General

i apologize if this all sounds kind of random. i have been having a hard time trying to organize my thoughts. being organically enhanced has nothing to do with it by the way. it is 420 on wednesday and a feeling of dread is filling me. my alone time is quickly coming to an end. every evening is becoming a chore to not get into a fight with dave. i don’t know if i am just hypersensitive but his snide remarks and general sarcasm upset me and are generally wearing me down. tired, so very tired. as i mentioned my mood has taken a dive. […]

The only end to misery is death!  Better to be dead than to be alive.   I’m glad we all agree ^^

As much as I wanted to deny it, I believe I’m suicidal.  Somehow I found myself on this website.   Just sick of the vanity and all the mundane living.  Feel like I live the same day everyday all day.  I pursue a  happiness that is always eluding me.  Pretending to be happy and fitting in is the worst vanity of all!

Drunk and bored.  Drunk ’cause I hate life and  am more than likely bipolar.  Feel free to comment.  Randomness is fine.  Our fishbowl of a world is random anyway.  yay.

So my birthday is tomorrow…the 4th of april. Actually it’s really depressing that I’m about to take my life. On the outside I’m that “wealthy girl” who lives the dream. Sure folks, my family is fucked up (My parents got divorced) and I DON’T have a friend who doesn’t call me a ***** for falling in love with a boy, who’s a dick anyway. He eventually broke up with me. So I had no friends, and my school only has 250 stundents. So there are “groups” in our school. And if you were a loner (Me) you can’t even get people to talk to you. […]

I can’t afford a new one.

I know putting your life at the same value as that of an object is… well. but none of us would be here if we were completely sane. I won’t have life without the internet. I won’t.

I haven’t been here for a while but I see not much has changed for a lot of people.im starting to come off the meds and doing well I haven’t thought about suiside for over a year now.if you are depressed hang in there it’s gotten better for me but the important thing I want to say is hang onto hope..maybe the light will shine through for you too

Well passed over at work again and now i want to take the biget with me how sad i want to go but i dont want to leave my wife or scar my kids or stepson, i just want to bang my head against the wall or go drive away for days but i will have to come back to me! wish i was able to turn off my head and sleep i am so tired and just tired (big sye) boo hoo what a suck i say to myself and go ahead you piss weak man and then the upper cut is no one […]

I’m only 12 and i just want the pain to end. My mum left me and my dad and brother when i was 10 and she hasn’t made contact since. lately ive been going through a lot  my dads being horrible to me he hits me and treats me horribly, to cope i take drugs and smoke.He favours my brother even my brother takes drugs and deals them. My school is giving me a rough time too they think that im just a naughty child and my dad does his best. and i just think if hitting children is his best then i wonder what the worst […]

Say I have a square peg and a triangular hole of roughly the same size. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make the peg fit in there. It just won’t work. I don’t have any other pegs to use. The only thing that makes sense is to give up. Continuing to try to force something unnatural makes me miserable, why would I keep doing that?

Yet that’s what everyone says I’m supposed to do, because I want it to fit so badly and I’m unhappy that it doesn’t. Wouldn’t it be better to shift my focus to something […]

Despair

Hopeless and tired
would it really matter if I died
I’m torn in two from the inside
blind to love
full of rage
I feel like I’m in a cage
despite my hate
I appreciate the one’s who caused
so much pain
I look at my scars
remembering those years
I start to fear
just who I’ve become
I’m going insane
so heres the truth
I don’t know what I’m doing here
filled with all this despair

-Sam

I hate the scars on my wrists and my legs. I hate them for reminding  me of my pain. I hate them for giving people a reason to judge me before they even know me. I hate when people call me emo or crying for attention. I use to cut because the physical pain was easier to bear than the emotional. a cut can be healed cleaning and bandaging the wound. Simple. But how do you heal scars that have remain open and jagged for years? Time does not heal all wounds and I will not forget the past and risk making the same mistakes.

I dont know if I am over reacting or not, but I am so tired of dealing with depression. I’m so tired of feeling tortured day in and day out and never seeing any end to anything I do.

I am currently a college student and nothing I do on campus seems to help my cause.  I am probably just feeling sorry for myself, but I am probably dyslexic and can’t stay focused in any of the classes i am taking and therefore failing them.  I find little interest in anything I do and therefore skip all of my classes that I have to go to. […]

Hi,

I’m a suicidal teenage girl. I’ve read some posts on this website and some of them have shed some hope on my situation, others are just very easy to relate to. I have depression, anxiety, insomnia, and OCD. For the past few years I’ve gone from having mild suicidal thoughts to having full blown plans of how I’m going to end my life. I was hospitalized last year because I told my therapist I was suicidal. The hospital I went to was awful. I really don’t want to go back, and I know if I tell my therapist how severe my desire to kill myself […]