General

all the progress i made and for what? to end up in the same way worse mental state and all allone again. how many times am i supposed to go before i just give up? thatys all they think i’m capable of anyways. its all i know how to do. and the one thing that i need to change to possibbly have a chance a something better i am not willing to do.  he’s the only one to ever really love me and if es in the streets ill be right there with him. he said he was going to change and i dont want […]

uSo this may be a Long story. Im 15 Nd Im n Foster care. Its been about 2 years I was put in the system because of abuse. My mom is a lesbian Nd her girlfriend physically abused me. My mom even would help. Ive been to sheppard pratt Nd brook lane mental hospitals. Ive been on zoloft trazedone melatonin tenex celexa seraquil lexapro doxipin and respidol. Different mixtures of antidepressants anxiety sleeping Nd antiphyscotic drugs. Im not crazy tho. I feel Like my life is falling apart Nd Noone can help me. I absoluly haré my life n I dont know what to do. […]

These past few days have been bad for me, I’ve felt suicidal and I don’t want to be here anymore I’m so tired usually I can come up with a plan to keep occupied but right now my mind is blank,I’m on summer vacation so it’s supposed to be fun and I had so much that I wanted to do but I don’t know what to do I’m very tired and I wish I had the energy to start doing things.

I’ve spent the last 2 years wishing for my end. I’m in my late 40’s and find it unbelievable that it’s taken this long for me to realize that I’ve never been happy. I’m fairly certain that I will not do it because I just could never do such a thing to my child who I love so very dearly. My child saves my life on a daily basis. My problem is that I don’t want to be saved. I really want the pain to end today, but it won’t. My strength to hold will inevitably fade. I pray not to wake up tomorrow and […]

i don’t deserve this gift of life. all i do is damage everything that gets in radius of me. i’m weak and disgusting and deserve to suffer. i’m useless and a hinderance. to describe my existance i’ll say imma lech living off a host. good thing imma organ donor, probably someone more deserving can have them. lolsz.

I hate eating…. My family is so poor and my mother is trying to save alittle money… It feels so wrong eating , or wanting things,……my mom is so irresponsible …we wants me to have every thing a normal high school senoir should have and want……but it’s retarded for me to think about such things like prom or senoir trip of a class ring……but my mom is dead set on it……..I don’t think I can do those things….prom will proably cost 900 dollars, senoir trip will proably 1000 dollars , and my senoir fees will proably be over 300 dallors ……………..I don’t want my family […]

It’s been 8 years since my husband died and no matter what I do or what I try I just can’t move forward… For 8 years I’ve been trying to move on and put my life back together, but no matter how hard I try I find myself back at square one… I’m starting feel like I’m living on a snakes and ladders board!! For the last six months I thought I’d cracked it, and although it was bit scary I felt I was finally moving forward… THEN I got a letter from the tax man that I owe money..money that there adding daily interest […]

This is going to sound a little weird, and i wish i had gone my whole life in ignorance of this fact.
but i didnt.
so you wont either.
So here we go:

The day my dad told me he was sleeping with my sister has to be the oddest day of my life.

My step mom and my dad never really got along as far as i knew, and the night had started off with them getting into a fight and her storming off.
it was just my dad and i left at the house, my step mom had taken her kids and left while my […]

So how is everyone feeling right now?