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I always say things I shouldnt and I always mess things up so im just gonna stop talking to people then I cant mess anything up because there is nothing to mess up and ill be alone anyway so no one to hurt when I die
I’ll post here once. I think, and I hope
I’m just so fucking tired of life,
Of feeling like everyone hates me.
I’m tired of cutting,
I’m tired of crying,
I’m tired of life, okay?
I just really want to kill myself, but I can’t find a way. I have Ibuprofen, I could down that with Alcohol, making my liver go poof
Or I could jump off the bridge. That’ll definitely kill me. 1, the fall would be too hard. 2, the water is too cold.
Oh well, I’m too tired to figure out how. Maybe I’ll survive? What if I don’t want to survive? What if I […]
Frozen moments down the drain,
Ive been bitten by their mark.
Their coldness seeps into my veins
And crack my sullen heart.
Distorted by the raining wet,
An endless shroud of filmy grey,
I only see your silhouette
Stretched into the night then day.
My heart’s a bowl of tarnished tears
Carved by ceaseless thoughts of you,
worn ragged by the endless years
Of suffocating, singing blues.
I drink so memories decay,
to waste away’s my only duty.
so that my minds in disarray
Into an abyss of nightmarish beauty.
A rainbow made of rusty marrow
Ebbs into the dusk so dim,
Leaving a rainy arc so narrow
Of […]
Everybody thinks I’m okay, but in fact, I feel really worse and I hide it, because I want my parents to believe it’s going better. Actually, I feel more suicidal then before right now, really want to life this stupid f*cking life and world. But actualy I don’t think I have enough energy right now to kill myself, and to prepare my suicide, which makes me even feel worse. I hate it!! I just can’t even kill myself, because it’s going that worse, who would ever thought that?!
As much as I’m still dealing with the sadness of reliving Mom’s passing a year ago, I want to share these free hugs with you all here today. This was voted the #1 video on youtube….or so I’ve been told.
“I don’t mind where you come from, as long as you come to me”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4
Every time I set out to write, a book comes spilling out. I’ve deleted four fucking entries. The problems are too vast. I need to talk to someone who cares about me, someone I can be honest with, but there is no one. There is only my sister, and she has mental problems of her own and gets frustrated with other problems easily and then won’t talk to me for a long time in order to recover. I am so alone. My best friend abandoned me and I have no future. I’m 31 and my “boyfriend” treats me like crap. We both live with his […]
Breathing feels as though I’m being tormented.Waking up in the morning strains my heart that little bit more.Acting as though I’m happy infests the majority of my mind.I seek peace through knowing that leaving this world is the inevitable.I’m told to heal myself, but how is that possible when those who tell me are the problem. They’ve ruined me. I let them ruin me. All that remains are the ruins of a girl, interrupted. Breathing feels as though I’m being tormented. Waking up in the morning strains my heart that little bit more. Acting as though I’m happy infests the majority of my […]
ill never be able to accept love , i just don’t see how it is possible.I have done so much wrong. He shows me more love than anyone in my entire life ever has and yet all i can think about is jumping off that cliff or slicing my wrists and watching all the pain end, but i know that no matter how much i wish for that I could never be that selfish…..never! Â I have more than so many people in this world so please tell me why i wish of this every night, tell me why that when Someone I finally actually likes […]
i didn’t want to wake up. i was having a much better time asleep. and that’s really sad. it was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. i woke up into a nightmare.
We put lots of efforts to live and hoping for practically unattainable success.
Very small amount of that effort is enough for suicide. It is lot more easier for a bankrupt business man to suicide than rebuilt all the money he lost
Most importantly, there are lot of humans living out there for whom I can confidently say probability of success is absolutely zero.
There are good number of people who hate all things they do and also hate all things other humans do and hate their life but still struggling to live, even new born kid say this kind of living is illogical and stupid.
Hence provedÂ
i know that my parents love me and want the best for me since I’m their only daughter but they don’t have to be rude about it. I stopped cutting 2 months ago after breaking a 3 year period because of my mother. She calls me a dumba** because i forgot to wear my brace while playing basketball with the guys at my school, I don’t understand since my doctor told me I didn’t need it anymore. Not only that but when I try to talk to her calmly she makes me cry and says “Don’t be a little bi*** stop crying, you know what […]
I want to live somewhere cool
a land where palm trees grow
a place where in one hour’s drive
I’ll be in mountain snow.
Someplace with orange, tangerine, and avocado trees
where afternoon’s ocean breeze
will gently sway their leaves.
Where blonde girls in tight tops will suck
sticky popsicles
as cops pass by, wearing shorts
while riding bicycles.
City, suburbs, country too
Lots of hilly humps.
Deep blue skies and fluffy clouds
For days and weeks and months.
I’ll live somewhere near the beach
and call it paradise.
I’ll stick my toes in the sand
and think “Ah, this is nice”.
I’ll watch the sun set every night
with Heineken in hand
and thank my lucky stars I’m finally in the promised land. http://www.fodors.com/wire/Carryon-relaxing-beach.jpg
Before I write my post, I just want to say how relieving this place is. Strangely enough, every time I write a bit, after I feel better for a while. It’s like if writing a bit once in a while was a drug. But it feels goddam good to tell the world.
Sometimes I wonder why we should trust people. I have incredibly big trust issues. I really do not know who to trust. Ever.
Not my family, thats for sure… I can’t stand their judgemental “advice” .
My friends; Â I have many but none I can really truthfully talk to.
My best friend; I don’t know her sometimes. […]
Unhappy, Angry, low self esteem, Always feel like I’m outside looking in, where do I fit in? ashamed of myself, I feel so stupid, when I turn And walk away they are talking bad about me, I can feel it… I Insult you to hide my insecurity and pain, I say I Hate you when I just wanted a hug, Where was Dad when I needed his love?.. I feel like I’m Dying, Will Anyone notice or Even care?….. Years Later, Frown Lines, Eyes Weary so much mental Pain Even my body aches, I fucking give, I can’t take […]
So… I haven’t posted in a while. Most of you won’t care, others might be curious, but… Though I only posted here a few times, I thought I should give an update. An explanation.
I’m fifteen years old. I’m not an attention seeker. And I’m not faking.
A few months ago, I cracked. Years of trauma and abuse piled up until I just couldn’t take it any more. I fell into a dark place. I started cutting, stopped eating… Sometimes for weeks on end. I was miserable. Lost all of my friends. Eventually my parents took me to a counselor. But that just made things worse. I […]
It’s like I want to die but when I do something that puts my life in jeopardy I panic . its like in that moment when I have the chance to die I feel like I can’t do thi. And I think of every possible reason there is to live. Then something happens to me and I wish I did it and there is so much pain and I am angry. Why cant I do it?
I have been sitting here reading your posts and I want to break down and weep for all of you. I wish I could give each of you a hug and tell you how much I care and how my heart breaks over the pain you feel. I don’t know you, but I love you. You are worthy of love and you are worthy of life. You are worth it. I understand how difficult life can be, I have attempted suicide, but I have learned to love myself, so can you. It seems like no one is there to listen, but I am here. If […]
im a religious girl i believe in God but right about now my life is not so easy my dads away and he was the only person that i felt good with i only see him once a year and i rarely talk to him on the phone my mom… my mom is harsh on me and i understand why but i just can’t take it anymore im sixteen but she treats me like im three i have no social life outside of school and social medias my friends and she’s so mean when ever she has a problem with someone else or something im […]
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