General

well just look at my face the black sheep of life who has now lost apslotly evrey thing

I feel so lost..

I’ve never thought of suicied. I’m too afraid of pain. But I guess it can be the easier way to go. I have an amazing boyfriend who tries to help me with my problems. But while he’s tending the tree, the roots are still being eaten away.

My dad doesn’t really respect anyone, himself, my mom, or especially me. He only cares that you can earn your keep, not your feelings. Not how his constant ups and downs, tantrums, and screams murder me, little bits at a time.

I don’t like complaining, much less being a burden, especially on those I love. I know many people have […]

He’s gone, and will never come back. That, I’m sure of. I almost don’t care anymore, regardless of the 21 years we spent together. It’s still such a shock – such an emptiness. The fact that he’s blaming me for everything, that he believes I’m far more ill than I am, is disconcerting. It makes me doubt myself, all the time.

I’m cold. I’m almost always cold. I sleep alone. I get up alone, I live in near silence, and fear. Where will I go, how will I get there, what will I do?

I gave up […]

That’s it i’m checking out.. My last words is “suicide because life is just too mainstream”..Goodbye! See you all on other side..

Everyday I feel like shit.
My walls are crumbling.
I’m falling.
I’m worthless.
I can’t be stuffed with anything.
It’s pointless caring.
I’m sick of trying.
Let it end.

That moment, when the voice in your head, your voice tells you over and over, like a mantra. “You are nothing”

All day, especially when I am alone, it says it continuously, over and over until I feel sick, to the point where I want to vomit.

I am saying it now, I have been alone for about 15 minutes, but I continue to say it, to myself.  “I am nothing, You are nothing”

When will the suffering be over?

Please just… be quiet.

l am an oxygen bandit.

I did not ask to born, I did not sign up for anxiety and depression.

I fulfill no purpose in society.

I have no significant other nor children.

The world would be better off without me.

I will be gone soon.

To me it takes a lot of courage to off myself.

It is a permanent solution to permanent problem.

No, sometimes things don’t get better.

I will never be good enough..

if any of you ever need anyone to talk to for anything you can txt me 8043716894

spin spin spin its all my life seems to do nower days i dont know were i am in the world no more im lost not fownd on a sinking ship and thers know way out i whant to go away from here and be in pese

If I killed myself right here right now I know no one would care it would make everyone happy in fact. My friends tell me they care but they never talk to me anymore. Right now seems like a good time to go everyones asleep so I think I’ll get the gun and end all this pain I havent wrote a note just yet so I’ll have to do that, not to mention calling my best friend promised if i would ever kill myself I’d tell him instead of him finding out secondhand. I just hope that people give life a better chance then I […]

I write here almost everyday. Today is the worse day in a long time I feel so sad. I feel it through out my body. I don’t think I will be getting out of bed I’m to tired. You know I think things were getting better he was making me feel okay when he was around. Now he’s gonna go away for three years. I want to go away to but my parents tell me everyday that it’s selfish. That does not make me feel any better. I feel so used. I feel so walked on and beaten down. I know I should suck it […]

i never thought that i will ever return back to this place again in my life…but i don’t know what to do..
life sucks.. there is so much of stress..
so much of loneliness..i don’t trust anyone..i don’t want to talk with anone i don’t know what to do..i feel i am mentally ill.. i don’t know.. she left me again..fuck………i want to cry loud

I used to cut. Not a lot, just every now and then. The pain helped relieve the emptiness inside me, gave me the strength that I desperately needed, and also helped me punish myself for my mistakes and inadequacies. I had this really sharp box cutter that would cut pretty deep. But after my mom figured out what I was doing, she took it, along with my stash of industrial chemicals that I was saving in case I decided to make another attempt. That was almost nine months ago. Most of my scars have faded and are barely noticeable now, except for one scar which […]

Holy shit, I don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel like I’m so up and down. I like when I’m up, but that makes the downs so much harder to handle. I hate this. It’s excruciating to be depressed. I just think about suicide constantly, and I feel so alone, even when I have people to talk to, even when I have friends surrounding me. It’s times like this that make it hard not to just get it over with. And nobody has no idea.

Things are getting bad again. I’m keeping everything in though. All my emotions, feelings, passions. I’m keeping them on the inside. I know this is a horrible thing to do. One of the most horrible things anyone could do to themselves, since it is mental self-abuse, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to bring any one down. I don’t want to hurt the people I love, I don’t want to hurt anyone the way they hurt me. Maybe I’m just drowning in temporary sorrow, or maybe this is a permanent thing. Ya know, it’s unique and unreliable but it always comes back. The […]