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adults say people who are my age (13) are to young to die. i just nod and go along but on the inside im screaming how do you know! no one has the same maturity levels as anybody so you cant say we cannot commit suicide
the last time i will see the sun come up as i wake
the last time i will look in my closet for what to wear
the last time i kiss my mother goodbye on the way to school
the last time i walk the halls of the murders that killed my confidence
the last time i wave goodbye to my best friend as im getting off the bus
the last time i will greet my younger brothers home from school
the last time i will help with dinner and dishes
the last time i call my dad to tell him i love him
i now dress in my finest clothes
i get the […]
i am  not afraid to die but when will it come to me and envelope me in the sweet desire of death. i will end it all together….someday, for now ill keep dreaming
A lot of people say that Suicide is cowardly. I disagree. The one thing that is a constant source of apprehension and fear in humanity, is death. No one knows what happens when you die. Is there an after life? A heaven or a hell? Are we reborn? Or do we simply disappear?
Many of us are preoccupied with our own death and the preparations there of. We write Wills years in advance, we buy life insurance, we go to church and pray in hopes that through redemption we will obtain a better place in the afterlife that may or may not exist. We as […]
I’ve  been living a hermit lifestyle for a while now(a few years), after being bullied in the 6th grade it was my way of protecting myself because I thought “nobody likes me”  so why not save myself the trouble and from then on I was the only person I could go to but after a while that started to hurt myself emotionally and I really began to hate myself and I couldn’t trust anyone and felt like I was less than everyone that nobody could understand me, sometimes I wished that I could make duplicate of me just to talk to. I don’t trust anyone […]
Suicide to me 4 months ago seemed like only something I would hear in long hours of health class or something that would never affect me. Living in a small town of about 7,000 people you would only hear things along the line of sporting events or town meetings. Never anything about death. Until March 13th, 2012, I was sitting in the recliner debating whether or not i should go to church that night. I decided not to because I wanted to relax for the night. My step dad and I were watching TV when all of sudden we look outside to see 2 cars […]
*My mom is mentally and partially physically abusive
*my dad didn’t want anymore kids, aka, me
*my sisters raised me, then left me with my mother
*my dad is never home
*my dad never talks to me
*I was molested and taught to masturbate at age six by my sisters friend
*my mother openly talks about my idiocy and stupidity to strangers
*I have been suicidal since 6th grade
*my mom left me in 4th grade
*I’ve been convinced that its okay to give my body away
*I’ve been raped
*I have commitment issues
*I’ve tried to commit suicide twice
*I have an addiction to cutting
*I’ve been bullied because I’m different, emo, a kandi kid, scene, bisexual, on […]
need something to write about. anythin to distract me from what im thinking
A few months since  I haven’t write anything. But right now everything is so fucked up, I’m fucked up. I’ve been cutting again, besides I haven’t been eating and if I do. I just puke. So I’m back in this horrible shit, that’s called life. Somewhere in my mind I believe there’s hope, but is it there really hope? I just want to finish everything. Nothing makes me feel alive, nothing makes me smile. I’m dying inside, and nobody around me notices.
Imagine this if you will. You’re transgender. You grew up in a poor, abusive household where you lived in constant terror and stress. Your parent-captors told you if you didn’t tell CPS they would pay for you to go to school, but they meant the terrible community college in the neighborhood. You are disabled mentally and physically. You have chronic pain from fibromyalgia and a back injury, and migraines constantly. You’re completely broke because no one wants to hire a young transsexual much less one that’s disabled and doesn’t even have a degree yet because you were homeschooled by incompetent idiots and completely fail at […]
1. It’ss ok to die whenever you want to.
2. It’s ok to try to find other ways of living if you think you’re not at the end of your tether yet.
3. Nobody ha the right to tell anybody what to do.
4. It’s not shameful to talk about suicide.
5. As much as it’s ok to die whenever, just don’t die over trivial little matters please!
6. People who don’t want their significant others/family/friends to die, need to consider why they’re suicidal in the first place, and help them.
7. You’re allowed to vent and rant! Express yourself however you want, just don’t […]
Well I’m here at the lake, just me my gun and what’s left of this case of rocky tops. For once I’m finally at peace, I watched the sunrise an set an besides that I’ve done absolutely nothing today and loved it. I’m ready this time no panic, no fear everything is just dare I say peaceful. My heart is pounding as I write these last words but not racing just steady hard pumps, I’m a bit anxious with anticipation about what’s going to happen after I pull the trigger so I’ve sat aside any preconceived notions about the after life and just take it […]
They bring up memories. They bring up pain. They bring up the past. There is no gain. Only loss. I want to cry so badly right now. And I feel– Know– nobody cares. You may say you do, but I know the truth. I look at my screensaver, I read them. Obesity. I’ll always be it. Ugly. I’ll always feel it. Depression. I’ll never outgrow it. Stupid person saying he can make everything better. But guess what happened last time someone said that?? “I… Kinda met…. Someone.” Then he left. He never talks to me anymore. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. That’s […]
I’m gonna have coffee and cake now to put a smile on my face. Then a good walk will keep me happy for today. Another day to stay heere. Then will start process again tomorrow, with different activities to keep me happy. I’ll stay alive for longer that way. And when I get old it’ll be the same, till I find myself too frail to go on. Then I’m gonna end it. I’ve decided that’ss how I’ll know that suicide is my only and last option left, so I won’t kill myself before I get the chance to live for some experiences I might miss […]
Im back again, to let out all my emotions.
Today is monday the 17th of june about 10:01am
It all started on sunday. I was working, like i would normally do at Macca. i was doing drive thur so giving to food to the cars and then ths guy was like to me ” Oh i swear i brought this face stuff” im like what? and he says ” your face! i have this brand of face wash and you should try it, ill bring it for you next time ” when he left i ran into the bath room at work and stared at my face.. […]