For general topics related to the site.
I carved your name into the bullet
so everyone would know
that you were the last thing that went through my head
Category:
General
You are a weak soul and bring no happiness. You live your life, eat, sleep, talk, yet your life is in vain because you give no love. You are empty. Just kill yourself.
[what others tell me]
I originally joined this site last fall during a very dark spell. I found myself wanting to encourage others, particularly younger folks, who I feared were discouraged and without hope. Then I lost my “remembered” login password, and when I had it, I couldn’t login because the site was unavailable.
But, here I am again. I know this site can be a good place to vent or bare ones soul, and I hope it is frequently used for that, rather than a last plea for help, because … it’s the f—— Internet, and we can’t give one another a hug, or look into […]
Okay so on 3/5/2014, i was admitted into a mental facility and this is my story of being in it (YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ)
Okay so mine was because i had well attempted suicide, my friend called the cops on me after she found out and this crisis lady gave me an option which by the way was stupid. she said if i didn’t talk to her…i would have to be admitted …but truth was, that I was going to have to be admitted anyway because I had attempted suicide and like the only way, i wouldn’t be admitted was if she thought, i was […]
I feel as though my soul is finished here in my current form. I believe that we are conscious beings born to learn lessons on earth that our souls can use to grow. It grows through experience and thought. My conundrum is that from all the lives before, we have all lived many a time and our souls have learnt from these lives. We have been rich, we have been poor. We have loved and we have lost. Every lifetime our souls learn something it has not felt before.
My thought on this life is that my soul has competed it journey. In this life […]
Yep…I’m losing hope. Again. I can only pray that next time I attempt suicide I succeed, in the hope that I don’t have to exist anymore. Who wants heaven or hell? It’s bullshit. I want to just not exist.
So today I got my first session of EMDR therapy (finally, after 2 years waiting and nagging for it). I get EMDR, because I have a trauma. It was really tiresome, and I cried like almost the whole session. It was really confrontational, because I had to tell about the incident that occupies me the most. But I’ve never told anyone about it, so that was really tough for me. Then I had to keep in mind the part of that incident which scares me the most, and explaining that. After that I had to focus on that and follow a LED-light that went from […]
I’m sorry
But it seems
That I-
The pain
Is just too much.
I think-
I need you
to be there.
I want-
I hope you
can stay.
But-
I don’t
I do not know anymore.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the […]
Hey….never have seen this site till today. I was glad to find it. Glad to know im not the only one as I think some times I am. I don’t even know where to start. I guess the beginning will do – I am 47 – male – and very lost. I was adopted when I was 2 months old. Never thought that would become a issue but it has reared its ugly head. My family seemed ok…had nothing to judge it by – my earliest memory was I would say 1 and a half to 2 years old. its when my mom walked me […]
I made a mistake today. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Today was just another one, an additional one. I had been getting closer and closer, further and further, and I reached it. Not entirely though, it was the beginning of the end. I stopped at the beginning. It would make Him unhappy, completely torn and deeply upset. I love Him. I do. But, sometimes I get frustated in my life. My whole life is filled with frustration, 2/3 of it.
I work, and work. Oh, and wait ! … I work. I go to the university, I go to work, I have to go […]
Give me a sign i want to believe
That life can be better, id do as i please.
With my last dream in my head
My last dream was when i wished i was dead.
Although my dream may not come true
They say follow your dreams and that just what ill do.
Had some decent sleep at my girl friend’s spot last night. When we woke up, she went to work, I came home a continued my slumber. I’ve probably racked up around 14 hours of sleep.
I’m waiting to hear back from a job that I really don’t want to start. I also am wrapping up some legal trouble that is coming to a head soon.
On the outside looking in, things are coming together. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m about to engage in an upswing and I’m not wanting to, I’ve had enough of the high/low cycle.
I know my days are […]
Hey,
So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.
I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. […]
you are all good people and I really do care about you all. This message may seem un-personnal, but I really mean it.
You all deserve better. Just allow it.
I’m 35, but I’ve been battling with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was a child. I was fat and smart in school. A perfect candidate for ridicule. Which I endured. Home wasn’t much better. My 2 brothers didn’t like me, and my mother is an alcoholic. My father worked all the time and when ever my mom and I would fight, and I tried to talk to my dad about it, I would be told not to since, because I was “trying to pit him against his wife, and she would win every time.” I ran away. When I […]
I have been with Antonella for a couple of months, we laughed and exchanged opinions, she was very smart and at times i used to confess her something about myself..I asked her to be more intimate, she refused. She said no. I’m too fucked up in the head, she wouldn’t be right, i “need a special person”.
This thing haunts me. It haunts me. I can’t stay, i can’t sleep. She liked me. I swear my fucking balls she liked me. What is wrong, what is wrong, what
is
wrong with me and the people like me
I guess im just Tired
Tired of being bitched about by my parents.
Tired of being laughed at.
Tired of being made fun of.
Tired of feeling ugly.
Tired of being ignored.
Tired of feeling unloved.
Tired of no one caring.
Tired of pretending to be happy.
Tired of being Tired.
I’m thinking of leaving… This world has so much pain and I don’t want anyone else to feel my pain. How do I get everyone to hate me so that I can leave without the ones who love me feeling pain too?
Why are we treated like fools just because we do what we do to our selfs let me tell you if only you knew how it felt but then again what do I know I’m insane I think of people getting tortured just for fun and guess what I’m doing it to them but let me tell you whose next your next