General

Your such a piss poor of a father.. You loose my respect for you everyday.. Gosh! How am I ‘trying to piss you off’ by asking MY mother, YOUR wife where to put something.. Then tell me not to talk to you for something sooo small!? You’ve called me a *****, told me I was dead to you, told me You hated me, Oh yeah and called me a fatass the other week.. Way to make me feel any better about myself. & For your information I do things unlike you.. How was I being ‘cocky’ when I asked you were did you want me […]

I’m a 15 year old kid named Domino with new cutting issues. I’m gay for my current sexy ass man who lives 300 miles from me, and has my forearms covered in clean cuts for him.  I’m completely smitten with this man, yet afraid to meet him when I’m 18. I just got caught cutting again and I’m afraid they’ll put me back in the hospital. I’m ALSO getting paranoia pills and depression pills on Monday…

So how the hell am I’m so scared that I’m not giving my Gay Pride Rainbow and Peace Sign teddy bear enough attention? I’m afraid he’s going to come to […]

See, they don’t know nuthin. They…they think they know it all. These bitches think they know me, and my story. But ey! they don’t know shit. ya see they think, jus cuz I wear this eyeliner, this black, jus cuz I have scars…that i’m less than human. But ey, those damn bitches dunno shit about me. they dunno how to talk, how to think, how to be, how to fuckin LIVE, an they aren’t ever gunna learn now are they. they’re just gonna keep on thinkin their narcisistic little thoughts. And I’ll keep on puttin up with it. puttin up with their shit. WELL UMMM…EXCUSE […]

Why do I have to spend all day around people that think depression is a joke? I don’t like hearing, “oh, depressed people are just fishing for compliments”, or “depressed people should go die already”, I don’t need to hear people’s thoughts on what is essentially me. So much for this care people have.

I hate it when people just devalue everyone with depression. They treat it as some kind of joke. They don’t bother to think, “this person is going through a pain that makes them want to end their one and only life”. Everything is just too crazy for my liking. Maybe it’s […]

This is my first time posting here.  I’m glad I found a place where I can say this stuff openly. Sorry this is long.

I’m probably not gonna off myself, but I hurt and the thought is really there today.

A few months ago my cat died.  He was my best friend for 15 years.  He was my rock.  I didn’t trust anyone except myself with his care.  Whenever the world got too much, I could just look at him and have enough determination to go on. He actually NEEDED me.  Now he’s gone and with him my purpose.  (If the death of an animal hurts this […]

Things have gotten abit better,but bys, why cant they make up their mind, at this age they all just adct the same, i thought he loed me but he just wanted to shag an im like “WOAH hold back aye? Just want somone who undertsands me.. Can someone please explain why boys act this way?

I am very irritable and I can’t control my impulse towards aggression

(I am not sure if i am expressing myself correctly but I hope someone gets the picture and maybe has some advice)

This is what bothers me:
1. any stranger that says even a remotely unpleasant thing to me (eg. please take the other elevator because I am scared of your dog), I lose control, short breath, heart pounding,  some tears in my eyes, want to insult the person and sometimes physically attack the person(no matter the age, sex). I never actually attack anyone but when I come home I think about it all for […]

Last night one of my dance teachers wanted to talk about me (she knows everything) & eventually I told her about my relapse with cutting.

She asked what I considered “good things” about me, and all I could say were my cuts. We started talking about my options & all I could say was death. I could tell it hurt her to hear that, but it was all I could say.

It’s been stuck in my head that all this is “normal” & once I got home (after promising I would try and stay away from cutting) I relapsed again.

I’ve been wondering if anyone else feels like this, […]

im tiered of  people action like i am nothing, treating me like nothing. i just want it to end like right now. all the shit needs to stop, and i can make that possible with the flick of a blade. but some say that i should stop, no one knows my pain but me!!! they need to quit their shit and leave me the hell alone before i fucking end them! all those that think they know me and add on to my pain by making me feel bad. the thing that kills me is when they compare me to my brother. I AM NOT […]

If I hear one more person tell me how lucky I am, I’m going to shoot myself in the mouth. Actually I’m going to shoot myself in the mouth anyway, so no big deal.
All my life, I’ve pretended to be something ideal, I’ve convinced myself and others that I’m a talented, good-hearted soul with a great future. And when the illusion began to wear thin, I would disappear and surface in a new city where I would do it all again.
One of my few pleasures in life is reading what my old friends say about me. They’re all looking for me, assuming I’m […]

Just started cutting myself lastnight, cant help but feel worthless. Hate myself for not being able to be a better person.

Been a while since I’ve logged into this website. How’s everyone?

I wasn’t well last time I entered this website. Times went one, and here I am today. I wouldn’t say that I have completely change from who I was when I first discovered this page, but I can say that I have improved a lot from the person I once was.

Today, I just want to revisit some old posts that I had up in the past, and laugh at some of the most unpleasant things I said. With that, I should apologize to myself for reacting such way toward myself at that time.

Anyway, without further […]

I don’t know what to do.

The only way I seem to feel slightly happy is intoxicated. And even then, it’s not that I’m really happy so much as I don’t care about my problems. I tried to give up drinking and smoking weed last july, but about two weeks ago I caved. Apparently the only time people seem to enjoy my company is when I’m messed up on something. A few days ago, a couple guys who I hadn’t seen in a while showed up at my house, and convinced me to get high. I was happy to have anyone around, so it wasn’t difficult for them to persuade me. […]

Day 5 of knowing that he’s expecting a baby with another girl.
Not doing well..cuts drawn on my legs..no more room to hide.
Quit my new job because I couldnt handle trying to be cheerful.
Sheets bloody..pillow wet.
Three tears fell to my keyboard..odd. I didnt know I was crying…or that I was holding my breath.
Food turns to ash in my mouth and water tastes like gasoline.
I wish that I could rip my heart out of my chest that it would not hurt when I thought of him accidently.
This is not some stupid teenage love..I’ll be 20 this year. Had I not […]

Goodnight everyone. I hope you all  can  get a good night’s sleep tonight and dream of a day when things will be better.  Stay strong and please don’t give up hope. 🙂