good for nothing, stupid, ugly and fat, fat, FAT. People are really harsh on me. They even told me to go die. At the very moment i have already cut about 20 times. My parrents know about my cutting addiction, but they don’t give a fuck. I want to torture myself untill I die,but that isno longer enough for me. If anyone knows any good ways to leave this world or help me overcome this shit, please. I beg you! Help!
I don’t even know why I’m typing this to be honest, right now I feel reckless and restless and bored and tired.
I’m fed up of being poor and being tired and feeling like I’m being judged for every little thing I say and do.
I’m tired of being ugly. I hate how my face looks, with it’s stupid round jaw and lumpy nose and disgusting frizzy short hair, I hate how I look fat in every photo, I hate how I am fat, acres and acres of disgusting wobbly blotchy skin wobbling away, taking up too much space.
I hate how much I wish I could stop […]
I’m weak. I’m so very very weak and scared and just… useless.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m too mch of a coward for anything and I’m just stuck unable to move either forward or back.
My self esteem right now is at a point where I can’t see any road that wouldn’t lead to failure. I can’t do anything, I have no more strength to persevere. I’ve tried and tried and tried and all I am is a failure and I can’t pretend I’m strong and can’t force myself to be optimistic anymore.
I’ve always run away from anything hard by burying myself in books […]
Is love possible between two people who suffer from depression and have had a suicidal past? Can those two people function normally and healthily in a relationship? I wonder.
I think I subconsciously seek out guys who fit into this insane mold that I have constructed unknowingly my entire adult life. I think I look for people who are as insane as I am before I continue further on in a relationship. Is that in and of itself insane? Maybe it’s because I feel that is the only way I’ll be accepted? Because I can’t fathom anyone loving me the way I am. It’s pathetic to […]
Does anyone happen to know of a forum or chat site where we can discuss methods openly? I’m trying to figure out a way that’ll be relatively painless and not cause much of a mess. I’d like very much to go out in the comfort of my own home but without ruining the upholstery, and if it looks accidental then so much the better 🙂
I might try the hotline again.
Or now. I don’t know.
I really have the urge to overdose even if it isn’t going to work. Maybe I can duct tape my mouth shut so I choke on my vomit.
Yummy.
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
because that was the name of his dog
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner […]