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every weekend i try to reach out to people. every weekend i fail and realize how badly i need to die. everyone else’s lives are so much more full than mine, i will always be alone because I’m not real, not a whole person, not complete.
Bullying affects soo many people, and some, the way to deal with it is suicide. Some people are brought up in a household where there aren’t happy gatherings, where there is domestic violence, to the woman, and the children are abused, bashed. Some people are lonely. Have no freinds, family, attention. Where the view from their eyes are empty. There are people who are sexual assaulted, raped. Where they are used for sex and torture. There are people who get kidnapped, lets say, kept by a pedo for many years. Where they are tortured with rape, bad living, and are alone with fear. There are […]
Its that time of day again. The time where everything is dark and hopeless. Where everything is horrible end  everything is falling apart.
This happens everyday and there is nothing I can do about it.
Some nights are worse than others… Last night was the worst in a few weeks. so tonight is not as bad but it is still horrible and incredibly painful..
I wish I could feel total numbness. Or smoke some bud. Take a few shots of vodka or whiskey. Anything to stop these thoughts for the time being..
cutting is not goin to help me and it’s not what I want To do. I want […]
I still hide behind this facade that everything is okay. I at least try to. I just don’t have any purpose. I’m not important to anyone. I don’t matter. I can’t get over the fact that I lost my best friend. I didn’t see it coming, and he won’t tell me why. He was the only thing that kept me hanging on, willing myself to make it through another day. And now I don’t even matter to him. I was stupid to think I did. As soon as there wasn’t anything in it for him, he disappeared. I knew better than to trust him, but […]
On October 31 2012 Â my dad shot himself. Now I don’t know why he did that. I have only one person left :/ mom && she’s broke . F.m.l<\3
He left me.
He promised he wouldn’t
He was my everything && my name in his phone was ; myeverything(:<3 . Wtf. -_- fml. .
I think I know what to do now. Â It’s kind of calming.
Keeping posted on how everyone here is doing is hard because I do not have my computer and I’m  not able to do much off of my phone. But much love and hope to everyone here and that sees this post. <3
Finally saw my best friend. She is alive and as beautyful as ever:) Â but we did a lot of talking.. She is going to go through with her plan, but promised to stay a little longer because I need her. I guess I accept her leaving me, so long as its not anytime soon.
She is the only one who knows exactly what is going on right now and I can’t loose the other person that I love and that is apart of who I am.
Last night was a night of reassurance, so long as she keeps her promise. at least for now
Let me end it , if you don’t want me to show me why I cnt do this anymore the pain is to much !
Hi
Looking for some help, if that’s OK. I can go to places I have been before, no trouble in travelling there if don’t have to walk too far. But if I have to go somewhere new or speak to someone outside I really panic. Literally freeze. I cannot wait in line anywhere, and when I walk and someone walks towards me I freeze, so they walk into me. I live in London, this happens a lot. Does anyone know what I mean? Can you give me some pointers? I have to do something about this. No point in living if cannot buy myself a cake […]
Hi, my name is Tatyana, people call me tatty. As I was growing up everything seemed normal, mom always thought I had ADHD and everyone else said I was normal. But I wasn’t. My mom met the man ad her dreams, so she thought. He was nice, to her. Me.. Well he’d beat the hell out of me. He’s make me bleed, he smashed me so hard he got my blood on the wall and on my bed, I was only 5 years old. I’ve been in 8 foster homes. They were all horrible. Tryed killing myself when I was 7 I over dosed on […]
I am scared of myself. I have like another personality. When I want to cut myself I can’t stop. It’s like someone is stoping me. I have a personlaity that is loving and caring and funny then I have another one that hates everything and dispises the world. I’ve tryed committing suicide 30 times or more. I’m scared that the next time I’m going to succeed. dining want to die, we’ll part of me doesn’t want to die but the other one is strongerso it is winning. HELP!
I do know that there will be people who will miss and judge me. That’s one of the reasons that keeps me from killing myself. But what if I come up with some omnipotent supernatural being for myself? I would then make a pact with it that it will make sure that people left behind won’t judge me, that people will not miss me, that I won’t cause suffering by going away. It works for some religious people. I guess that’s just a thought experiment.
I am new to this site and it’s a little comforting To be honest. My story is a long one I’m only 17 & life is hard. Its gotten so bad that all I do anymore is stay anoint in my room. Not a day goes by that I cringe at the fact of getting out of bed and starting the day because I know what is goin to happen. I wake up and as soon as I leave my room it starts..the daily morning insult from my dad..its something every day…your nothing…you will never be anything..worthless…your a waste of a human life…that’s just at […]
I think about it every night before falling asleep. You know, that time when you are supposed to be winding down, lying in your bed in the darkness with nothing but your over active brain that won’t shut up to keep you company. Sifting through memories that you long to experience over again. Feelings you’ve felt, decisions you wish you could alter.
I’m going to end it.
I was spoiled growing up. I have an older brother and a younger sister, so that makes me the middle child and the second boy. I was created for the sole purpose to give my brother someone to play with […]
Well, for starters i need to tell you i’m mexican. So my english may not be always great. When i was a kid i was a very spoiled girl, mostly i remember… (Or all of it) by my dad. He used to be my heroe. Literaly. This memories are just like a bomb in my head they come one after another in so much disorder that i cannot express them well. My parents used to fight always. There was screaming, throwing things, door slams, car persecutions, cheaters investigation, sarcasm about my dad in every adult convertation… My mom started to unload all of her trouble […]
I know that this is kind of late, but I just wanted say my piece of what I was thankful for.
I am thankful for the watch that my father bought me; without it, I would never be able to tell the time or know how much time has past. You see, my watch isn’t fancy, and it isn’t too cheap, but its perfect for me because it’s very symbolic to me. My watch symbolizes how much my father really cares that I know what time it is, how he went out of his way to buy me something that was small even though it mattered to me. My […]
So I’ve struggled with depression for years now. I’d say since I was about 13-14. Middle school was when I first contemplated suicide & it was after my very first boyfriend broke up with me. We didn’t date very long & things never got past first base. I’ve always been an emotional person, letting things get to me that shouldn’t.
Well over the years I’ve had my fair share of boyfriends (back to back really), and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ve realized I may have developed some co-dependency issues from the lack of knowing how to be alone. And to this day, guys […]
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