For general topics related to the site.
As if depression is something that can be remedied from the contents of a first aid kit.
Category:
General
today was better.
this whole week has been awful. i get scared everytime someone laughs, or tries to talk to me, or even looks at me.
today i forced myself to be more confident and it was so hard, but by the end of the day, i wasnt even thinking about it. i talked to the guy i like and people seemed nicer to me. maybe if i make myself act this everyday, it will just become part of my personality.
IÂ need something real do you know how I feel? This life is like living in shades of gray. You hold on so tight and then close your eyes but all you can feel is the life of a knife. I want some hope and I try to cope with my pain. I try to help others but not helping myself is driving me insane. My best friends left because of their selfish ways they cant understand the choices ive made. They say its my problem life is to good to be sad but thats because they dont have a sickness driving them mad. I need […]
I found this site about a year ago on my sister’s laptop. She was 15 then, and it was exactly three weeks before her 16th birthday. She’d declined my parents the joy of setting up a “sweet 16” party for her, because she didn’t want to give them the joy of setting it up. Then on her 16th birthday, she killed herself. I never got to ask her about the site, or why she always did everything she could to make our parents angry, now it doesn’t even matter. I don’t know if she had an account, I only know the site appeared on her […]
there are more than 100 ways to let go. but the only thing keeping you where you are is your own cage. your mind constricts you to where you are. there is no way around it. ive laid down for them a long time ago. all i wanted was to be a better, stronger person. i hate who i have become for them. ive gone through all this, pain, doubt, and dislike in myself because ive listened to them.
when will it ever be enough? this weekend i will make that change. no more being caged!
I gotta take my own life.
fourth grade and things didnt get better. People didnt really talk to me and if they did, they never had anything nice to say to me.I constantly got called names; Fatty, little miss piggy, worm (because i had my hair braided and they looked like little worms), four eyes, book worm, slob, ugly etc. I became very drawn back and I started to write poetry. My first poem was called no one cares about me. its a self explanatory poem. the names got to me. they weighted on my heart so much. I became bitter towards the world. I started to get a really bad attitude. I fought back […]
Wrote my Last Will tonight. Getting it notarized this weekend and signed by two witnesses tomorrow. Felt great. Left most everything to my recently deceased lover’s family. His mom was the second kindest person to me; the first being her beautiful son who I can’t bear to live on without.
life is a four letter word,
a four letter word that sometimes feels like its filled with empty meaning
hate
another four letter word that over powers the word life
love
a four letter word that doesnt get used often enough
ugly
a four letter word that controls the person who i see in the mirror
dumb
a four letter word that is the reason i dont see a reason for going to school
worthless
a nine letter word that defines all my feelings
What did i do wrong?
Why are you always sad?
Why do you look so depressed?
Are you okay?
Is there any way is can help you?
Why dont you ever smile anymore?
What did i do wrong?
Why would you want to hurt?
Why do you intentionally harm?
What happened to your wrist?
Why are your thighs so bloody?
What did i do wrong?
Why do you dream of suicide?
Why would you want to die?
How can i make you stop?
How […]
I hate every second I spend in this hell hole that’s supposed to be my home. I hate looking at my dad, every time I do I feel this surge of resentment. Im tired of being that bastard’s punching bag, the fuck up to blame when things go wrong, the one who’s talents are ignored. I’ve never cut before but tonight I really want to. Everything that’s important to me is ignored, the only thing that gets me noticed is when I get pissed off and snappy, then they yell at me and I’m left crying, trying hard to explain. No one understands, they can’t […]
Head up stay strong fake smile move on.
stop cutting
that’s what needs to happen
that’s what i need to do.
but the problem isn’t knowing that
i know it all right
i know perfectly fine that’s what i have to do
it’s just i’m not strong
never have been strong.
i’m not strong enough to stop
because i need the pain so much
i need the anchor to the earth
so much
that i can’t give it up now.
i don’t know if i would call this an
addiction
but maybe that’s what it is.
idk.
how should i know?
why should i know?
and sometimes i just want to be
gone
wiped out of existing forever because you know my existence is
pointless anyways.
i am so […]
why why why is the question i get asked everyday .
why are you sad why are you mad why are you hurt why are you depressed . why why why
why are you cutting why are you suicidal why do you wanna die .
why do you feel so alone .
and i just sit there and cry cause to be completely honest i dont know why i dont why i am such a mess or when it began.
i dont know why i wanna kill myself i just feel like it would be the best thing .
my bestfriend kellis commited suicide today […]
First sorry if you don’t understand I’m chilean..
Since last year I want to faint me.. Maybe my parents notice that I have problems… That I’m not giving supply ( I can’t handle this anymore) cutting, wishing to take a pill and don’t wake up never again.. Is normal?
I was normal before… But something change me as a person (psychology talking) and I’ve noticed that we don’t notice when the things start until there’s no turning back.. And you will never feel that great again.. Your past will always be there to remember you your mistakes..
Maybe fainting me things will change…
Please if […]
leting go fuck it im going to tell you evrey thing so if you read this let me know below
written by why i dont no
that it reley im don here fuck this i give up you win i dont whant to be here ill drink my self in to a oblivean on schtish wisckey of dart moor beer mmmm so yer that me no frends and well not careing i youst to help people you know i loveds it now i get greef im 16 and i feel like im 100 iv know more bout life that i would have you belev im smart but still in the botum streem in school i did pre traning for the paras iv whatch two of my frends kill them selfs in freont of […]
First things first here in the UK its exam season.
So my friend had an exam today: Biology and considering he wants to study medicine – well psychology, it was really important for him to do well. I asked him yesterday if he felt prepared for it and he said he “barely knew any of the content” – but he always says that and goes on to get 90% on his papers and so I pushed the comment aside.
After his exam today I asked him how he thought it went and he said “SHIT”. Again its something he always says when he finishes exams and so I began to push […]
i have been depressed and suicidal for almost 4 years now. i am currently 14 years old. i have attempted suicide around 20 times (no attempts in recent year). i have frown tired of life, and i no longer feel as though i have a place on earth anymore. i promised myself that i wouldnt do it, but i can not keep that promise much longer. i dont know what to do, i am losing control and i dont even mind it.
Haven’t been on this site for awhile. I was hoping not to come back, but I guess it was unavoidable.
I have a wife, a kid, a car, a mortgage. My wife has dreams. Wife makes twice as much as I do, and I am constantly between jobs. I have no dreams or hopes. I am trying really hard to hold on to my sanity and my job (as both a father and employee) but it is not working anymore and I am tired. I want to get the hell out of here.
I know very well that if I kill myself or divorce, I will destroy […]