General

I get so tired of waiting for a new day

Searching for an answer, to make this all go away

Like broken fingers fumbling for a grip on needle and thread

To stitch the wounds of the past

But I’m not sure how much longer I can last

I scream out your name

And tell you that I’m the one to blame

But I’ve waited too long

And now that you’re gone

I’m wading through a river of tears

With the weight of all my disgrace

Dragging me beneath the currents of fate

Chewing my heart out just to survive

I’m struggling, to keep this soul alive

My body now an empty vessel

Void of dignity and hope

Slowly filling with […]

Be strong now, because things will get better
It my be stormy, but it cant Rain forever

everytime i think about it, it becomes real. the hate and the pain and the unrealistic feeling that knaws at me as i cry. this guilt hidden inside that masks my deadness to the world. i laugh and i smile just to hide the pain lingering inside. im a threat to my own life. sometimes when i cry i make believe that they aren’t my own tears. and if i believe it then maybe i won’t feel like shit but i never believe it some one tell me that im not crazy…its my fault that they leaft me and now they resent me i need […]

I’m really not. I wanted to go to school and see Trevor, but I could hardly get up. My lower right abdomen was hurting so, so badly that I couldn’t move. I finally fought through the pain, got up, and talked to my mom about it. She thinks that I may have Appendicitis. If I do, I’m not really worried. She made it sound all bad, but it’s not really. Sure, it could kill me, but there’s a small chance of that happening. I even went on WebMD to see if I might have it. (I’m probably going to the doctor when his office opens) […]

My entire life is built on escaping the past. But somehow people feel the need to dig it up and throw it in my face.

The one person who had a snail’s chance in hell of stopping my suicide is out of my life. Why? Because she dug up something I did 20 years ago, practically before she was born, and she threw it in my face. I’m so sick of being judged by people. Nobody knows what really happened, and I’m long past it. So I thought.

I will say this til my dying day (which just got closer), there is no such thing as […]

A quote of the day that saved me, “Get a handle of anxiety before you deal with everything.” This is where I struggle. It only saved me for a moment but I’m afraid I’m going to approach another day where I build up stress in trying or wanting to discover my identity. I want to know who I am. But it seems that killing yourself is an easier way. At first I would visit a school counselor starting 7th grade. Until junior year I started to have suicide thoughts. My first plan was to die peacefully by drowning in the pool With a 30 lb. […]

I don’t know if I’m depressed, I don’t think I’ll ever kill myself, I just feel as if I could die and not much would be lost. Sometimes I feel as though everybody wants me gone, but I doubt I’d ever hurt kill myself.

I don’t have amazing grades, I’m not very pretty and I’m not popular. I don’t mind not being popular or pretty, I don’t have much in common with most kids my age and I can’t help being born a certain way. Hell, not being smart is even okay too, I just hate that people expect me to be.

When people see me they can […]

I haven’t been able to achieve anything the last few years.  No job, failing health, I don’t care for life anymore, no boyfriend, heck- I can’t seem to make a single friend who truly wants to be with me the last few years.

I am unable to achieve happiness.  I hate my life, I hate that I haven’t been able to accomplish anything, I hate that I can’t even get people to like me.  :'(

And seeing everyone else who has got a life and has friends and family who love them just annoys the crap out of me!  Why can most everyone else achieve that but […]

And man, stress will have you suicidal. First off I’m-(for lack of understanding) using the term psyhic and have done and seen somethings. Guess i’m an empath as well. But the world has me depressed at alternating levels. To the most horrific point of disvauling life, where my perspective is subjectly animalistic. TERRIBLE! I’m dangerously close to the edge. I keep thinking about starving people-Africa mostly and gun violence. I need advice .Insight plz.thx!

Both my parents are loving and hardworking people with only wanting the best for me. They’ve invested everything they’ve had into making me a good son. I’ve turned out to be a failure. They don’t deserve to waste anymore money and grief. Since birth, I’ve had all my needs tended to wthout any effort on my part. I’ve been a slob my whole life. I’ve never had friends. I’ve spent my entire life in my bedroom, living a life of excess and luxury. I’m weak-willed. I deserve to go to Hell, if that’s where I end up going. I don’t care anymore. I don’t want […]

In a dark room is a girl sitting still with her nails scratching the floor beneath her and her breath is getting out of control as a desperation spiral, somehow it becomes laugh.
That hysterical laugh that replaces the crying, little tears show up on her face and her little fist hit the ground, the inestbility of her mind is driving her crazy.
She screams and it hurts deep down on her chest, creating an echo of pain that moves like waves on her entire body. “Is this ever going to end?” she wonders, but a voice on her head sais “never” and she knows […]

I’m hiding everything…from everyone. It’s not like they care. They don’t know…not the slightest clue. And the good things are fading and I’m wondering why I’m still here. I’ve stopped eating. And sleeping. And caring. But they can’t see I because I’m hiding everything…from everyone.

oh yay, aren’t I happy to have more chemo tomorrow… 🙁 well if it makes me better, whatever, although i’ll never like it.

How would you deal with being told you’re a horrendous ***** at least 3 times a week by someone who’s supposed to love you? Leave? That’s not really an option for me, as everyone else has always done it too and I”m not about to find someone different, I’m sure. Family even hates me.
I can’t cope with all of this, there’s already way too much going on in my life.