General

Life=Shit 😉

Of life and everything. I had a break down back in September and since then my world has fallen apart. Very soon I will be left with £38 a week to live on, and that will reduce soon enough. Life just isn’t fair. I need to feel alive otherwise what is the point in being here? I don’t enjoy anything any more. I wish I could just flip a switch and exist no more. Even my care co-ordinator has given up on me. Back to planning again – suicide isn’t easy.

Having the shittiest time of my life… Does anyone care? None of my friends do. My gf (now ex gf) cheated on me. i started cutting again, and none of my friends give a fuck about me. whats the point of me still living? I wonder how much u have to drink to die from alcohol poisoning…

Numb and empty with no hope of a change of status quo. Knowing fully well that you may make it if you try but being so fucking lazy to get off the freaking bed. Yea thats me. Saint lesswill. Incapacitated by a love long gone

I am still alive, told y’all that it would take a power much more supernatural and sophisticated to keep me this way. Well you ve got it there.i am still breathing.

Is it just me? Whenever I try to reach out for any kind of human interaction it backfires. Why does no one want to be my friend? Right now I feel like I’m worth nothing. The people around me don’t care about what I’m going through. Everyone thinks I’m okay. No one ever notices how much I’m hurting. It’s so hard to keep living. My heart aches in my chest from pain and sadness, and I want to try and cry to soothe myself, but I’ve cried so much these past few days that no tears are coming to my eyes today. I feel suicidal […]

I need help. I have talked to three different people and none seem to help. One was way to religious for me and the other was to like dont worry you’ll be okay and the other was telling me to run away. Like cant anyone help me. I’m dying on the inside over here and no one seems to notice or care or understand what to say. Like I my god just is it that hard to make me slightly steel better.

I thought maybe, just maybe, I could be someone on this site. That I could matter to a few people here. But I was wrong. Nobody gives a shit about me anywhere else, so I don’t know why I expected it to be any different here.

Hello!

Sadly I can not post my name because many people would be upset if they knew I did this. I need a friend. I have been bullied from grade 1, almost strangled to death in grade 3, and was threatened to be killed in grade 5. I am in grade 7, and not more than 2 weeks ago I was beat by my “best friend” with a baseball bat. I always have to wonder if things will ever get better. I wonder anyone miss me when I’m gone. Maybe a few. I think most would say “good riddance”. I’ve had a rough past few weeks, […]

I’ve gotten sick of cutting, well really, I don’t feel like cutting tonight, it’s been feeling less and less painful each night recently,  I need something else to do. So I grabbed an old bottle of pills and started swallowing them, I’ve only had eight, so it’s not like I’m gonna die or anything, but I hope I’ll wake up in pain tomorrow morning, it’s what I deserve anyway. In the meantime, I’ll cut for what little pain it still has to offer.  Night then.

Well, I realize that this blog is primarily for people who have had their bout with suicidal thoughts, but a friend of mine recommended simply venting my thoughts here to do away with the depressing ones. I’ve had my thoughts about suicide in the past, namely as a direct yet also indirect result of the first breakup I endured a little over two years ago now. That breakup completely changed my life, and completely changed me as a person. As a result, I over-think everything. On top of that, I’ve dealt with a father suffering from multiple mental illnesses, but I can honestly say I don’t have […]

It is getting worse, as far as how i’m feeling from day to day. it was getting better for a while but then all good things have to end right? When i’m around you i feel better for the time we have, its like im being fed hope, just to hold on for a little bit to make it to the next day or the next time i’ll see you. usually i can hold on, be ok til i see you again. hold my own. usually. this last week was probably one of the worse in a while. physical and emotional stresses almost killed me, […]

Lately, Ive been feeling very overworked, and even more under appreciated. I almost broke down while making dinner a few days ago. Ive been overworked because my older sister hasnt been here to pick up her share, so naturally it all falls on me. No, housework is too below my older sister, shes too busy flaunting “natural talent” for something that has been MY dream since I was a little girl. Every play she auditions for, she gets in, shes never shown interest in acting before, but she just has to be better than me. Ive been taking lessons for as long as I can […]

I describe my life as a long road and that I keep moving forward. No matter how many twists and turns I have to take, no matter how many obstacles I have to overcome it’s all about moving forward. All my life I’ve lived by this concept, but now I’m at this point where I don’t know where to turn. It seems that every time I breach this certain predicament, I have to sit down and tell myself what’s my next step. What’s the next thing to do. I’m finally at that point where I’m saying I don’t know. I’m the type that always thinks […]

the grasp life has around us is a tight grasp that only the lucky ones escape. there are some who don’t want to escape. but the majority of people I know do. But then again I guess you attract people you see yourself in. so does that mean I attract a mirror of myself only only with a different reflection? i don’t know. I just want the grasp that life and society has on me and my little mirrors to let go.

I’ve been searching for ways out this mess, I’m not going to dwell on my struggles, for anyone here, anyone whom chooses to read this, you all have your battles & struggles so I’m sure you know exactly what I mean by hopeless and in despair, we wouldn’t be here otherwise.

Asearlier I mentioned, I have been searching for any means out of this mess. I have tried multiple doctors, psychology & psychiatry, I jumped head first into anonymous fellowships & for years worked & applied the […]

This girl, she’s a cutter. She’s scarred to the max on her wrist. She has ‘DIE’ carved into her left thigh, forever present. The pain is everlasting. This girl, she is 14. She had a life, but a horrible one.

It starts out with no one. Only the sound of screaming and fighting, late at night, during the day, early morning. She was young when it started. She was 6 when she heard a slap. It terrified her. “What’s going on?” She thought countless times, climbing into her closet, the farthest, darkest corner, hiding under everything and crying.

School begins when she is 5. Immediantly, people point […]

I cut. And it didn’t do anything. The blood fell but I didn’t feel anything. I thought that was the whole point – to feel something?? Because I didn’t feel anything, that taught me a lot. That taught me that there is no hope for me to ever feel anything, I go through every day without feeling anything, and nothing, not even pain, can stop that numbness.

It makes me want to cut more, and deeper. It makes me want to do as much as I have to so that I can feel something. I never felt satisfied from it. Usually people start off fine […]