General

I attempted to bond with my mother. I tried to make her feel special and appreciated.

I painted her nails and tried to pamper her for a bit.

I put on the biggest smile. I laughed and I talked in complete sentences for once.

I actually maintained conversation and acted happy.

I couldn’t do it. She kept getting upset at the loud noise my siblings were making. She yelled at me for trying to talk to her.

After finishing, I quickly maneuvered to my room. I can’t take it.

I was just trying to make memories with here before I decide.

I’m using all the time I can in order to make […]

Sometime I wonder why my friends bother to spend time with me at all. It’s like they come to hang out with each other in front of me but not hang out with me. It’s like I’m not here at all. I’m so sick of being invisible. I wish that I didn’t want to be noticed. I wish that I could be content to be by myself. Why must we have this desire to be with other people? It’s tortuous.

I want to die I dont feel like living anymore I sometimes say to my self why did I come to this world I wish I was dead I told my mom to move me school because every one tease me im tired I feel like sucided my self

It’s becoming so difficult to stay strong, my mom constantly is yelling at me and I even tell her that she makes me feel like shit and she doesn’t care. I found her pill stash, I’m taking all of them tomorrow.

I am a pansexaul male. I have the ability to love and accept all people for who they are. Yet, why can nobody love or accept me? Every time I let someone look at my soul, they run away. Duck and cover. This is why I am closed off, this is why I am plastic

I am a voice, yet I am unheard. I have a mouth, but it never speaks. My eyes see it all, my hears never stop listening. I am a body. This is all. I have to hear, but I never can be heard. I am alone. I want it to all stop. The noise.. Just stop.. I am begging. Just stop.

I’m falling apart. Everything and everyone I once cared about dont matter to me anymore. I use to be a really good soccer player and loved it but now when I play I don’t feel the same happiness I use to. I don’t care about some of my friends anymore. I feel like they all are fake and will leave me like my last friends . I just seem not to care about anything really.

I saw a really sad story on the news. It was about a teenage girl named Rehtaeh Parsons from Nova Scotia. She was gangraped by four boys from her school after getting drunk at a party. Her peers then started cyberbullying her and calling her a slut and some guys even asked her to have sex with them. She waited 3 days before going to the police and the police refused to charge the boys due to lack of evidence. The boys weren’t even punished by the school administration.

Being a teacher myself, I really feel bad for this girl, having students in this age group. […]

Goodbye people.. im done

Fuck your lies. No offense to Gaia, but I’ve wanted to get off this planet for decades. Fuck your illusions, your wargames, your stupid tech, your amusements, and your apathy. You’re lame in your torture, pathetic in all executions, even with the resources your oppression truly does cause me to romanticise my eventual death… All this fucking pain I go through because all the right people are dying for the wrong reasons… Yeah, I want to quit. I want to just grab that blade and end Me… But that’s where the real pain comes in… As much as I want to fucking die I can’t […]

That’s me.

stop all of the dreams
and start all the nightmares
in my head
if this is what life means,
i’d rather be dead.

shut off the world,
turn off the lights
this is your time dear
you go tonight
write your goodbyes,
and say your last words.
pick up the knife,
ignore how it hurts

Scream!
into the night!
this is your time,
spread your wings
prepare for the flight!
darling i’m jealous!
cause you get to die!
and i’m left drowning,
here in the lies.
i can’t open my eyes.
the dream is permanent.
i cannot escape from it.
eternally sleeping.
never will i wake up.

I am completely alone, all day every day, unable to do anything because I feel so sick, in unbearable pain, unable to think or concentrate at all. Even just writing this is taking so much out of me. Oh, and the air conditioning’s been broken all week so it’s 90 degrees in the house.

I have literally just been laying in bed in the dark in the same position the entire day, doing nothing at all except trying to survive and occasionally crying because things are so unbearable. I don’t think there’s anyone who cares at all.

I literally just cannot do this anymore.

I’ve […]