General

im in foster care… FUCK MY LIFE i just wanna kill my self. i have no one any more new school new people new everything is rfucked up!!!!!! i really wanna kill my self i need help ansd since god wont answer me plz leave me comments i need guidance 🙁

If you had the chance of a better life, would you take it? Then seek help and give modern day medication a chance. It could save your life like it did mine.

It’s amazing what the right medication can do. I’m a different person from last week. So I want to apologize to all that read my nasty post telling everybody to fuck off. I want to thank you for not turning your back on me . I wanna help those that need it and be here for people that need to talk. My name is black hole and I’m your friend.

You’re right… I lied…. I was scared. I was scared to talk about what I was feeling because I didn’t want to go back to the hospital. I’m scared of you telling again… I went through the worst I’ve ever felt this past week and I couldn’t tell you because I was scared you would freak out and tell on me again.. But you DID help… I’m not sure how to explain HOW you did but you did. I don’t want to fight again so I’ll leave you alone if you want. Just talk to me when you’re ready. I understand why you’re pissed. But […]

I’ve been out of school and it royally sucks. I don’t do much, and I hate it. But it’s not like i can change it, because I don’t have the energy to get out of bed. It’s been like that for more than a year now. I don’t do anything. I probably only like two people right now and the rest can go screw off. I don’t have much, I’m not the smartest person on earth. The only thing that kept me going was my looks. And let me explain before you call me vain. I wasn’t super good looking, I mean I was no […]

so many things have led up to my suicide.  i’m in the middle of a bad bankruptcy, i’m having insurance issues with my friend who is driving my car, my bipolar condition is out of control.  i don’t know what to do.  i could go to jail for bankruptcy fraud, i could be sued by my friend driving my car for breach of contract or insurance fraud, and each day my condition is getting worse.

i pray for an end to it all.  will the gun do the job?  will it ensure lethality or will i wake up in a hospital bed a vegetable?

i want all […]

I don’t know WHAT the hell happened to me this week… I completely lost it and I thought this was it. I felt so suffocated and trapped inside myself. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe and all I could FEEL was the boulders holding me down. I thought I HAD to end it. I didn’t think I’d be able to breathe again. I’m sorry for dragging people into it when I didn’t actually believe anyone could help… But I’m ok now. I can think and breathe and feel again. Without some of you I might not be here. Not that life is wonderful. It still sucks. […]

Im alternating between eating disorders. I feel so fat and ugly. Nobody likes me. Sorry that I annoy everyone. You know, you might feel bad for yourself because I “cramp your style” or “make you uncomfortable”, but how do you think i feel to hate myself. To have a meltdown almost everyday in school, but have no where to go. My thighs now look like tigers, covered in the stripes I gave to myself from cutting in the bathroom. I have no self control. Its a bit understandable when I have no where to turn. The few friends I have really don’t like me, but […]

So, I’m glad to say I’ve regained all of my hope that I lost the other night! I feel refreshed and invigorated after this morning’s workout. I would just like to thank everyone who has continued to give me support in some of my darkest times. I may feel so alone in life but it’s reassuring to know there are still caring people out there who will take the time to read about my situation and give some emotional comfort. I’m grateful. I’m also still on a high after acing my Astronomy exam yesterday! Even after all of the stress I was put through the […]

Falling asleep at night and falling into a dream is suppose to be your escape from reality and the pain you deaÅ‚ with during the day. Not for me. My dreams prolong my anxiety. Stress depression and other problems… Hate dreaming.. It’s more painful than real life.

“FEARLESS’ is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though every time you’ve tried before you’ve lost FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want all over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the […]

I sure hope the Mayans are right!

Oh Hai there!  I’m brand new to this site and got recommended to view this, and peoples’ posts occasionally.  I’m really interested in what people have to say about how I view life.

So, let me first off by saying my name is Alex and i love listening to music! It’s what relieves stress from my horrid present.  A clear understanding of what lies ahead.  I typically look for a girl with that certain feeling of being on top and achieving anything.  A smile in my darkest moments.. I sometimes walk home crying for no reason what so ever.  Maybe its because of my sick and […]

Okay, so let’s start from when i was 2 months old. My dad got arrested, and soon my mom broke up with him, so it was just me, my mom, and brother for 2 years. Then my mom married a man, i never knew about not having a daddy, i was young and happy. I always thought my step dad was my real biological father. Then my mom told me at the age of 9. That’s when i remember on my 5th birthday i got a birthday card, but i didn’t know who it was from..Now i know. At age of later 9, my mom […]

Please, please, please help me. PLEASE, HELP ME, PLEASE. I’m having an attack of paranoia and I am about to become insane. I need to sleep, haven’t slept in 2 days and Im so scared. I think someone is watching me, please don’t hurt me. I feel someone is coming for me, the death, don’t let me die, please dont let me die. Help me, please, help me. If a take a pill amoxicillin will be okey me? Help me,  can’t stand this shit s horrible. Some is scaring me, he’s watching, please don’t come for me, leave me alone. Please, please.  You’re hurting someone, PLEASE […]

I have been, for a long time.

My reasons to die? well, let’s just say everyone makes me feel I’m useless and I don’t matter at all. I don’t feel that I’m important for them, even to my family – I don’t know if they even belong to that category. so… anyone can give me reasons not to?